“I now have the tools when something doesn’t go right or as planned, I recover so much faster. I still get emotional, clearly, I’m human. But my recovery time of the trigger to my response has gotten so much shorter. – Kristin Dillensnyder
In today’s episode, I interview one of my clients, Kristin Dillensynder. In it, she shares her story about how coaching with me taught her how to go “all in” on herself to create her dream business by coaching with me.
Before coaching together Kristin and I knew each other for YEARS. I knew all the goals she had for her life and while she would reach out for help from me from time to time for little things like a call here and there, she never invested or even showed interest in my 9-month simple success program.
I KNEW I could help her in that process get everything and more she wanted from her business and life but I also knew it had to be HER idea to coach with me in a bigger way, not mine.
So, I waited patiently year after year for her. I saw her have some successes here and there, but nothing like I envisioned for her. I kept the vision and hope alive that one day she’d see that I was the perfect coach for her.
Finally, one day in August 2020, I got a message from her that she binge listened to my Become an Unstoppable Woman podcast and wanted to hire me. I was stoked, my dream had come true!
But I didn’t celebrate for long as now it was MY job to help her get what she wanted and MORE by investing with me.
We got to work and over the next 9 months Kristin not only created her dream business, she transformed her marriage, started prioritizing her needs, and learned how to go ALL IN to believe in herself.
You won’t want to miss hearing Kristin’s journey. It’s an inspiring one.
Listen via the link at the top of this page.
RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
→ Continue the conversation in my free online community
→ Get The 4-Day Accomplish Your Dreams Free Training
→ CONQUERING INFERTILITY episode
Full Transcript
Episode 120: KRISTIN’S COACHING STORY
This is the Become an Unstoppable Woman podcast with Lindsay Preston Episode 120,
Kristin’s Coaching Story.
[music]
Welcome to the Become an Unstoppable Woman podcast, the show for goal-getting, fearfacing women for kicking ass by creating change. I’m your host, Lindsay Preston. I’m a wife,
mom of two, and a multi-certified life coach to women all over the world. I’ve lived
through enough in life to know that easier doesn’t always equate to better. We can’t fear
the fire, we must learn to become it. On this show, I’ll teach you how to do just that. Join
me as I challenge you to become even more of the strong, resilient, and powerful woman
you were meant to be. Let’s do this.
[music]
Hi there, my friend. Welcome to another episode of the show. I’ve got a treat for you today.
I am interviewing one of my clients, Kristin Dillensnyder. We’re talking about her coaching
journey over the past nine months. Kristin and I started working together in August 2020,
and we are wrapping up coaching together in my nine-month simple success one-on-one
coaching practice or process, I should say, here at the end of May, beginning of June 2020.
I thought it’d be a great time to bring her onto the podcast so she can share what her
results were.
Kristin and I actually knew each other for many years before we started working together,
and we share that story. I won’t give it away here, but it has been such a treat to work with
her. I’ve been waiting to do this with her for a while now. When she felt like she was ready
to start coaching, I was ready to make her dreams and her vision come to life. It’s exciting.
Kristin you’ll see is a coach. She’s an infertility coach, and she helps women when they’re
going through infertility to really not let it overtake them and to enjoy the process as
much as possible, and so many other things that she describes so much better than I do
here.
Kristin really wanted to go all-in on her business. That was why she invested with me to
be able to get to the place where she was the breadwinner in her family because her
husband was retiring because he’s in the military. Over the past nine months, we’ve been
www.LindsayEPreston.com | © Lindsay E Preston Coaching LLC 2
able to do that. You will hear from her story that a lot of her results that she wanted from
coaching didn’t come till the very end, but that did not waver her belief in herself and in
the coaching process and in the coaching that I was giving her. I’m so glad she trusted me
enough to stay with it because where she’s at now is exactly what she wanted and more.
Without further ado, here is my interview with Kristin Dillensnyder. Kristin, it’s so great to
have you back on the podcast. Your first episode, you were here as a coach, and it was two
years ago yet I feel like we’ve both grown so much since then. I’m so happy to have you on
today as a client talking about your coaching journey with me over the almost past year. I
think we started in August, right?
Kristin Dillensnyder: Yes.
Lindsay: We’re recording this at the end of May. Almost nine-ish months. Let’s talk first
about what coaching was like for you when you and I had our consults in August of 2020.
Kristin: It was 2020, the pandemic was happening; the kids were home; I was trying to
manage three jobs with no childcare support, and I was burning the candle on both ends. I
was stressed to the max, but I couldn’t ask for help. I definitely was growing some
resentment towards my husband, even though we were tag-teaming through the childcare
thing, it just felt like I wasn’t getting enough help and we weren’t on the same team.
