“You can’t do big things if you’re distracted by small things.”
When people used to tell me that they cut alcohol from their lives, I’d wonder why.
I enjoyed alcohol. I thought it brought pleasure, joy and relaxation into my life.
I used to love having a few drinks and having a “wild” night of stupidity.
It brought excitement into my mundane life. It had a purpose and I enjoyed that purpose, hangovers and all.
Then, my eyes were opened to a life with little to no alcohol from clients and other coaches who were loving it. They talked about the benefits of not drinking alcohol and how much alcohol had actually held them back.
The more I listened and saw the impact of alcohol in my life, the more I realized how right they were.
I’m now at a place where I drink very little alcohol and am on a path toward never having a drink again.
This isn’t from a place that alcohol is bad or gross, I’m just outgrowing it.
The quality of my life WITHOUT alcohol is SIGNIFICANTLY better now so why would I keep turning to it?
It only holds me back.
I have some clients who shared their stories of cutting alcohol with me, and they’ve been some of my biggest inspirations toward my journey of cutting alcohol this past year.
They’re joining me on the podcast this week in hopes that they’ll give you an even better glimpse of what cutting alcohol from your life can look like. (Spoiler: It’s pretty awesome.)
JOIN ME AND MY GUESTS, JUDY EICHHORST, SHELLY CRISWELL & REBECCA FORST AS WE COVER…
- Why we decided to give up alcohol
- The benefits we gained from cutting alcohol
- The hardest part(s) about cutting alcohol
- What’s allowed us to make cutting alcohol easy
…and so much more
Listen to this episode via the link at the top of this page!
RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
→ Continue the conversation in my free online community
→ Get The 4-Day Accomplish Your Dreams Free Training
→ SHELLY’S COACHING STORY episode
CONNECT WITH THIS WEEK’S GUESTS:
→ Judy Eichhorst’s Coaching Website
→ Judy Eichhorst’s Facebook Page
Full Transcript
This is the Become an Unstoppable Woman podcast with Lindsay Preston Episode 56,
Cutting Alcohol.
[music]
Welcome to the Become an Unstoppable Woman podcast, the show for goal-getting, fearfacing women for kicking ass by creating change. I’m your host, Lindsay Preston. I’m a wife,
mom of two, and a multi-certified life coach to women all over the world. I’ve lived
through enough in life to know that easier doesn’t always equate to better. We can’t fear
the fire, we must learn to become it. On this show, I’ll teach you how to do just that. Join
me as I challenge you to become even more of the strong, resilient, and powerful woman
you were meant to be. Let’s do this.
[music]
Hi there, my friend. Welcome to another episode of the show. This episode is an
interesting one, we’re talking about cutting alcohol. I share my story about how I’ve cut
alcohol and why I’ve done it. I have a panel in essence of three clients of mine who too
have cut alcohol in this past year. Now some of us drink just like one drink on occasion.
Others of us have completely given up alcohol altogether. This episode is for you, if you’ve
ever wondered what life on the other side of alcohol is like, I used to think that people
were crazy and weird. Just like super conservative, if they didn’t have alcohol in their lives.
I thought my relationship with alcohol wasn’t that big of a deal. I would have drinks to
relax and to have fun. I just started to open my eyes more and more as to how alcohol was
impacting me, and what seems like really small ways. It ended up being much bigger ways
and what life is on the other side of that. My clients talk about their aha moments with
alcohol as well and then their transition into cutting alcohol. I know this may seem like a
really weird topic in some ways, or at least it did to me when I first started hearing other
coaches saying that they weren’t drinking anymore. I was not even turned on or turned on
is not the right word.
I wasn’t even interested in listening to those episodes. Why would anybody do that? That’s
just extreme behavior. The fact that you’re even here and listening is a step in the right
direction. I will tell you, it’s not like people who aren’t drinking or sit around judging
people who are just we’ve just decided we’re done with it. It’s like when you have a
boyfriend or a relationship, and you get some space from that person for a while and you
realize, “Oh my gosh, they’re a bit more toxic than I realized.” Then you start improving
your life even more, you’re like, “Oh, yes, that’s even more toxic than I realized.” That’s how
I deal with alcohol.
I’m interviewing three of my clients today. The first is Judy Eichhorst, Judy is also a coach,
she and I actually met, and gosh, 2014. Six years ago at this point, my goodness, in coach
training. We’ve just stayed connected ever since. We were just one of those few people
who have stayed connected in our cohort. Then the other two ladies here, one of which
was on the Unstoppable podcast already, it’s Shelly Criswell. If you haven’t heard her story
on the podcast, about her coaching journey, it’s one you definitely want to listen to. I’ll link
to it in the show notes.
