“When you take care of yourself you’re going to open your energy up to taking in abundance. You’re going to connect more with people, you’re going to give better service to people. No matter what you do in life, it’s just going to feel fun.”
Do you ever have those moments when something great happens, but then something else starts to fall apart?
Like you get a fantastic job opportunity, but then your anxiety creeps in out of no where. Or, your personal life is taking off, but suddenly your career is at a standstill. Or, your kids are thriving, but your marriage starts to feel tough.
Some people say the wave of good followed by bad happens because “it’s the yin and yang of life.” It’s just the way life works. When something goes great, the shoe will drop, and something will go wrong to balance it all out.
I disagree with this belief.
The reason why we start to thrive in one area of life, but something else falls apart is because for many of us unless our brains are trained, we can only accept so much abundance.
Our brain likes to stay safe within the confines of its “normal” way of being. When we leave the walls of what’s normal (even if it feels good), we can naturally self-sabotage to bring us back down to its typical state.
I know all too well how this can happen, because, my friend…I’ve been the QUEEN of self-sabotage at times in my life.
I did things like attract my crush in school only to then act like a witch toward him because I was in too much shock that he liked me.
In college, I was the “golden girl” of my sorority slated to be President my Senior year, only to sabotage it all by gossiping about members behind their backs so much so that I was blackballed and felt forced to quit.
Even now, things are GREAT in my life. I have the career I’ve always wanted, the family I’ve dreamed of, and financial abundance that’s in the top 1% of my age range.
I’ve done a lot of work to get to this place for sure, but I STILL find instances where I’m blocking abundance with self-sabotage. Luckily, now I’m aware of these self-sabotaging/abundance blocking patterns and know ways on how to overcome these blocks before it turns into problems.
Learning how to spot these self-sabotaging patterns was what changed the game for me and I’m hoping it’s a game-changer for you!
So, I’m sharing my top tips on today’s Become An Unstoppable Woman podcast episode.
IN THIS EPISODE, I SPECIFICALLY TALK ABOUT:
- The six ways you could be blocking yourself from accepting abundance
- How to spot these self-sabotaging behaviors
- The proven tools to start to fix it
Be sure to listen to the episode via the link at the top of this page!
RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
→ Continue the conversation in my free online community
→ Get The 4-Day Accomplish Your Dreams Free Training
Full Transcript:
Episode 16: ACCEPTING ABUNDANCE
This is the Become an Unstoppable Woman podcast with Lindsay Preston Episode 16, Accepting Abundance.
[music]
Welcome to the Become an Unstoppable Woman podcast, the show for goal-getting, fear-facing women for kicking ass by creating change. I’m your host, Lindsay Preston. I’m a wife, mom of two, and a multi-certified life coach to women all over the world. I’ve lived through enough in life to know that easier doesn’t always equate to better. We can’t fear the fire, we must learn to become it. On this show, I’ll teach you how to do just that. Join me as I challenge you to become even more of the strong, resilient, and powerful woman you were meant to be. Let’s do this.
[music]
Hi there, my friend. Welcome or welcome back to the show. I’m so excited to have you here today. It took me a while to figure out what it was I was going to talk about on today’s episode. There were so many different topics I wanted to cover, but it kept coming back to abundance, abundance, talk to them about abundance, Lindsay. When I get those messages, I know that’s where I need to go.
Now if I sound a little different today, I am recording from my local library in one of the study rooms on a Saturday, the day before the podcast is to be released. It has been a crazy few weeks around here. The only way I was going to get this done was to go to the library, put my head down, and do it. I’ve already tested some sound things. I know it sounds a little different. It sounds probably like I’m in a bigger room. Normally, I actually record in my master bedroom closet to get the best sound quality possible.
Today, I’m getting it done. You might need to turn me up a little bit, and the levels may not be perfect, but I promise you this content today is amazing and incredible and you will want to listen. All right. Let’s talk about Accepting Abundance. First off, why did I feel called to do this episode?
I have been working a lot in my own life about accepting abundance. Things are really good in my life. Like, so good, I don’t even know where to go from here kind of thing.
I’ve talked about it a couple of times on the show, I recently had a birthday. I turned 35. For some reason, it felt like a milestone birthday. I think it did because when I was about 24, 25, I was looking at my life, it felt like a complete hot mess. Like I’d totally gone off the train that I was going on of what society told me to do. That was about the age I had my daughter, I wasn’t married. I was feeling really incomplete in my career. I ended up leaving HR and closing my dance studio a few years after that.