Actually, I had to drive a couple of hours to go to a work meeting. I listened to your
podcast, the whole three hours, just back to back to back to back. I don’t know if it was just
the repeat messaging or just the constant full three hours, but you kept saying things like,
“If you are not farther along or if you’re not where you want to be, I can help you.” I just
remember thinking to myself on the whole car ride, “Kristin, why have you not signed on
with Lindsay sooner?” As soon as I pulled into the parking lot or the parking garage, I
literally scheduled a consult with you and reached out and said, “Let’s do this.”
Lindsay: I remember because you reached out to me on Instagram.
Kristin: I was ready.
Lindsay: You were ready. I was like, “No, no, no, let’s have a consult.” You’re like, “Are you
sure?” I was like, “Yes. I definitely want to consult.” Backtracking, you and I have known
each other a couple of years. Funny story for you. You don’t even know this story. One
night I’m having this little mini launch, I think it was one of the first launches for my
business, for a program I had at the time called the Life Luvers Challenge.
I remember I was out at dinner with my husband, and I get a ping on my phone. It must’ve
been Stripe. I don’t know what I was using at the time. I was like somebody purchased the
Life Luvers Challenge. I was like, “Oh my gosh, I’m out at dinner. This woman signed up
and I don’t know who this woman is,” because at the time anyone who had signed up, I
usually had a lot of contact with them. You were my first person that bought that I didn’t
know. Two, I was out having this personal moment and I was like, “Oh my gosh, my dreams
are coming true because I’m doing this dinner thing and someone just bought my course,
who I don’t know.” I was like, “How cool is that?”
That’s so cool because you’ll always be cemented in my brain with that. Then you went
through Life Luvers and I remember you being really engaged, and I remember loving your
energy. Then we kept in contact even after that. You didn’t end up continuing to work with
me, where most people did who were that engaged. I was like, “Why won’t Kristin work
with me?” Like, “I really want to help her.” You and I had even done a one-off session one
time, I remember.
When you reached out to me and you’re like, “Lindsay, I’m ready to sign up.” I was like, “Oh
my gosh, I’ve been manifesting this moment for years now.” That’s why I was like, “Okay,
we need to get on a consult. I really need to make sure I can help her, and she’s really in
the right headspace for this.” I’m so glad we did that, Kristin. We did that and then talked
more about where you were at. I have the consult notes pulled up in front of me too if we
forget something. I remember the big thing from that consult was like, “Lindsay, I’m ready
to go all-in on my business.” Was my biggest takeaway.
Kristin: Yes. My husband’s in the military and his retirement date was something we’d
known about for a long time. I had been trying to grow my business for what felt like a
really long time. That first one-off coaching session I did with you was so valuable because
I was like, “I don’t know what I should do. Is it this, this, this, or this?” I was in the
overwhelm of too many choices. You just said, “Pick one and see how it goes.” That gave
me the permission and the focus to pick something and go. I’ve never turned back since.
I wasn’t at a place in my business where I felt like my husband could retire and I could
keep going after it. It wasn’t making the money to help our finances as a family and I felt
like this ticking time bomb of deciding if I was going to have to stop pursuing this dream
or get a full-time job. His retirement was right around the corner and I was like, “This is it.”
It was like the home run stretch. This was it. “This is my last chance to prove to myself that
this dream I’ve had can actually come to fruition and happen.”
Lindsay: Two, if we go back to what you mentioned earlier, you were working three jobs,
and you didn’t have childcare. I remember you just being so overwhelmed and you’re like,
“I’m ready to cut this stuff off my plate,” again like, “make my business work.” We had some
stuff to clean up, Kristin. When we first started, it was cutting all the things off your plate
and you taking time for yourself and getting through those blocks because you had a lot of
guilt come up with that. You remember?
Kristin: Yes.
Lindsay: Again, what was it in the consult that you were like, “Okay, it’s time. Let’s go”?
Kristin: I don’t know if this is what you want to hear. I didn’t need you to say anything in
the consult. I needed to commit to myself in the consult.
Lindsay: Yes.
Kristin: I was ready to sign up and give you my credit card information and pay without
even the consult, but the growth that I saw happen was I took ownership in that process of
the consult with you and talking out what my goals were, where I was, where I wanted to
be, and believing that was really in my future, as opposed to just signing over the money
to you and then putting the pressure on you. I realized that that’s what I used to do
because I’ve had other coaches, I’ve signed up for other programs, and I often walked away
from those feeling like they never met the mark.