She talks about how she’s lost like over 50 pounds and how she went from working all the
time to now having the freedom to make her own hours and all these amazing things that
she’s done. A little side piece of her growth with coaching was this cutting alcohol thing.
Then, Rebecca, her and I started coaching a year ago, and she just actually wrapped up
coaching with me at least actually now she’s just passively coaching with me.
Rebecca’s journey is a really fun one too. I’ve been waiting for her to bloom just a little bit
more before we share her story because her story is one where we had to do a ton of
internal work and it just seems like for a while she wasn’t getting the results she wanted.
She just kept saying, “I know that I will. I just keep digging away and digging away.” She’s
starting to cross over and get more external results, which is so fun. One of these less little
results that was unexpected with cutting alcohol.
For all these women, myself included, we didn’t go into coaching or anything in our life
saying, “Yes, I want to cut my alcohol intake,” whereas I do have some other clients that
come to me, especially with consults I’ve been getting lately. I don’t know if Corona is
bringing up stuff for people, but who are saying, my alcohol intake is a problem. I’m just
drinking more and more to a point where I’m gaining weight. I’m just starting to see that
I’m really avoiding my feelings here. That is a goal through coaching, and maybe a couple
months down the road, we’ll have them on the show and talk about it.
This interview was so much fun to record. I hope you love it, I hope you get some aha and
some insights. It just opens your mind to seeing that cutting alcohol isn’t as hard as you
think and life on the other side of it is actually way better. Who would have ever thought I
certainly would have never thought that. Enjoy this interview. All right, so I’ve got Rebecca,
Judy, and Shelly here. Today, as I said in the intro, we’re going to talk about cutting alcohol
and why all of us have cut alcohol in some sort of way in our lives, and what that has
opened up for us, and all that fun stuff.
We have a lot to cover today. I really want to give the mic to them so they can share their
stories. Then I’ll share my story after they share theirs about why I started to cut alcohol
my life because it relates to somebody else’s story along the way. That’s where we want to
go first ladies is, what was your relationship with alcohol like before coaching. Give us a
glimpse throughout the years of your life of what that looks like for you. Even if it changed
over the years because I know mine did definitely from the college years onward. Judy, I’m
going to start with you. You just share with us what that journey looks like for you.
Judy Eichhorst: Okay, well, thank you, Lindsay, for having me. Gosh, my relationship with
alcohol has been of almost like a roller coaster of stuff for me. It’s been huge for me, I
started drinking what I would consider fairly young. Certainly, before I was legally able to
do it, and alcohol started as a way of really honestly abusing it. It wasn’t a grown-up, let
me have a glass of wine with dinner kind of thing. It was drinking to get drunk. It started
young. Although it wasn’t a constant thing, by the time college came, it was and we did a
lot of binge drinking. It was terribly detrimental to those years of my life, as well as into
my 20s, really clear up until I had children at age 30.
Then it became more of a very moderate thing, but it was a constant part of my life. By the
time I was in coaching, I had really moderated my drinking down to it be in a daily habit.
There was just no getting drunk anymore. Getting drunk had gone away a long time ago. It
was still a daily habit. It was something that I did as a social thing. Go out to dinner, rather
go to a movie where you can have a beer while you watch a movie. It was a way if I had
people over, I immediately offered them some sort of a beer or told them to bring the
things they like to drink. It was just part of my life.
It was certainly something I did daily at five o’clock to transition from work to my regular
life and it had gotten really to the point where it was probably just one on some nights
too. I mean, it was very moderate, but it was every day. That was the way it was. I saw it as
a way to relax, a way to transition, a way to connect with people, and definitely a way to
numb if I’d had a hard day or something that happened that didn’t make me feel real great.
As I said very moderate amount of alcohol but still done habitually.
Lindsay: Yes. You don’t have to go there with you as tell everybody what your relationship
with alcohol is like now and what your aha moment was about your relationship with
alcohol.
Judy: Oh my goodness, it has changed so much. I mean, the first thing I can say it just feels
so good to say it is the freedom that I have broken that relationship with alcohol, it had
gotten to a place where it just was a bad relationship. If you’ve ever been in a friendship
that wasn’t healthy or a dating relationship that wasn’t healthy, and you finally break it,
and you just feel so much freedom, that is exactly what I feel from it. I realize how
addictive it is, now. I realize how the industry’s advertising has been highly misguided over
all the years, to make us see it as something that’s so– They only show the upside, they
don’t show the downside and this thing of freedom just been huge.
My aha, it’s something I wanted to do for a long time for health reasons. Being a coach
myself, it doesn’t feel real congruent to me, because I believe in having a really really
healthy lifestyle, a healthy body, a healthy mind but the real big aha was on a retreat that I
went on within the programs of coaching with you Lindsay. Being there and realizing how
angry I truly was with the people in my life when I was really young, when I was in high
school, college, my 20s. Angry with the people that didn’t help me, that didn’t sit me down
and intervene because there were so many bad decisions made in my life because of
alcohol.