Again, it was like, my life is in shambles and then I ended up having a divorce with her dad by the time I was 28. Things were getting real bad, real nasty. Even though at 25 I had this intention of, “Okay, things are going off track, but I am going to figure out what it is that makes life amazing.”
I had these ideas of things like find my ideal career, have my dream family, feel these certain emotions. Instead of feeling stuck in my emotions all the time, heal some of those past pain, start to create some financial abundance. I had all of those things and now at 35, I have them.
I think, “Where do I go from here?” It feels really weird and feels really, really crazy because at some point it just felt like it was going to be so far away and it wasn’t. I really have coaching to thank for that. No joke. Even if I wasn’t a coach, I would be saying that. Anyways, I’m at a place now, life is really good. I’m looking around thinking, “What’s next? What is it that I want to create in the next 10 years?” When I sit down and think about what it is I want to create, it happens. Where are we going to go from here?
From that, I’m taking in a lot of the abundance and some of that, to be honest with you is financial abundance. My business this past year, I went in saying, “Okay, I just want to create some momentum again.” I had taken a year off with my son and even the year before that, I was getting married and stuff. I didn’t feel completely in my business all the way. It felt like I had taken two years off. If you’ve heard other podcasts, I’ve said that. “Oh, I took two years off,” but really on the calendar, it was one year, but two years feels like mentally. All right.
This past year I said, “I’m going to go in and just create opportunity again and dig myself out of a financial hole of not working because I created some debt from that. I paid that off within a few months, and then from that, things have just blown up bigger than I thought. Now it’s not like huge big up blow up. I’m not making six, seven figures like all these other people like to say, but I have a really great work-life balance.
I work maybe 20 hours a week and I make more money than I ever made in a corporate job. That’s not just bringing in money, that’s money I’m taking as my salary money. Overall, I’m pretty darn happy with that. If it gets bigger and when it gets bigger, great, but again, 24, 25-year-old Lindsay is like, “You are an incredible woman. How did you do this?”
With that, let me get to my point here, so much great abundance is coming my way. Even this past weekend I traveled to San Antonio, Texas which is just a few hours for me, but it was the first time I really traveled for my work and I got to go and lead one of my Strengths Soirées workshops to some incredible women with the women’s group there called Florecer Femme. The leader of that group, her name is Hannah. She was a dream to work with, just so professional, so giving, so put together, it was just like my dream partnership.
What was so interesting is after that great event, I started to find myself blocking abundance, and I’ve been starting to find myself blocking abundance in other ways of my life. I’ve mentioned a couple of times in this show that my husband and I have had some little tiffs lately, which has been out of character for us. I’m starting to find that it’s not his fault per se, it’s mine because I’m creating crap out of nowhere. Again, I’m trying to block abundance because my brain doesn’t know what life is like here in this crazy awesome world.
I want to talk to you about it today and ways that you could be blocking abundance because no matter if you’re in a journey where life is really crappy right now to where life is really great, it’s likely you’re blocking abundance in some way. It’s something you need to be aware of and something that I want to teach you how to overcome.
These are some of the things that I’m doing or have done. I’m even working with a group of clients right now, I’m having them read a book called the Big Leap by Gay Hendricks, which is one of my favorite books of all time. Go get it. It’s great. It’s a quick and easy read. Then he talks about something he calls Upper Limit Problems and how when something great happens to us, it throws off our energy, even if it’s in a great way.
Our mind starts to feel scared of, “Ooh, this is new territory. I don’t know what to do here. I need to go back to feeling the same way I’ve always used to feel because that’s comfortable,” and so we’ll self-sabotage. For example, it could be something as little as someone gives you an amazing compliment, you have a great day at work and you get home and get in an accident on the way home and you think, “Wow, what bad luck and I just had a great day?”
Something happened recently to a client of mine. I had her go do some of the exercises they do in one of the programs, which can be very mind-blowing to do those exercises in the few hours that they do it. Afterwards, she started leaving her lunch at home, and she forgot to wear deodorant, and she just had a bad day because of that after that high. She was self-sabotaging, in essence, to get back to that feeling of feeling crappy again. Again, we’re all doing this. We’ve got to be aware of it. We’ve got to be mindful of it.
As I said, over the weekend, I have this great workshop with Florecer Femme in San Antonio, everything went well. I loved working with Hannah and it was such a high vibe. I could feel it in my body of, “Ooh, this is a lot,” because even though those workshops I’m not helping someone in the depth of changing their lives. It’s very surface level of, “Here’s your Clifton Strengths. Let’s start to change them,” because really I love the depth. That’s where I get to really make changes in someone’s life.