I think doing the consult with you was when I realized that it was really all on my
shoulders; you were a tool; you were going to be the guide, but it was really on me.
Lindsay: That’s so good. Two, you were putting your money where your mouth is in some
ways of like–
Kristin: Well, I’d done that a lot, unfortunately, but again, the money part to me is I’ve
always believed in paying for quality and paying for what you want and investing and
trying, but it was the work after that it was where I was lacking.
Lindsay: Then we get started in coaching. As I said, there was the biggest block of you
feeling guilt with taking time for yourself and getting some of that overwhelm off of your
plate. The biggest takeaways that I have from your journey, Kristin, is watching you just
own yourself and trust yourself. Some of the beginning sessions, we would go off the
coaching process a little bit and I would mentor you as a coach. We would talk about
different things, you’d be like, “Lindsay, what do you think about this? Lindsay, what you
think about that?” I’d be like, “Kristin, what do you think? What do you want?”
It was so cool over those months of you, more and more stepping into that and trusting
that and even asking less questions and just doing it. Would you describe it the same,
Kristin?
Kristin: I think yes, because I always felt like I just needed the guidance and the next step
in the checklist from somebody. That’s what was missing for me to feel like I could
accomplish my business goals and have the quality of life at the same time I wanted. Also,
I’m an Enneagram 2, which means I’m the helper. I’ve always thought that I had to serve
other people first, and it meant that I had nothing left behind for me.
(11:00) Anytime I did ask for help or for a break or wanted to put time and energy in me, it
felt like I was doing it at the expense of others, ultimately my family, and I didn’t like that.
The big shift was realizing that. I knew this logically, but I didn’t know it for me in my life
practically, but when I flipped that over and I spent time on me first and filled up my cup
first, I could actually show up to everything so much better. That was to my family, to my
business, but also then to grow my belief in me and love for me.
I didn’t know that there was– I think I’ve always been confident outwardly, but then
inwardly there’s still the inner mean girl being like, “No, girl, you can’t do that. Who do you
think you are?” Doing the work to get that quieter in my head let me be the version of me
that I am today and it makes everything easier.
Lindsay: A couple of things that I remember too, Kristin, from the journey is those
moments when the inner mean girl would pop up because you were making some big life
changes, not only personally with you prioritizing yourself, which feels scary, but
professionally with you shutting these jobs that have been a comfort for you for a really
long time of stable money and I’m going more and more in my coaching business. Then as
many people may or may not know with coaching is that there are bumps along the way,
especially with clients and certain things happening.
I remember one session specifically where something went down with a client and you’re
really internalizing it and making it mean something about you. We completely shifted
that in that session. You know which one I’m talking about?
Kristin: Oh yes, I wrote that down in my notes too.
Lindsay: I remember thinking, “God, I wish I would have had this as a new coach,” because I
feel like we saved you a ton of times. Instead of it really hindering your self concept of you
as a person and a coach, it was just like, “This is just part of the journey, Kristin. What are
we going to make about this?”
Kristin: 100%. I actually had an incident where somebody spoke unkindly about me and my
business on social media two years ago. I was still holding onto that and quieting myself
and holding back. When we had that session and talked about this new incident with a
client of mine, I realized that that hurt, and I still had the hurt, but the speed that I
recovered from it was significantly faster. Literally, I think even six days later I had another
consult, and I signed a new client. It didn’t stop me and it didn’t impact me negatively
because, one; I think I had the space to figure it out. I learned from you like you said, that
it didn’t have to have it mean internal things about me.
That helped me also release what had happened two years ago when somebody spoke
unkindly about me. One of my takeaways is that I now have the tools when something
doesn’t go right or as planned, I recover so much quicker. I still get hurt, still emotional,
clearly, I’m human. Nobody wants unkind things said about them or bad things to happen.
My recovery time of almost trigger to response has gotten so much shorter. I eliminate the
reaction part, which is what I used to do. I used to have the trigger and react and stay in
that state for too long.
With your help, I now have a trigger that’s not very good and I can get to a response that is
thoughtful, self-serving, I always talk about being classy. It’s still in that sense and
professional and helps me not regress and move forward.
Lindsay: Damn, Kristin, you just explained that so well. That’s your communication
strength, for sure. I’m like, “Hey, that’s so good.” It’s so true, one. Two, we go back to that
moment. The thing happened with a client. I’m remembering now it did bring up that older
trauma. We’ll just call it trauma. We were at the place where you knew all the tools, and I
was like, “Kristin, you’ve got to go and,” what we call, “release this.” “You’ve got to go fully
fill what happened before.” You having the tools now to allow that incident in the present
moment not to become trauma for you.