Relationships that weren’t healthy for me, including marriages. I just noticed how angry I
was with those people and how sad I felt for my younger self who sometimes would speak
up and say, “I think alcohol is a real problem for me,” and everybody that kept saying to
me, “No, no you’re fine there’s so much people that drink so much more.”
“You’re fine, you’re making a big deal out of this.” I just sat there I can remember exactly
where I was sitting last summer and I said, “Oh my gosh, I was the advocate in my son’s
life that got him clean and sober, and I’m so sad that there wasn’t somebody that did that
for me, and I’ve already done it for him.” “I could do it for me.”
I seriously did this to really heal my younger self within me and make me a stronger
woman for the rest of my life.
Lindsay: Yes, I remember that, Judy. When you came back from that weekend and you–
Because that wasn’t even on the radar at all, of alcohol and your relationship with that. We
were working on totally other things and then you came back and you said, “Lindsay
[laughs] guess what I realize, it was all related to alcohol.”
Judy: Yes.
Lindsay: You remember that?
Judy: Oh my gosh, yes.
Lindsay: I thought tell me more. Tell me all this and it just showed you how much you
were trusting yourself and how true it felt for you and that you realized in those moments
of this is something that I really need to cut in my life because where you were in your
adult life, Judy, it sounded like, almost like a healthy relationship with alcohol, that we
would perceive it as a society of, “Oh she has a couple drinks here and there, no big deal.”
Judy: Yes, I don’t think that there’d be– Well, there never was. As I said, even when I was
abusing it, there was nobody in my life that was ever saying to me, “You need to do
something about this,” and certainly by this age where I wasn’t getting drunk ever. No,
there wouldn’t be anybody that would say to me, “Gosh, that’ll be something you could
really give up, Judy, and you’d have a much better life.” There was nobody in my life
speaking that to me but my better self, my higher self, my most authentic self did not like
it and wanted it changed.
Lindsay: Yes. Then, it just seems like there was a switch that went off in you, and then it
was just done. You just cut it.
Judy: I did cut it but, I don’t know if I would say it was done, because I continued to have to
go through life without it, and I sought out some support for that. There’s some really
great challenges of not drinking for a certain amount of time out there in the world.
There’s some great books, and I found out that there was other people out in the world
that were choosing to give up alcohol for health reasons, for just being better, being their
best self. It didn’t have to just be for people that see themselves as alcoholic and so there
was support for me. There was support for me and I took that support. I took that support.
Lindsay: What opened up for you too is starting to feel all the feelings.
Judy: [laughs] Yes, and you know it’s been a year, and I still feel the feelings and
sometimes I don’t want to feel them but what a gift to give yourself. To let yourself feel
the feelings because every time I covered them up, that meant I didn’t deal with them. I
wasn’t working through them, I wasn’t really understanding them, and honestly, because I
wasn’t drinking a lot of alcohol, I thought that having the beer helped me get in touch with
my feelings more. Because I could then think about them and process them but the truth
was then I didn’t have to feel them, so it was all cerebral.
I just moved the feeling in my body to, “Oh let me have a beer and [laughs] relax my body,”
and then I’ll sit and think about it and feel better about it, but I wasn’t moving through the
feeling, and I do that now.
Lindsay: So in essence what happened is it started to snowball and all these things piled
up and that’s how we had to do things like, these two-day releases of, we have to get all
that crap out because now you can’t ignore it anymore. Whereas now Judy it sounds like
you feel it, it stinks, it doesn’t feel good, but you deal with it in the moment instead of it
snowballing.
Judy: Yes, yes, yes. Our feelings are apart of the human experience, and all these things
that we do to try to quit feeling means we are not having the full human experience, and
yes part of that stinks but there’s a reason for it. When I got brave enough to have the full
human experience, this was something that needed to go. It was the next layer. It was the
thing I needed to let go of.
Lindsay: Yes, so good, Judy. All right, thanks for sharing your first part of your story.
Judy: You’re welcome.
Lindsay: All right, Shelly, I’m going to come to you. Tell us, what was Shelly like before
coaching, and then what was the aha that changed your relationship with alcohol?
Shelly Criswell: Hey, Lindsay, thank you for having me. My journey was very similar to
Judy’s in the beginning, definitely drank before I was legally able to. It started with my
parent’s divorce, and I think just rebelling and acting out and not knowing– I didn’t have a
lot of support at home as they divorced. Nobody was there to hold me accountable and it
definitely went into my college years.