Many times that’s in a small group setting and I’m on the phone with somebody or even just on a video. It’s not where I’m in a room with many women at one point where they’re all high vibe achieving women, I’ve partnered with somebody who is definitely a high achieving woman, and it was just a lot for me to take in.
Afterwards, I found myself doing things like just wanting to be in my hotel room alone. I found myself wanting to watch things that brought my energy down significantly to get me back to that equal or normal or trusted, I don’t know what you want to call it. My normal state of mind. What did I have to do after the high-vibe event? I watched a flipping documentary on the Unabomber. There’s no way that I wasn’t trying to self-sabotage with that because I couldn’t take any abundance.
Luckily I’m, self-aware enough to know, “Oh my goodness, I’m blocking myself from abundance,” because I could have gone out. I could have done so many other things and just kept living the life of that abundance, but I couldn’t take it in. That was a great awareness for me to start to realize this about myself and change it.
Again, I want to teach you six ways in which you may be blocking abundance in your life and how to fix that. Let’s jump in. Number one is a very simple way and a very simple one to start to fix. That is just not accepting compliments, gifts, or any abundance heading your way. I see this so much with women especially.
Someone gives them a compliment, “Hey, you did great on that presentation.” “Oh yes, but I messed up on that one part.” “Man, you have a great rocking outfit today.” “Oh yes, but look at my butt.” [chuckles] They just compliment something and for whatever reason, they can’t take it, they have to find the criticism in it. I used to be so guilty of this. I will tell you, I’m so guilty of this, but here’s what I’ve done to shift it. Someone sends something amazing my way, I just say thank you. “Thank you.”
Even if in my head, I think, “Oh, yes, but I messed with the PowerPoint.” I just say thank you. Usually, I take a deep breath with that and say, “Wow, Thank you.” Even if somebody gives me a gift, there’s so many times I’m thinking in my head, “Is this manipulative? You can’t really afford this.” Whoever the person is and what I’m feeling off of them, I let that go and I just say, “Thank you. Thank you so much for doing this.”
Otherwise, why do I need to go in there in that headspace and think about what I’m not or what the person’s trying to get from me or whatever that is? Let it go. Just take it in. Take in. Take a deep breath to just soak it in that abundance, maybe just a little bit. If it’s something super duper big like when my husband proposed to me, I remember, he presented me with this beautiful ring. My ring I think is two-and-a-half carats. I mean, “Aah, yes.” I was like, “Whoa.”
I remember thinking in my head, “Oh, my God, there’s no way you can afford this. How did you pay for this? Did you pay for this in cash or did you pay for it in credit?” I remember just taking and say, “Lindsay, just take in the moment,” and I was just saying, “Thank you. I would love to marry you. Yes, yes. Oh, my goodness.” It took me months on end of looking at my finger and being like, “Whoa, how did this happen?” I just kept saying to myself, “Take it in.”
Some of the tips I’m going to give you today will help you go deeper with that, but just the first thing to do, take a deep breath, say thank you. Got it? Got it. Number two, a way that you can be blocking abundance is not caring for yourself with self-care. If you follow me a lot you know I’m preaching this all the time from the rooftops. Here’s the thing. I see it so much in our society they’re not promoting self-care, despite everybody in the personal development world saying, “Take self-care.”
My daughter, she goes to a Christian school, and she goes to different Christian activities here and there. We’re sort of Christians, sort of not. I love Jesus. I love the whole thing about many aspects of Christianity, and there are some that it’s just like, “Come on people,” but the core of it is very, very good. One of the things that I’m not that crazy about is always preaching, put self or others before self. I get the concept of it, but I think it’s teaching the wrong message.
That was something I was taught of others before self. “Okay, I don’t have any money, I’m going to give it to somebody else. Okay, I don’t have this, I’m going to give it t somebody else. I’m going to give more energy than I give to myself.” What happened is that I was getting used, I was exhausted, I was broke, so many things. It shifted when my coach taught me, “We’ve got to start taking self-care, Lindsay. You’ve got to start taking care of yourself.”
At that point, I was sober now, I had just gotten a divorce, all that stuff. I started to buy into it little by little, one hour a week of just taking time for myself, up until I worked up to about eight hours per week. Let me tell you, it rocks my world. I will tell you, many of the clients that I work with, I teach them all these amazing tools for success. I probably I would guesstimate 25% to 30% of them say, Lindsay, the number one thing you taught me was taking self-care, and I finally prioritized taking it, and that was the thing that allowed everything else to fall into place.”