Instead, you were just able to fully process the emotion of it, which is what I’m talking
about all the time, if we just all knew how to deeply feel our emotions, we wouldn’t be
holding onto this stuff anymore. That’s what you were able to do. I remember in that
session, there were tears and you fully processed it. That’s what you needed. It was
beautiful.
Kristin: It was definitely what I needed. I love coaching because I prefer to verbally get
through those emotions than writing them out, but that’s not always a possibility. I’ve also
learned to be able to do both now because I can’t have you on speed dial all the time. That
was also, I think, part of my journey and experience of into the self-trust that I was always
looking for outside validation. That was one of the big takeaways I’ve had too, is I do not
need outside validation anymore. That’s changed so much in my life.
Lindsay: That’s been huge, even in just the past few weeks because I would still catch it in
you. I’m like, “You’re looking for external validation. You’re looking at it finally just
submitted in.” That’s where, Kristin, I saw energetically how you were showing up
differently, especially on social on your business. Because at that time you weren’t getting
the results yet you wanted in your business. Again, people listening to this, this was just a
few months ago with Kristin. I was like, “Keep doing what you’re doing. I promise you, your
energy is really good right now.”
Let’s go through that story. The first few months of coaching, we’re clearing out all the
blocks, and it was rough on you. I really coached you hard sometimes, Kristin, of like,
“We’ve got to build self-awareness.” Because part of you wanted to avoid feeling some
feelings and it was really hard for you to prioritize yourself, but you did it. Then the next
three months it was like, “Okay, who is Kristin authentically?” We’re building that, and I
could see you start to get an alignment, but the results weren’t happening. Then walk us
through all of that and what happened next.
Kristin: Okay. It’s funny too because I thought about a podcast idea for me one day and it
would be called late to the party because I always feel I’m delayed. [laughs] It’s funny that
you say that, but to go back to answer your question, my business was making progress. I
was getting more clients. I was getting traction. I was getting some feedback from women
that they liked what I was doing, that I was offering something that they needed, which
was wonderful, but it wasn’t consistent. It was one this month, two the next month. I think
that’s even when I had the incident where the one girl with one of my clients it just didn’t
go so well.
My initial response would have been like, “Oh, I’m going backwards and regressing.”
Instead, because I was able to process and talk that through with you, it didn’t stop me and
I kept my commitment to looking forward to what I wanted. I did have when we were in
the stage of trying to build up who I am and my authentic self, I had zero consults or any
reach-out for women interested in what I offer.
My belief was stronger than it was when I had two clients say yes because I wasn’t relying
on the external validation. I just truly believed it was only a matter of time. I had to just
stay focused on this one thing, not complicate it, not try and have shiny object syndrome
and find the next new thing and just put my head down. We had set a goal by April 15th. I
had this goal in my mind of how many clients I would have by April 15th, April 15th came
and didn’t hit it. The next two weeks I got six clients, and I went past that goal. [laughs] It
just rained down. It was like, “Lindsay, it’s happening.” [laughs]
Lindsay: Yes. I remember that call too. I was like, “You’re telling me all this stuff.” I was
like, “You need to give me a minute.” I was trying not to cry. I was like, “Oh my God, I can’t
take all of this in.” Two, just your self-belief had just really solidified, but if we back up and
I’m thinking about those weeks when we were really focusing in on you and like, “Who is
Kristin now that we’ve shed some of these layers of who you are not and really healed
some stuff?” What was so great about you Kristin, and you talk about this earlier with the
self-love, you were open to hearing all the amazing things about you, and you were taking
it and soaking it in and having it become a part of you.
That was so beautiful too because for some people that’s really hard to do that, but you
are willing to get uncomfortable to really soak in, “Okay. I am amazing. I am awesome.” All
of those things. That’s what allowed you to then start to fly, and even then we’re at that
point, really you could see the end of the coaching journey for me and you. I remember
even talking like, “How many sessions do we have left?” We hadn’t really fully hit the goal.
Then I was like, “Kristin, I can just feel it, the way you’re showing up.” It was just so
beautiful how it was just like, “Boom, here it is.”
Kristin: I’m sold out now. That was something that even when we started in August I did
not think it would happen. You know my story, but for anybody listening, April was the
month that I needed to be the breadwinner, and April was the month when I became a
sold-out coach. That timing had always been there and the road to it did not look like how
I thought. It wasn’t like stairs where it’s like the same increment at each one. It was more
of; I don’t know what it’s called, but when you get the EKG.