I had a very bad first marriage, went through a divorce, and then I quit once I met my
second husband, had kids– I would drink socially but not a whole lot. Then into my 30s, I
did start drinking more socially. I’m an introvert so it would help when going out, it would
help me feel more relaxed and after work, if I had a bad day, much like Judy. Not to get
drunk anymore, just more to numb my feelings or help me socially.
Lindsay: Yes, so then [giggles] like Judy when were coaching together, Shelly, alcohol
wasn’t even on the radar.
Shelly: No, not at all
Lindsay: Then I remember one session you said, “Well I’m not drinking anymore,” and I was
like, “What?” Tell me more about this. So kind of walk us through what happened there.
Shelly: Yes, just as yes– While I was coaching with you, I think it was during when we were
learning about distractions, that’s the first time I thought, “Oh [laughs] I’m using this as a
distraction,” I never saw it as anything negative at all. Then that was on my radar and then
just when I realized that I was using that to numb my feelings and to keep me from doing
things that I was a little afraid of doing. Then I really wanted to get back to being healthy
and you can’t do that when you’re drinking every day. I was like, “You know what, I’m just
going to quit.” So I just quit. [laughs]
Lindsay: Yes and that’s when you started losing a ton of weight, right?
Shelly: Yes.
Lindsay: Yes because– How much you lost what 50, 60 pounds?
Shelly: Yes, I did.
Lindsay: Yes, in a few months?
Shelly: Yes, it snowballs. Once you make that decision, you start making other better
decisions. You’re dealing with your feelings. You’re not waking up with a headache. I felt
more in control. I know Judy talked about freedom and for me, I felt a lot more in control
of everything.
Lindsay: Yes. Like you think that you’re more in control, I think by drinking in some ways.
At least this is how I viewed it, until you lose control but it’s like, “Oh, okay, well, I can
control what I’m taking in,” because then I will lose my anxiety and all that and you’re just
making it worse.
Shelly: Yes, definitely.
Lindsay: Yes, so good, Shelly. Thank you for sharing.
Shelly: Welcome.
Lindsay: All right, Rebecca, your turn. Rebecca, walk us through it, where were you before
and where are you now?
Rebecca: All right, Lindsay. Before, similar to Shelly and Judy, I had a very bad relationship
with alcohol. Early on, actually, I was one of the goody-goody, so it started when I was 18
and then I started traveling abroad and all the other countries that I went to 18 was the
legal drinking age so I didn’t feel like I was doing anything wrong. Then on my travels, I
would just drink and have fun and I came back and went to college, and binge drinking
was the norm. These all my friends all the time, sometimes I would miss classes because
you would be drinking during the weekdays.
After college, it did go down a bit because I had very active jobs more in my career field,
which is wildlife conservation. I had to be more alert and my drinking did go down.
However, I started an office job about five years ago and I just got into this habit of come
home, open the refrigerator or a glass of wine or another glass of wine or another glass of
wine. I was drinking maybe upwards of a bottle and if work was really stressful, sometimes
it would be a little more than a bottle of wine and I wasn’t getting drunk at that point, but
it was definitely very much affecting me that night in my sleep as sometimes the next
morning.
I felt like I needed it just because work was always stressing me out. It wasn’t just like,
“Oh, I’d like, glass of wine,” it’s like, ‘Oh, I need it,” and I be thinking about it while I was at
work. I’m ready just to get home and have that glass of wine and relax.
Lindsay: Again, Rebecca, you were just like everybody else where alcohol wasn’t even on
the radar, we weren’t even talking about it and then all of the day, all of a sudden one day
on a session, you’re like, “Oh yes, I’m not really drinking anymore.” I was like, “What?”
Because your husband, he works in the alcohol industry, right?
Rebecca: He does. He works at a brewery and he brings home free beer. Luckily I don’t
drink beer, but he also brings home free cider every month and so I was drinking that, and
then I was drinking my wine while he drank his beer or his whiskey and I just felt normal.
All our friends were doing that and we’d go to happy hour or we’d go to the park and take
the bottle of wine with us and then that would distract me the whole rest of the weekend
day.
Lindsay: What’s so cool about your story is we could easily have said, “Oh, we got Rebecca
out of her job that she didn’t like,” and so then, it was just so easy for her not to drink, but
you’re still in the job.
Rebecca: I am still in the job, yes.
[laughter]
Lindsay: You’re still in the uncomfortable thing, but yet, you don’t feel like you need the
alcohol anymore?
Rebecca: Absolutely, I’ve got enough control of my anxiety and issues with depression, and
just my mindset’s completely changed. I shouldn’t feel like I need it anymore or even want
it, which is amazing because it was like my number one distraction going through the
unstoppable program and even authentically awesome. Wine was number one, social
media was number two.