Taking self-care, oh my gosh. You want to do things that are filling you up. It doesn’t have to be where you have to stop everything in your life to fill up your bucket. It’s just saying, “Hey, I’m going to be a priority too.” I’ll give you some examples of how I do this. I’m a busy mom, I’ve got two kiddos, I’ve got a business I’m running and everything else going on. If I’m in the car, and I drive my daughter to activities all day long, 9 times out of 10 I’m listening to music that fills me up or a podcast because those are things that are filling my bucket.
If I’m making dinner, I may be drinking a little wine, maybe having some music on. Again, filling my bucket. At the end of the day, before I’m connecting with my husband at night, we are talking or whatever. I am taking a bath, filling my bucket because I got to take a bath anyway. I might as well fill my bucket and do things simultaneously that will give me self-care. It doesn’t mean I have to stop everything at all times and say, “Whoa, look at me.” It is something I have to get in otherwise I’m not able to give.
I am at such a better place now to be able to give so much more because I take care of myself. I really am living out what I consider these spiritual or Christian principles of putting others before myself, in that it’s meant to say, “Hey, give and give and give,” but I give to myself actually first so that I can be a better servant to God, Jesus, the universe, whatever you want to call it. I say take that self-care, my friend. I will tell you, this happened recently in my life, of witnessing it from somebody else.
I went to San Antonio, and I went to a blowout bar the night before because I wanted my hair to look great. I was so excited about the experience. Here I am, I have this amazing event the next day. Typically, when you go to a blowout bar if you’ve been to one, it’s a really fun thing. Most people in there are celebrating something or doing something fun. You get some champagne, and you watch something, and it’s a great thing.
When I went in my stylist had been working, I overheard her saying since 9:00 AM, it was now 7:00 PM. She was tired, and I get it, blow-drying hair and doing hair all day, it’s not the easiest thing. You’re on your feet all day. It’s hard work. I get that. She was just in the worst of the worst moods, and I knew that it was probably because of self-care, and some other things she may have going on.
At the same time, I deserved an amazing experience. I ended up not leaving her as big of a tip as I would typically. Now, she got a great tip, but she wasn’t going to get an amazing tip. Instead of going on Yelp and leaving an amazing review of what I do when I get great customer service, I actually left a real crappy review because I was that mad about it. Instead of her getting amazing abundance off of me, she got little to none if not it took away from her bucket.
Where are you doing that in life? Where are you not showing up the best? I catch myself all the time when I’m really tired. I’m not able to take in the abundance of my kids. My daughter says, “Mommy, come cuddle with me.” I’m like, “Isabel, I really can’t cuddle right now. Mommy is so tired.” I’m blocking that abundance of those precious few years I have left with her before she’s a full-blown teenager. She’s nine right now or almost nine.
When I’m not taking enough self-care, that’s what happens, and you too.
Take that self-care, my friend, take care of yourself because then you’re going to open your energy up to taking in abundance. You’re going to connect more with people, you’re going to give better service to people. No matter what you do in life, it’s just going to feel fun. Please, take it, please, please, please. Pretty please. [chuckles] That was number two of a way you may be blocking abundance.
Number three is not living in alignment with what I call your puzzle. Your puzzle is something I teach heavily in my course called Become Authentically Awesome. I don’t talk about this course that often because it’s invitation only and it’s only for my most advanced clients who get through my Becoming an Unstoppable Woman course. Most of them do get through that course and then they go on to this other course. Again, I don’t talk about it publicly because you can’t just join it until you do Unstoppable Woman.
In that course, we talk about this thing called your puzzle. Your puzzle are all the pieces of who you are that make you amazing and special. Things like your strengths, your values, your purpose, your passions, your way of thinking, your legacy, your admiration. I’m trying to think of all of them. It’s all these pieces that come together. When you look at all your pieces and you see the patterns of it, it slaps you in the face of, “Whoa, this is who I am. This is what I’m meant to do in the world. This is who I’m meant to be.”
When I did that on my own because this is something I created. It’s only proprietary to me doing this puzzle thing. Of course, the assessments aren’t, but the puzzle is. It was mind-blowing. From that, from that puzzle exercise, I’ve gotten to go live in my puzzle of what makes me, me, and what I’m here to do in the world and so have many of my clients.