Lindsay: The ups and downs.
Kristin: Like up and down up and down. It was a little bit more like that. Almost like there
was always this knowing that it would be April, but if I had thought it had to be by April 1,
I would have had to give up. At one point, with you, I just committed that I would do this
as long as it took. I’m so glad because April 1 I wasn’t there, but April 30th, I was beyond.
Lindsay: Yes. I’m thinking about like, “What was it that allowed you to be that successful if
we’re looking at the coaching journey?” It was you started to go all-in with yourself of like,
“This is on me. Yes, Lindsay is here to help guide me.” You were also just super receptive to
anything I gave you. The good, the bad, the ugly, you were like, “I’m here for it.” You
trusted the process, and you trusted me enough to be like, “Kristin, I promise you I’m not
lying to you. I would tell you if you’re off. You’re really on alignment.” Some people really
struggle with that. That’s what made it so beautiful was you were just so coachable and so
receptive.
I think for you too, the other thing that really helps is, yes, we have the mentorship and not
allowing that to hold you back. I think even if somebody is not a coach, that mentorship
aspect of coaching is really beautiful because it’s like somebody who’s already been there
and it’s like, “Oh yes, so-and-so boss said this, your husband said this,” or blah, blah. “This
is what it looks like on the other side.” I was able to help you with that.
For you, it was the focus piece too, which you and I can relate to this so much. It was like
you were trying to get off focus from time to time and I was helping you really figure out
what is it you want, what makes sense here. I would give you a little bit of my advice but
again, it was like you just kept figuring out you on a really deep level. Now when I see you
go off and fly, I’m like, “Kristin’s got this skill of she always knows how in essence touch in
with herself and know, is this authentic to me or not?” Would you agree with that, Kristin?
Kristin: Yes. I think it was part of my people-pleasing being huge and always just trying to
not necessarily fit in but keep the peace and make everybody happy. I remember one of
the things we worked on was just like me remembering or me knowing that I’m not
responsible for making everybody happy. That took a lot of weight and pressure off of me.
I did, I wanted to work on this and this and this and fix this and this. You really had me
focus in on two things to work on and concentrate on.
When I did that, I actually saw the progress in those two areas, but then it did make it out
into other areas. My relationship with my husband is amazing now. When we talked in
August, it was not so good because I just was growing so much resentment because all I
was seeing was lack where he wasn’t doing enough. I knew he was doing a lot. I just
couldn’t acknowledge it and see it. Now, I ask for help without guilt. I recognize everything
he’s doing to help. We are on the same team. Our communication is so much better.
That wasn’t even a goal. That wasn’t even something we focused on, but it came from me
taking care of myself, me putting myself first and this authentic self, knowing who I am
and what I want, and communicating that.
Lindsay: Let’s touch it on the habit piece because I’m looking at your consult notes, Kristin.
When I asked you relationships, you said it was a 10 with hubby.
Kristin: [laughs]
Lindsay: You know what’s so interesting about that? This is a very common thing. That’s
why I want to bring it up. I do have a lot of women, they’ll come to me and they’re like, “Oh
yes, my relationship is great. My marriage is great. No problem.” Then as we coach, it’s like
they almost allow themselves to shed the layer of, “Actually, I feel a lot of resentments.
Actually, I see how I’m not owning my power. Actually, I see how things need to shift here.
This is some things are a little bit of bullshit.” I think a lot of women they get scared of
that, of fully admitting it.
I’ve even seen it this past week. I’ve had a lot of consults and women who aren’t investingself
in coaching right now. I can tell it because they’re scared of them fully admitting what’s
going on in their marriage, even if it’s not a bad thing of just like facing it. They’ll come to
me even and say, “Well, I’m not going to talk to my partner about it,” or, “It’s just not the
right timing.” I’m like, “All you’ve got to do is just admit it. It’s not as scary as you think,”
because on the upside of that like you just said, Kristin, you’re more connected than ever,
it’s just you finally have to recognize like, “Hey, there are some things that need to change
here.” Would you agree with all that?
Kristin: 1000%. Also, because I connected with you. I think it was in 2015 was when we
first interacted with each other. That was because we had the shared experience of I say I
got unmarried and your ex. I know we have this history of knowing that about each other. I
think I just had a little bit of embarrassment and shame that even though for round two,
for me, I wasn’t even ever thinking of breaking up with my husband right now. It wasn’t
like that level, but I was noticing that it wasn’t a 10 and I didn’t want to admit maybe to
you because we had that shared experience. Again, old me cared about the perception of
what it was all like, and I didn’t want to show a weakness or vulnerability there.