Lindsay: What was so interesting is when you started cutting the alcohol more and more
because it wasn’t overnight, it was like, you just kept cutting it more and more, then your
productivity on other things you really wanted to do started to go up. Is that true?
Rebecca: Oh, absolutely. Because the drinking, it would distract me in the evening and
then the next day, I wouldn’t feel so good and I’d be like, “Oh, well I don’t feel good, I’ll do
the work tomorrow.” Tomorrow never comes because it’s the same role. Once I cut it out
and I was getting better sleep, I was getting probably 10 hours of sleep before, just when I
was in a bad mindset and drinking and now I just need the seven and a half to eight hours,
I don’t need as much anymore. I’m getting up and energized and it feels great.
Lindsay: So good, Rebecca.
Rebecca: Thank you.
Lindsay: Here’s my story with it. I didn’t start drinking until college. I was about 17 and
because my parents were really strict growing up, I couldn’t get or do anything bad if I
wanted to, I just was never allowed of basically. The second I was out of the house in
college, I went crazy. That first semester I gained like 15 pounds, I was binge drinking all
the time, I just went wild. The only thing that made me really want to cut the alcohol, even
at that point was just because of the weight gain and really that was because I didn’t have
the money to buy new clothes. I was like, “Okay, this is a problem I need to just manage
this better.”
I ended up losing a little bit of weight because I ended up starting to wait tables, but still, I
was able to drink by being able to work out and stay in the clothes that I was in somewhat.
Then I just kept drinking and I just didn’t care about school and I was in a sorority and that
was just very acceptable to do that and I felt really out of place at the college I was at. The
drinking just helped me at least feel somewhat comfortable with that. Then after mid-part
of college, I just started to cut it more because I just really felt even more out of place, but
instead of numbing it with alcohol, I just started to get out of my sorority more and started
really focusing on school.
I saw the bigger picture with things. Then after that, alcohol was just there and I was like
Judy in essence, and Shelly and even Rebecca is, we just drink every once in a while and
that was just a socially acceptable thing to do. Then when I started dating my nowhusband, so I had my divorce and then when I started dating him, I just felt like so alive
and free and I wanted to be fun again and do all this fun stuff. We would have dates and
we would drink a lot. Both of him and I are uptight people and so we use alcohol as a way
to at least just kiss each other because nobody was making a move.
I remember on my 30th birthday, we went to Vegas and we just got so drunk and I woke up
the next day, just very sick and I had to go fly home. I was just so sick on the airplane and I
just decided in that moment, I am never getting drunk again, that’s the last time I’m ever
getting drunk in my entire life. I’m never doing shots again because it’s not worth it. What I
realized after that because I had already done some coaching at that point and I was in
this high vibe place is it took me at least a month to detox that amount of alcohol out of
my body.
I just felt really funky for that month and I just felt a little depressed and like out of it and I
could just see the impact of that one night and really a weekend but especially that one
night when we got really drunk, that– Because I even blacked out that night, that’s how
drunk I got. I decided then I wasn’t going to get drunk anymore, but then I just would
drink. Obviously, when I was pregnant or nursing, I didn’t, but then once I weaned my son,
gosh, it would have been early 2019, I just started picking up alcohol again and I started
drinking here and there.
Then Judy actually was around this time when she said, “Oh, Lindsay, I’m going to cut
alcohol.” And I had heard other coaches start to do it and I was like, “Well, that’s great for
them, but I’m not doing that.” “Good for you, but I’m not interested in that. I enjoy drinking
every once in a while, it’s not that big of a deal, I don’t see how it impacts me.” Then I
went on a day-date with my husband and it was a Sunday and we never go on a day-date,
but we ended up having mimosas. I had like three mimosas and then I had to come home
parents and I realized how much alcohol had impacted me because most times you drink
at night and then you sleep it off.
I felt it for the whole day and I thought, “Oh my gosh, this is what I’m doing to my body
and I’m thinking, I’m just sleeping it off, but this is impacting me way bigger than I even
ever thought.” Again, from that day forward, I was just like, “I don’t want to drink anymore.”
“This is not worth it to me, I’m not interested. I just have no desire, my dreams and my
goals are worth so much more than this.”
From there, I just don’t really drink anymore. I’ll have a drink every once in a while here
and there, but I don’t crave it, I don’t want it, it’s almost like having a random cupcake
every once in a while. It’s just completely changed, it totally threw my husband off
because he’s used to drinking basically every night, at least like a glass of wine. It’s just
totally changed my life. Judy was really the one who opened my eyes to this whole new
way of living and hearing other coaches doing it and then just starting to feel the effects
of it and I was like, “Oh my gosh, they’re on to something here.” This is a bigger deal than
when I realized because it’s so socially accepted, we just don’t question it.