When you’re living in that space where things feel really good, you love what you’re doing, you’re in your strengths, people get that off that sometimes of, “Wow, how are they so great?” I’m not saying people get that off me. I’m sorry if you’re hearing a car in the background. Anyways, I don’t think that’s the same people get off of me, I would hope some people do.
I know when people are really really high performing, get to that really high level, they do get that. Then abundance just starts flooding, flooding, flooding their way of all these opportunities, all this financial abundance, people are just loving them. In the personal development space, this is happening right now for Rachel Hollis. Two, I believe number-one New York Times bestsellers. She’s having sold-out events. People are just talking about her like crazy.
I think Rachel Hollis is great, don’t get me wrong, but I’m just like, “This is just a girl living in her puzzle. I can see all the pieces of her puzzle. I can see like her Enneagram three. I can see this. I can see that. She’s just figuring out a way that makes it work for her, and people are trying to be Rachel Hollis now. It’s like, “No, no, no, you can’t be Rachel Hollis. Rachel Hollis has figured out her puzzle. You got to figure out yours, my friend. You got to figure out yours.”
The first thing if you don’t know anything about yourself is– One of my favorite assessments is called the Clifton Strengths. Go take that assessment. It’s only $19.99, to get your top five. You can find the information about your results online, or you can come to me. I have a course where I’ll teach you all about it. You can do a one-on-one call with me, while I teach you even more about it, and I can get you on that road if you just want to learn about your Clifton Strengths. If you want to know more about your puzzle, come start to take the coaching process with me.
I always say it, but the first step is to go take my free coaching assessment to see if we’re even right to fit together. It’s Lindsay L-I-N-D-S-A-Y-E preston.com/assessment. Go do that, and we can start to figure out what it is that makes you amazing and special. Now the reason I don’t just teach people their puzzle right out of the gates is leading me into my next block which is a way you’re blocking abundance, and that is not finding and releasing your mental blocks.
Because I don’t teach the puzzle right out the gate is because people have too many mental blocks, even if they had done work with somebody else, because they have to do the work with me to get to the abundance of the puzzle. I know it’s weird. I promise it’s not a marketing ploy. It’s really that–
I’ve tried to do it. I’ve tried to teach people their puzzle on all-about-you-calls, and I sense and what I find, so I’ll follow up with those people and I’m like, “Okay, you know the stuff, are you doing it?” “No.” “Are you out there rocking the world?” “No, I really want to Lindsay, but it’s just like, all this stuff is happening or those–” I’m like, “Oh, my gosh, my friend, you have so many mental mind blocks.” [chuckles] What happens with mental mind blocks it’s just our brain has programmed things in our mind that have caused us to not be able to go out there and get abundance.
I’ll give you an example in my own life is I was attracting the same kind of guy over and over and over again. Didn’t really see it until later down the road. Here’s why, I found it later when I went into coaching, and it’s something so simple and so little that happened. In middle school, and I give this example a lot, so if you’ve heard it, I’m sorry.
In middle school, once in seventh or eighth grade, all the girls are hitting puberty, I wasn’t, and it was obvious that I was flat-chested and I thought nobody noticed it, but one day, one of the popular boys on the bus said, “Lindsay, you’re as flat as a board.” I felt like everyone was staring at me and laughing. From that, I gained these beliefs, blocks, whatever you want to call them of, “I’m not beautiful, boys only like curvy girls. I’m not worthy, all of those things.”
From that, because I hadn’t started to date yet, I thought boys don’t like me, boys don’t want to be around me, I’m not beautiful. Even if somebody liked me in return that I liked, I still sabotage that. I was like, “Oh, no, no, no, no,” but I believe that boys don’t like me. Even if he does, I’m going to do some really nasty things, and I wasn’t doing this on a conscious level, but I’m going to do these things, and then he won’t like me anymore. That will prove true my belief that has been wired in my brain.
When I just found that one pattern, that one instance and how I had created that, it was mind-blowing. Imagine doing that with so many other things and ways you’re blocking abundance? It rocked my world and it could rock your world too. It rocks my client’s world. “Oh, my gosh, that’s why I’ve been stuck in my career. Oh, my gosh, that’s why I’ve been doing dah, dah, dah, dah.” Yes, it’s the mental mind blocks.
I’ll give you another example. My husband, he grew up basically on the poverty line for a good portion of his life, and yet he is somebody who is highly financially successful, not only for himself, but he is a wealth manager for a firm, and he works with people who have $500,000 or more to invest. I can’t give you the name of it, because I’m not allowed to go into all that. Yes, he’s doing very well financially and it would not make sense for him to be in the place that he is at.