Lindsay: I think that relates beyond our history, Kristin, of having a former relationship,
marriage, whatever you call it, is that so many women– Because I relate to it with my very
first coaching journey with my first coach. I didn’t allow her to really coach me hard
because I was too scared to fully show what I was thinking and feeling. There was this
pleasing perfectionism that I wouldn’t have even necessarily have admitted to the depth of
it until after I left that coaching relationship. I’m like, “Why is there still some shit here?
What is going on here?”
Then as I’ve gotten coached later and become a coach, I’m like, “Oh, I have to really hold
space for all the authenticity to come out. When I find that maybe there’s something that
they’re not saying it’s up to me to really unearth that, I think a bit. For me and you Kristin, I
don’t remember us having sessions about your marriage but I think the big thing for you
was just like I’ve got to make myself a priority and you having to face that and going to
your marriage, I remember, and having conversations with your husband and being scared
to be like, “Hey, honey, I need this weekend alone.” or “Hey, honey, I need childcare,” or
whatever it was, or “I need this from you.”
As women, we have this; I don’t know, we just fear that. We can be badasses at work, but
when it comes to our marriage, it’s crazy how much we fear it. Then yet we’re met with
beautiful things. I love hearing that story, Kristin. Thank you for sharing it.
Kristin: It’s funny too because after that weekend and I asked for that time off and I went
and I did it, maybe a month or two after, I guess I was being cranky and my husband’s like,
“Do you need to get away again? I’ll watch the kids. Like, “Go ahead.” I was like, “Holy cow,
has this changed where I was terrified to ask before, and now he’s volunteering it out?”
Because he saw the difference in me on taking that time.
The other thing too, was you talk about the model a lot and being aware of my thoughts. I
was recognizing that when I went down to the kitchen and I saw dishes on the counter; I
had a choice on how I looked at that. I was looking at that like, “He expects me to do it.
That’s my role because I’m the woman.” Then I just went into this spiral, which is so stupid
because he’s never thought that. We’ve never been in that. Instead, I chose to think he
must have been really busy, I can go put this in the dishwasher.
I saw that in all of these areas because we were home 24/7, there was no work going out.
You’re cleaning up the kids, you’re eating all three meals at home for the whole family
over and over. I spent so much time in the kitchen. Every time I went in I saw something,
and I just chose to look at it differently in a way that reminded me that we’re a team and,
“Hey, he could help himself. He made lunch. Great.” Instead of seeing just dishes and
thinking we weren’t on the same team.
Lindsay: Yes. So good. Oh, I’m just going to soak that in for a minute, all the Kristin
goodness. Here’s the thing, Kristin, with you and how I describe your journey, it was just
like these little clicks we were constantly making, click, click, click of these shifts that
you’re making. Then all of a sudden near the end, it was just like, “Holy crap, what have we
done?” It was incredible. Can you just give us some bullet points of where life is at now for
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you? I know with the business and all that, we’ve danced around it, but give us the hard
facts.
Kristin: I’m very present in where I’m at. One of my challenges before was because I had so
many things on the burners. I was feeling like I wasn’t making any traction or hitting goals
or deadlines. When I am with my daughter, I am mom, and I’m with my daughter. When I’m
working, I am working. That has been a huge game-changer for me because I’m just
present in the moment and really enjoying and taking advantage of that time. That is one
of my biggest transitions.
Like I said with my relationship with my husband, it’s great. The kids are in school now but
we both work from home. We’re still home 24/7 together, and it’s awesome, and it’s just so
much better. I definitely feel like the last year has made us even stronger. We’ve been
through so many other trials before with infertility and all of that with our own personal
story. We’re just even better. My business, it’s a business. I own it and I am so proud of it.
I’m so proud of myself not giving up because I’m literally– It’s happening what I dreamed
about for so long. When I talked to you in 2015, this is where I wanted to be.
One of the biggest ahas was learning that I am exactly who I’m supposed to be. Who I am
is I was made to be an infertility coach. I believe it so much I feel like it’s in my blood.
Even if there’s challenges, even if it’s not like stairs and incremental growth, I believe that
it’s almost a fact and it’s a really cool place to be.