Everybody has said here, it really impacts your momentum, it impacts your mood in bigger
ways than you ever think because a lot of times you’re just in it for so long that you’re not
used to being out of it and so it becomes like this warm blanket for you, you don’t know
the difference. Once you step out, and you see the difference, that’s when you start to say,
“Whoa, this is a lot bigger than what I thought.” That’s my story with alcohol, and it’s so
funny because I wanted to do this episode for a while but it was just interesting because
Judy was the first one.
To me, she was just like this huge Maverick, like, “Oh, my gosh, Judy, look at you what
you’re doing.” Then Shelly came along, she’s like, “Oh, I’m not really drinking anymore.” I’m
like, “Whoa, okay, this is like becoming a thing.” Then that’s when I started to cut it.
Rebecca came in and said, “Oh, Lindsay by the way, I’m not drinking.” I was like, “Whoa
we’re all getting out on podcast and talk about this.” Because none of us really
intentionally wanted to cut it, and we have, and now on the other side of it, it’s just like we
don’t even crave it, we don’t even want it, we see the benefits of it.
I meet with so many women on consoles who want to do coaching, and they talk about
how much alcohol they are drinking. It’s still a problem that’s out there and even when I’m
going out for mom’s night out and to things of that sort, obviously, pre-COVID, people are
looking at you and they are like, “Why aren’t you drinking, Lindsay? What’s wrong with
you?” They’re using alcohol as a way to escape things. I’m just thinking, “Gosh, if you only
knew the other side of it.” That’s why I want to do this episode today is so you can start to
see the other side of it.
Hopefully, you’re seeing that already, but I do want to ask a couple more questions from
Judy, Shelly, and Rebecca. That first question is, what would you say to someone who is
drinking often? I say often, it’s like three or more drinks a week? What would you say about
life on the other side? Rebecca, we’ll start with you this time. What would you say?
Rebecca: I’d say that it’s not as big and scary of a decision as you think it is. It’s so
ingrained in our society that you just should be drinking all the time, it’s on commercials,
people promote happy hour, it’s what you do with your friends, so giving it up seems like
this big scary thing, but once you do it, you’re not going to miss it. You’re just going to feel
like a whole new person, you’re going to be happier and healthier. Your life’s going to
change and you’re just not going to miss it.
Lindsay: Yes, I totally agree. You think you are, and really, I think what the most awkward
part is Rebecca, and maybe this is for you too, is just being around other people who drink
but then don’t get why you’re not drinking.
Rebecca: I would say so. That was one of my biggest fears. We actually did meet up with a
couple friends for the 4th of July, socially distanced, of course, and I was a bit worried
about that. I have been drinking non-alcoholic wine as a substitute for water when I do
have a little bit of a craving for some wine and everyone there was totally okay with it. I
just scraped my fake wine and they had their real alcohol and it was no big deal.
Lindsay: And you woke up the next day ready to go.
Rebecca: I did, unlike my husband who broke his foot overnight.
Lindsay: Because he was drunk?
Rebecca: Because he had been drinking and go over a fire pit and we had to take him to
the doctor the next morning. He’s been crutching around.
Lindsay: You bring up another point too, when you’re not drinking and other people are,
it’s maybe not awkward, but it’s still, I don’t know, it’s just is different.
It’s hard to describe it but it’s just different. How would you describe it, Rebecca?
Rebecca: Oh, yes, definitely it’s a new perspective to see people behaving in certain ways
that you realize you were once acting that way as well so it’s kind of eye-opening to see
who they are.
Lindsay: Would you rather be behaving in that way now, and not going after your dreams?
Because I know you’re doing a big career up level right now or vice versa.
Rebecca: I would absolutely not want to be drinking anymore. I’d rather have my dreams
and drink my fake wine.
Lindsay: And that’s what’s so funny, when you see it in that way, you’re like, “Why did I ever
do it?”
Rebecca: Absolutely. I wonder how far along I could have been right now had I not been
wasting so much time drinking.
Lindsay: Yes, but the good thing is that you’re still not doing it. Right?
Rebecca: Absolutely.
Lindsay: That’s what we have to focus on. Thanks, Rebecca. All right, Judy, let’s go to you.
Judy: Okay. Gosh, the other side of not drinking. If somebody was considering this as
something that they wanted to do, I just want you to know how much better I feel. I’ve
been somebody that suffered with headaches my whole life and being somebody who is a
bit prone to headaches, my goodness sakes to get rid of alcohol gets rid of half of the
headaches at least. Headaches are very affected by what we put in our system. Alcohol
dehydrates you and it messes with blood sugar. There’s so many different things. Gosh, I
just feel so much physically better.