He, in essence, did a lot of work, personal development work just naturally on his own to be able to break some of those barriers of not being the next generation to be on the poverty line or around that or even just broke. He’s what I consider highly financially successful now, but he was still blocking himself. The way he was is when we got together and he really started to look at our finances and things, he kept saying to me, “I want to be able to be financially independent by the time I’m 50,” meaning I could retire at any moment and do whatever I want to do.
Well, at this point, he’s 38, 39 and it was not looking like he was going to hit that. I said, “You have had this dream since your 20s. You knew going into this, this is what you wanted and it’s not happening, and why not? You’re making the money.” He’s like, “Well, you know, all these things come up. We have to go take this or go buy this or go down–” I’m like, “No, no, no, no, we don’t need any of those things at all. You don’t need to be giving us those things. We need to make your dreams happen.”
In essence, what he was doing is he was blocking himself from that abundance, by making some pattern or block in his brain, that his worth came from what he gave us, and I was like, “No, babe, we’ve got to change this. In the past few years, what we’ve done is we’ve gotten really clear on what our budgets are, or if you’ve heard the other Cleansing Your Money podcast episode with Ashley, she talks about your happiness allocations instead of a budget. Anyways, we have those and we stick with those.
From those past few years, we have tripled our net worth, and now we’re at a place where he’s going to likely be able to do that at 50 if he wants to. He’s 42 now, that’s in eight years. We’re not talking like we tripled our net worth by hundreds or thousands of dollars. Hundreds of thousands of dollars here, we have created just by me spotting that pattern in him and saying, “No, we’re not going to do that anymore, babe. I love you too much. We’re going to make this happen.”
Yes, we’ve had sacrifices. We haven’t had a vacation in three flipping years to make this happen. That was a very conscious choice on our part of, “This is really important to you, we’re going to make this happen. You don’t need to give us vacations. We are willing to sacrifice this for you.” Now we’re at a place where we can do the vacations again and save the money, and we don’t just do little vacations. We’re doing like going to Disney World, staying at the nicest place, doing the crazy awesome things.
That’s where again it’s like, “Whoo, wow, look at this abundance,” but we had to work up to that. I just want to tell you these stories to hopefully inspire you because sometimes I do feel like I’m bragging a little bit and thinking, “Oh gosh, I hope I don’t come off as not relatable. I want you to remember, he came from a poverty situation. I never had to come from that, but I certainly did not have a lot of money just five, six years ago.
I was bringing in a part-time job with only $1300 a month, and then I was getting about that in child support, and my mortgage is about $1300 a month. I was living off of $1300 a month. Now some of you may be like, “Wow, Lindsay, that’s actually more than what we’re making now.” Some of you may be like, “Holy crap, how’d you do that?” Everything in some perspective, but for me, that was hard, that was really, really hard. I had nothing in savings. I had debt from starting my business. Things can change and things can change fast when you allow yourself that abundance.
Even sometimes in my mind, I think, “Well, Lindsay, most of that financial abundance that’s coming your way has been because of Jason because he does make really great money,” but then I had to back myself up and say, “No, you had some abundance coming into this. You’re the one with the house and everything else you brought to the table. Also, you’re the one that is making his dreams happen.” Taking a side tangent there, going back to looking at mental mind blocks, what is it that’s causing you to not get what you want?
I have clients all the time. Let’s say after they work with me in my becoming an unstoppable woman course, which is all about finding release in your mind blocks of, “Lindsay, I’m making more money. Lindsay, my relationship is better. Lindsay, this–” I’m like, “Yes,” because we figured out the crap that was holding you back from not getting the abundance. Please, my God, please, go do some mental mindset work. If it’s not with me, do it somewhere, but this is just part of our human brain to go and do this stuff.
Many people think, “Well, oh, it’s just for people who are “messed up” or don’t have a great life.” No, everybody needs to go do this work because our brains are not forming as children in a way that’s logical. Our emotional part of our brain, our medulla is growing fast and quickly. Our thinking brain is not, and so we build all these things and beliefs in there that just don’t make sense and hold us back when they don’t need us to hold us back. Getting off my soapbox there, but that is about number four, those mental mind blocks. That’s what’s blocking you from abundance.
Next one that I’m going to talk about goes off of mental mind blocks and then it’s one of the biggest mental mind blocks I see, and that is not feeling worthy. Not feeling like you’re worthy or deserving of the abundance coming your way. It goes back to like the compliment thing or accepting the gifts of then pushing them away or self-sabotaging, so it evens out your mentality. I am the queen of this, I must admit.