Lindsay: The thing with that too, Kristin, is when you and I have talked before we went into
this coaching agreement, I don’t know if you got the vibe off of me but I remember telling
you many times early thinking of like, “Man, she’s made to do this.” I think even when we
had our podcast interview, at the end I remember saying like, “Kristin, I just feel all my
body like you were meant to do this. You’re going to be big.” I’m like, “I swear, I’m not just
making this up.” Even other times I would tell you. I think sometimes in the coaching
industry people can think that of like, “Oh, they just want your money, and they’re going to
flap you up and say all these things.”
I’m so glad you believed me enough because really what it was is that you just needed to
believe the vision that I saw for you, and you did.
Kristin: Yes. It’s really fun to have a goal and reach it. It’s been challenging because I had a
very successful corporate career, and to walk away from that to tell people in a business
professional setting that I’m choosing to be a life coach for women going through
infertility, I got my rolls, “Oh, good luck with that.” [laughs] That was something I
recognized too over the last nine months that we’ve been working together was I’ve had
multiple opportunities where I’ve had to say it out loud and own it and say, “I’m an
infertility coach,” and walk away from like you said, the comfort.
Every time I did that, I was recommitting to myself and my belief before nobody knew. I
wasn’t telling people that this is what I did. I wasn’t owning it. Because of the work of
getting to my authentic self, I don’t care what anybody thinks. [laughs] That’s really
freeing, and that gives me the space and capacity to serve my clients and to take care of
my family. When I think about the legacy I want to leave, that’s what matters.
Lindsay: Yes. Oh, I’ve just got to take that one in because it’s so true. There are so many
moments of you owning your power in that and standing. You were getting so many job
opportunities because that’s what happens a lot when you start to own your power and
you’re in your authenticity, people are attracted to that, they want even more of you. It’s
almost like the universe’s way of like, “Kristin, you sure? You sure? Look at all this ‘safety
and security’ over here,” and you kept saying no.
I think what’s cool too is that where you’re at now as a coach is you’re in the realm where
you’re a partner with doctors a lot. There’s this whole doctor mentality of like, “Oh, a
doctor.” You’re in that arena. That, to me, is like, “She’s totally owning her power,”
especially as a coach when some people do the eye roll with coaches. Allowing doctors to
see that in you is, again, just showing how much growth you’ve had. It’s beautiful.
Kristin: Yes. It’s nice to hear because that still is– I’m now aware and can recognize the
imposter syndrome of, “Oh gosh, they have like 18 letters after their name and how much
education,” but I also know that they are made to do what they do and they are fantastic at
it. Not that it’s a box but my skills are a different box. I just really believe that everything
that’s happened in my life has brought me to exactly where I am right now. I no longer
have any expectation of timing, I just believe it’ll happen when it’s meant to happen. I
wish I had that belief when I was going through infertility, but I lived and learned.
Lindsay: Now you give that to your clients.
Kristin: I do. Oh, I do. Yes. I’m so flattered to be able to work with these doctors and have
earned their trust because I do respect them so much. That feeling is mutual. That’s a very
cool thing. I think you’re right, if I didn’t believe in myself enough, like I said, to the point
of it’s in my blood that I was made to do this, I would be challenged and not show up in
that arena. I’m there and I’m ready and working together. Me and the doctors working
together, it’s just the end of the day we want to help the same people, we’re just doing it
from different ways. When we do it together, it’s so much better for everybody involved.
Lindsay: Yes. Two, that you can just step in that room. That’s why we say a lot of times
coaching opens up so many doors because you’re like, “I own myself. I know who I am,”
versus before. I remember we had a couple of conversations, it’s like, “Oh my gosh, Lindsay,
this opportunity, and I don’t know.” I’m like, “Come on, Kristin.” Now you just own it, which
is so beautiful. I know we’re not going to talk specific numbers with your business, but can
you just tell everybody the general idea of your gross?
Kristin: For sure. When we first started talking, I had one client. [chuckles]
Lindsay: Oh my gosh, I didn’t know that.
Kristin: Now I have 11 and a waitlist and a program. My business has grown six times, and
I have made more this year in the past four months, or five months now, than I did all of
the year prior. Just major growth.
Lindsay: Would you say you’re a lot better coach now?
Kristin: I don’t know the strong enough word to say yes. I am a better me and I am a better
coach because of everything I’ve been through, but the growth trajectory from August to
now has been so much higher because of your help and assistance to get me to where I am
right now.
Lindsay: I just think about there are certain times of the coaching process where I knew I
was really challenging you, and then the back of my mind, I was like, “She’s got to do this
for her she can do it for her clients.”
Kristin: Oh, yes.
Lindsay: Do you meet those challenges? Because there were times when I was like,
“Kristin, you’ve got to look at your thoughts.” There were a lot of conversations about that,
and you’re like, “I just don’t get it.” I was like, “No.” I held the boundary and then it finally
clicked. It was beautiful to watch, so fun.