The second thing is, I have a better memory. I’ve always prided myself on having a really
great memory and as I’ve gotten older, I felt like it was maybe not as keen as good as
sharp, but since I quit drinking a year ago, and when I say I quit drinking, I mean, I quit
drinking. I don’t drink any alcohol. It’s not, “Oh, occasionally I have one.” I gave it up. It’s
over. I can remember things so much better. I remember things about people, I remember
what they told me, I don’t have to check back on things as much. As somebody who works
with people on a daily basis, and several people every day as a coach, this is huge for me
to have this back of being so sharp.
Another thing I’d say is that there is support out there for you because it might not be easy,
it might not be for you. It might not be like, “Oh my gosh, I just made up my mind and I just
didn’t do it anymore.” I certainly had my moments where it was a struggle. I wanted to
drink but I didn’t want to go back to drinking. I would say that realize that there’s a lot of
support out there, that is good, and that there are books to read that help you solidify, oh
my gosh, there’s science behind this stuff of why I feel so much better and why it’s better
for me to not drink.
Gosh, I just think you’ll be amazed at giving it up over what opens up for you. With
Rebecca and Shelly talking about even time opened up for them, motivation opened up for
them, the ability to focus. These are things that I’m seeing all the time. I think this is
almost a movement that’s starting to happen of people saying, “Hey, we’ve sort of been
lied to about alcohol in our lives.” I think it’s going to start becoming more and more and
more people. I run into people all the time that are like, “I’ve been thinking about doing
this.” When I tell them I’ve done it, they’re just excited, because, “Oh my gosh, there’s
another person who did this.”
I don’t think people are realizing how many people are starting to say, “Hey, this is like a
great healthy choice to do.” It doesn’t have to be about morals, or values, or religion. It
truly is a great choice for you being your best self.
Lindsay: Judy, you have some great resources that you found. Can you share some of those?
And we’ll put them in the show notes.
Judy: Oh, sure. This Naked Mind is the best book in the world. It’s written by Annie Grace. I
could read that book over and over and over again. She really debunks a whole bunch of
the stuff that we’ve been fed, as to why alcohol is the thing to do, all the benefits of
alcohol, and how it’s just a bunch of– It’s not true. It’s not true. I would definitely
recommend that book.
She has a, I think it’s called a 28-day or maybe it’s a 30-day free no alcohol challenge. You
get emails every day and you’re in a group where other people are doing that challenge
with you, so it gives you that support where you get something every single day, have a
little bit of information, plus you can be reading your book at the same time. Then she has
things that you can pay for past that if you ever decide to. I joined a thing called one year
no beer and it’s not just for people who are beer drinkers, it’s for anybody. They’re
overseas, but again, great support.
I did the 90-day challenge when I was about 45 days in because I was just starting to go,
“Oh, am I really going to keep this up.” I joined that and did the 90 days and then I still am
in that particular group and can get support at any time I want. One good thing that in
these support structures that you see is you really do see the suffering that is going on
with people that it’s really hard for them to stop. I think in some ways that helps to see
how addictive and how– It makes me want to be all the more adamant of not just doing
this for myself but being a role model for the world.
Everybody gets to make this decision on their own but if there’s somebody that wants to
do this, I want to be a role model for them.
Lindsay: Well, and too I think it’s a big testament to coaching because some people are
like, “She just decided and then she was done and it must be so easy for them.” It’s like the
reason why it was easier for us to quit is because we dealt with all the emotions that cause
us to drink to begin with. [crosstalk] to go back when we do get triggered and be like, “This
is uncomfortable. Let me go write this out and do a little healing.”
Judy: What a great way to word it, Lindsay, is that it’s like I didn’t need this as my coping
mechanism anymore. I had learned so much and grown so much that I was ready to set
aside this coping mechanism because I did have a lot of tools that work that weren’t about
drinking alcohol. That’s a good point. I hadn’t thought of that but that’s–
Lindsay: You’re such a community person, Judy. I love how you found these communities.
Because Shelly, Rebecca, and I, Rebecca is getting to a point where she doesn’t drink at all
but Shelly and I like we have an occasional drink. There will be a point where we both cut
it cold turkey and then that’s when I think you will feel the next level of wave of like,
“Whoa, what else do I need to feel here?” Thank you, Judy, for being the example of what’s
possible.
Judy: Oh, you’re sure welcome. Thanks.
Lindsay: You’re welcome. Shelly, let’s hear you. Tell us what life is like on the other side.
Shelly: It just feels so empowering. I just have so much more energy. Like I got up this
morning before six and was like ready to work, got straight to work, and got so much done.