When I got married to my husband, as I said, he gave me this really great ring and [00:29:51] knowing that, but our dating experience was just exceptional. It was really great. He planned really great dates for us. He just treated me so well, and he still does in so many ways. It was a lot for me to take in from the crap that I had before of dating narcissists after narcissists.
When we’re getting married, we’re planning our wedding, we’re planning our honeymoon, and we decided we were going to splurge, we were going to go to Bora Bora, stay in the Four Seasons, do it right. It was crazy for me to take that in of, “Whoa, how have I done this.” I have never in my life had an experience like that before. It just blew my mind. I found myself instead of celebrating it, laying in bed and feeling depressed. Feeling like when I was going and planning different wedding things, or doing things, it was just I felt so grouchy.
At the end of the day, I had to do some internal work to really figure out that I didn’t feel deserving of that. A lot of that was my brain was playing, “Well, you think you’re so deserving but remember that one time when you were mean to that cat?” I’m talking little crazy stuff. “Remember in college when you were mean to that girl?” Or, “Do you remember this? You’re not worthy and deserving of this.” It’s that negative inner voice or inner mean girl. I had to go in and figure that out and change it.
Something that really helps me, and I’m going to suggest if this is something you’re going through, it’s not only to hire somebody to help you see your mind and find these books of course, but to write out your dream life. If you’re just so far away from your dream life or if you’re close to it, this exercise is always great. Write down what it is you want because that’s in essence what I did when I was 24, 25. What is it that I really, really want?
Then I had to start to say, “I’m worthy and deserving of this and more. I am worthy and deserving of this and more.”
I would get the mental picture of what it is I wanted. I want my family to be like this. I want to feel like this. I want to have a job that makes me feel like this. I just don’t want to feel these things anymore about my past. That’s what I’ve created. Again, sometimes it’s just a mental thing. Our brain needs to know what it is we want and will start to attract what it is in our life to get that. It’s called manifesting or law of attraction, whatever you want to call it.
It really is too just a scientific thing. Make clear what it is you want to your brain, and your brain says, “Okay, I will go do it,” but you’ve got to feel like you’re worthy in the process. Do that activity, it really helps. On our last thing of a way that you could be blocking your abundance. That goes back to another mental mindset block I see a lot, and that’s just not feeling safe, accepted or loved. You feel like you have to shy away from your abundance.
I’ll give you an example here of how it may have shown up in your life. This happens a lot of times when people have been hurt in the past, we’ve all been hurt in either big ways or little ways. One example I was just talking to my daughter about, she was saying one of her friends doesn’t go to her school anymore and she was recounting a story with her. She said, “You remember that one time when we saw him here, and then I had a sleepover with one of them and the other one said to me well, because you had a sleepover with her, then I’m having a sleepover with her now.”
Granted, they’re second and third grade, that’s just little kid stuff. It was weird to me too, that some of the stuff has been coming up already with that age group, it seems awfully young. I told my daughter, I said, “We don’t play that game with our friends. It’s unfortunate she played that with you, but we don’t have competitions or we don’t put one another down or make others feel bad for their blessings or their joys.” Then I went off and I said, “Isabella, I hear from a lot of women and I help a lot of women grow and change but we have to look at too in how we’re blocking ourselves.
Granted, that’s a natural biological thing that we want to be in competition with other females because that goes back to wanting the best partner for our kids. We’re bigger than that now, and it’s not okay anymore to critique and put down other women because we’re filling our brain with that crap instead of filling our brain with, ‘Hey, how can I cheer her on? How can I be more successful? How can I get more information to get what I want in life?'” I said, “Men do that pretty well. They’re really good at cheering each other on and not being consumed with petty drama.”
I caught myself and I thought, “Whoa, I need to put that on the podcast.” How many of us have had a shining moment and somebody has put us down? Either a friend, a mother. My mom feels like, ah. Maybe it was a male too. We get those messages, and then we think, “Oh, it’s not safe to do that. Oh, I’m not loved if I do that. I’m not going to be accepted.” Yes, so then we block it. What we’ve got to do is a technique I’m actually taking from a book I read recently. I’m going to tell you this book name is a little grotesque, I hope you don’t have kids around. It’s called Pussy.
I’m not crazy about the name, to be honest with you, but the content in it was great. One of the things she said in there is about bragging. To start to brag, especially as women. We need to just own our greatness and say, “I brag that I have great hair. I brag that I just gave an incredible presentation. I brag that I partnered with somebody on a workshop recently, and it went great.”