Kristin: Yes, it’s hard. I felt like I wasn’t necessarily a good coaching student. It’s actually
really nice to hear that you think I was so coachable. That’s probably me just being really
hard on myself, but you had me slow down, which I hate, but it was so I could speed up. If
you told me that in the beginning, I probably would not have signed up and been excited,
but it’s exactly what I needed to do and because of that I was able to give myself the time
to work on my thoughts and to feel the feelings, and because of all of it, I have so much
more to give to my clients.
Lindsay: Yes. It goes back to your Enneagram 3 wing, where it’s like achieve, achieve,
achieve. Again, it goes back to you, Kristin, you trusting me and the process enough to be
like, “Kristin, we’ve got to slow down. We’ve got to slow down where that 3 wing of you is
like ‘I can’t do it.'” [chuckles] I’m just so glad you did because many 3s or 3 wings, it’s like
everything in their body. Thank you for doing that, Kristin. I know it’s uncomfortable.
Kristin: Thank you for holding the boundary and showing me that way.
Lindsay: You’re welcome.
Kristin: Literally changed my life.
Lindsay: Oh, I’m so glad I’ve had you. Last question.
Kristin: Okay.
Lindsay: You always get the tears going.
Kristin: I know.
Lindsay: When I asked you on the consult what would make this the best investment ever,
here’s what you said, “I want to know how to maximize my time.” Do you feel like you’ve
done that?
Kristin: Yes.
Lindsay: “I want all my effort going to the right things. Do you feel like you’ve done that?
Kristin: Yes.
Lindsay: “I want to see the big vision to know what to do today.”
Kristin: Yes. I think that more to me now the way I see that is that I’m working on the
things that matter and get me closer to what I want to do versus the shiny object
syndrome and this thing and this thing or this thing.
Lindsay: You want to feel planned, strategic, and peaceful.
Kristin: Yes. I’m getting closer.
Lindsay: You’re getting closer. That’s how I would define it too because even the first few
weeks there was a little shiny object syndrome, and I was like, “Let’s shut that down but
you’re getting there.” Yes, that’s it. That’s going to be a work in progress, for sure, but me
and Kristin, I can’t even believe we’re having this call today. We said that before Kristin: Why?
Lindsay: -we started recording. Because it’s like this went by fast. I almost just want to
rewind and do it all again.
Kristin: I do. I feel that way too. [laughs]
Lindsay: It’s like, “Oh, man,” but thank you for trusting me. Thanks for doing this. Thanks
for sharing your story today. Can you share with the listeners all about where they can find
you and specifically what you do to help women going through infertility?
Kristin: Yes. I’m most active on Instagram and my name, I know it’s a long one, but it’s
Kristin Dillensnyder. We’ll just let Lindsay put it in the show notes [laughs] versus me
spelling it out. I help women going through infertility handle the emotional rollercoaster
and not go through the process alone. I offer a monthly infertility workshop and support
group that’s totally free for anybody to join. That’s where I bring a guest expert or the
doctors to come in. I’d love if anybody’s listening in to check in to one of those. I also do
one-on-one coaching and I have a waitlist, I’d love to get you on it.
I just started a program called More Than My Infertility. You can get the support you need
at the stage you’re in and get the benefits of coaching but not necessarily at the price of
the one-on-one coaching and get some training along the way to learn how to grow your
belief and bring your joy back on the journey through infertility. That’s what I do now
when I’m not spending time with my family is all things to help women going through
infertility.
Lindsay: We have another episode where Kristin talked more about it. As we said, we
recorded it two years ago, but I’ll link it in the show notes if you want to hear her infertility
journey and even more about how she helps women. Of course, she’s evolved since then,
but I love that episode. That episode allowed me to really understand infertility, Kristin. I
think everyone needs to listen to it because even if it’s an issue you don’t go through, to be
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able to support women that do, it just makes you a better human. I know you agree, for
sure.
Kristin: Oh, absolutely. I’m so glad you did that because that’s one of the other things I do
is I just try and talk to people who want to learn about it because you know one in eight
people go through infertility, you know somebody in your life, whether they’ve told you or
not. If that’s the way I can help another infertility sister out is by letting her co-worker
understand how to support her better, awesome.
Lindsay: Yes, so good. Thank you, Kristin
.
Kristin: Thank you for everything, really.
[music]
Hey there, Miss Unstoppable. Thanks so much for tuning into this episode. If you enjoyed
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