I was just awake. I don’t even know. There’s no way I could have done that with an alcohol
headache. I’ve been very open too about this with my two teenage daughters. One is about
to go to college and I think that them seeing what I was trying to do and how much better
I felt, I think that really opened their eyes. Hopefully, it did. Just being a good role model
for them it means a lot.
It was easy to just stop but like you said it was because I had gone through the coaching
and was more aware of why I was drinking and it just made such a big difference.
Lindsay: I want to say this about you, Shelly, because what I find is that a lot of people
who drink they’re like really big achievers and they work a lot and so they can be using
alcohol as a way to like de-stress and unwind and you are definitely that person. You and I,
when we’re close together it was all about like, “Shelly, you’re working yourself to death.
You got to tone it down girl.” The alcohol was a way for you to just relax and mellow out
and I know it’s the same for me. I even see this with my husband.
Sometimes it’s not necessarily to escape feelings per se that we see on the surface but just
like to take one distraction of maybe the overworking and replace it with something else
to balance it out. Do you see what I’m saying there? You rely to that.
Shelly: Definitely, yes. For sure. Or just any other distraction. You want to be careful not to
replace the drinking with another distraction or vice versa.
Lindsay: Two, it just shows that we don’t need– what do I want to say there? We think it’s
the alcohol may be the problem or something else but sometimes it’s just like we’re out of
balance.
Shelly: Yes. The coach really helps for sure.
Lindsay: Because once we started drinking work hours and of course dealing with the
feelings and all that but then it was just like, “Oh, I don’t need the alcohol anymore.”
Shelly: It was so much easier. There’s no way I could have done that before the coach
thing.
Lindsay: Then it just kind of snowballed into like we said earlier the weight loss thing
which was what your big goal was. Think about how you would have had to lose that
weight and then still resist the alcohol. That would have been harder don’t you think?
Shelly: Oh, for sure. I would’ve been like, “Oh, I can still drink that, I’ll just eat less.”
Lindsay: Now you’re at a place, tell them where your career was before and after, Shelly. I
know you’ve been on the podcast alone but just tell them–
Shelly: Kind of a synopsis.
Lindsay: Did you change a lot in a year career-wise?
Shelly: I did. I was working full time regular 9:00 to 5:00 job and had this big goal, working
with you. I wanted to be a virtual assistant and work from home and be my own boss.
When I first met you, I told you I want to do it six months. You were just like, “Okay, we’ll
work towards that,” but I ended up doing it till last October I quit the 9:00 to 5:00 and I’ve
been working for myself ever since and just still trying to up-level and reach those new
goals. Not that’s what I was referring to as, use it as a distraction to keep myself from
feeling because I was scared.
I let that fear hold me back a lot from up-level in my career and now I’m just learning to
lean into that fear and do it anyway.
Lindsay: For sure. Thanks, Shelly.
Shelly: Welcome.
Lindsay: All right. We’re out of time. We try to cover as much as possible in this window of
what we have. Hopefully, you’re leaving this interview inspired about these stories and
hopefully, one of your biggest takeaways is just feel the feelings. That’s why we turned to
things like alcohol is because we don’t want to feel the things and feeling the feelings is
uncomfortable. It’s not always easy. It’s so much easier to pick up a drink but what
happens is then we just stuff those down and they’re still inside of us. We think we’re
taking the edge off or we’re just going to focus on fun and we don’t want to focus on other
things but those things still, unfortunately, live inside of us.
It is just so much easier to deal with the feelings and in the long run. Again I want to thank
our guests today Rebecca, Judy, Shelly for being on the podcast, sharing their stories, being
so vulnerable, and sharing everything. Hopefully, this episode inspires you to look at the
way your relationship with alcohol is and how it can change and open up so many things
in your life. Thanks so much.
All right. I hope you enjoyed that interview with Judy, Rebecca, and Shelly. Each of them
have included links in the show notes for you to go connect with them. Judy, as I
mentioned earlier is a coach of her own. You can go check out her website and what she
offers as well as her Facebook page and you can email her. Rebecca has a personal
development blog that she’s blooming into which is so much fun and you can go connect
with her there or on her Instagram.
Then Shelly too has a blog which is so interesting. I swear not everybody who coaches
with me goes out and has a blog or goes into coaching. It just happens to be that they
were all on this episode but she has a blog. She has provided her email, her Instagram, and
her Facebook page. Go out there, go connect with them and ask them questions and get
their feedback and follow them on their journey, on their blog, or on their social media.
They are more than open to hearing from you and answering your questions and being a
part of your journey. They’re here to support you however you would like it. That’s all I
have for you this week. I hope you enjoyed it and I’ll see you again soon.
[music]
Hey there, Miss Unstoppable. Thanks so much for tuning into this episode. If you enjoyed
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In my nine-month simple success coaching system, I am going to walk you every single
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