All those things that start coming out of your mouth, and even if you don’t want to say it to other people, say it in your journal. “I brag that I did dah, dah, dah. I brag dah, dah, dah.” That is going to increase your confidence and allow you to create some safety. Now, this isn’t stuff you want to give to everybody, people who are not in the right headspace to be able to accept that. I am in a Facebook group with Julia Wells, you may remember her from Episode Five, I believe of the show called Own your Power. She really talks about bragging in there. We all brag.
There’s a lot of coaches, and you don’t have to be a coach to join. I recently went in there and I bragged and I said, “My podcast right now is number 68 on the self-help charts in the US.” It’s had a 400 and I think 35 number jump in the past week because I’m getting a momentum in my business. I brag that that’s awesome.
You know how powerful that felt for me to not only take in that abundance but then open up the doors to getting more abundance off of that? That was huge. I used to shy away from that and say, “Oh, I can’t share that,” Or, “Whoo, okay, well, this is going great. What else is going to drop now?” Just by doing that one little activity, I increased my availability for abundance.
Those are six ways you may block yourself from abundance. It’s really important you start to accept that abundance and when it happens or to integrate it. This is something again, I’m taking from Julia. She put recently on one of her Instagram posts, she is traveling the world right now and just going from place to place working as she goes and she’s living it up. Her coaching business is taking off as well. She is doing things like going and having nice dinner after a nice dinner at nice place after a nice place.
She says, some days, it’s just like, it’s too much, and I have to do things like step back and slow down and take it in and take in just the gratitude of it and recap to what has just happened. As I mentioned, I had that workshop last week and the same thing happened to me. Now, I did do some self-sabotage of going to my room and watching the Unabomber documentary, but at the same time, I needed some time to just integrate and slow down and take in, “Whoa, I just had a moment. That was a cool moment. I needed to just take it in.”
Same with my podcast growing this week of, “Whoo. All right, I just need to slow down and just let that simmer for a bit.” Two, get grateful in the process. I’m so grateful I have people who listen. I’m so grateful there are more people listening now. I’m so grateful I have a voice. Go into that space and you will be able to create even more abundance. Then do the things like bragging, figure out your mental mind blocks, accept those compliments, my friend, do that self-care, and you will be on the pathway to living a really abundant life.
I will say I do have some even blocks myself of talking about things like abundance. I see in the Christian world, especially with, I believe they call it like prosperity preachers and Joel Osteen is one of the big ones that people come out and attack and say, “Oh, that’s so dangerous, prosperity preaching and dah, dah, dah.” I get their point.
They talk about in the Bible of helping others and things of that sort. I think there is a balance with it of taking in your prosperity and your abundance and giving back as well. It doesn’t mean you’re a selfish person to do that. It doesn’t mean that there’s something bad or nasty about it. Again, it goes back and shakes up some of the societal beliefs of when you are thriving and doing really well and taking care of yourself and accepting abundance, that actually gives you more ability to give back.
Now, some people may not do that, and that’s on their conscience on what they do. I know I’m in a space now where I’m just thinking, “Okay, as my business continues to grow, how am I going to help people in a different way? Which parties am I going to?” Yes, I help my clients but there’s so many people who aren’t in the right headspace to work with me and they just need food or they just need an education. How am I going to help them?
I’m just going to leave that as you start to simmer about it, please, please, my friend, you accepting abundance is only going to better your life obviously, but the lives of everybody else. Take it in. Soak it in. It’s awesome. Come to this other side with me. It’s pretty fun. That’s all I have for you today. If you haven’t left a review for the show and you love this one, please go and leave a review. I always love reading that. It’s either on Apple podcasts or on Facebook are the best places to go and leave that review.
Feel free to email me if you have any questions or just want to give me feedback on this episode. Lindsay, L-I-N-D-S-A-Y @lindsaypreston.com. Next time on the show I’m going to be talking to a corporate recruiter from the Fortune 50 company, who has hired over 1000 people in her career about how to rock your resume. What stands out to a recruiter, because if you’re in a job space, you definitely want to stand out.
Even if you’re not, she’s going to give you some tips to update your resume and make it stand out for if and when you need a new positioning. You never know when that abundance is going to come your way. When a friend of a friend says, “Hey, so and so is looking for a position.” You don’t want to be in a space where you’re having to scramble around and get your resume ready. You want to have it ready to go. I’ll see you on that episode. Until then, my friends, remember, you’re only as unstoppable as you believe you can be. Believe in yourself. You got this.
0 Comments