“A coach is someone who tells you what you don’t want to hear, who has you see what you don’t want to see, so you can be who you have always known you could be.” – Tom Landry
Benefits of Coaching
I hear from clients all the time that they wish they would’ve signed up for coaching with me sooner. They tell me they had some idea of the benefits life coaching could give them, but they had NO idea the journey of growth that was in store for them when they clicked the sign up button.
I was the same way.
When I signed up for coaching, I just wanted to learn what my ideal career was and obtain my ideal work/life balance. What I gained was far beyond what I ever expected.
It got me thinking that it’s hard to know at times the value of something unless we experience it first hand.
So today on the podcast, I’m sharing with you the value of having a coach.
I promise, this isn’t a huge sales pitch, instead it’s an informational lesson about what a coach does for you (many times without you fully realizing it) and what benefits you can expect to gain when you hire a coach.
Join me for this learning experience so you can see once and for all if hiring a life coach is right for you. Listen via the link at the top of this page.
RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
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Full Transcript
Benefits of Life Coaching
This is the Become an Unstoppable Woman podcast with Lindsay Preston Episode 78, The
Value of a Coach.
[music]
Welcome to the Become an Unstoppable Woman podcast, the show for goal-getting, fearfacing women for kicking ass by creating change. I’m your host, Lindsay Preston. I’m a wife,
mom of two, and a multi-certified life coach to women all over the world. I’ve lived
through enough in life to know that easier doesn’t always equate to better. We can’t fear
the fire, we must learn to become it. On this show, I’ll teach you how to do just that. Join
me as I challenge you to become even more of the strong, resilient, and powerful woman
you were meant to be. Let’s do this.
[music]
Hi, there my friend. Welcome to another episode of the show. As I’m recording this, it’s the
end of October 2020, which means we have been in the coronavirus pandemic now for
what? Like almost eight months, and I’m going a little bit crazy with my two-year-old son.
He just does not sleep, he does not eat that much and yet he’s a ball of energy, seriously,
all day every day. He is not even napping and he’ll go to bed late, he’ll wake up earlier. We
don’t have him in any kind of schooling right now and so I’m managing him with work. It’s
a lot. Typically, I record this podcast during his nap time, but he didn’t nap today.
It is 9:30 PM at night and I’m in my master bedroom closet, on the floor, recording this
episode for you. Hang in there if you’re listening to this episode somewhat live and going
through the pandemic. Goodness, I’m just ready to be back to where he’s in school. Luckily,
my daughter is in school and things are going very well there. I’m just trying to move on. If
you are too, I feel you.
A couple of quick shout-outs to one of the guys before we get into this episode. First off,
this show is on the self-improvement charts in Hong Kong. How cool is that? It’s been so
fun to see the show in all these different countries on the charts lately. I’ve never seen it
on the Hong Kong charts. We’re number 1 of 50 as of last week. So cool. It looks like I was
on the charts in Philippines and in Tanzania as well, which is so crazy awesome. A few
weeks ago, too, there was Jamaica on the list, I had mentioned Spain, I had mentioned New
Zealand. If you’re overseas and listening to this show, thank you for tuning in to this Texas
girl in the United States. I am honored to help you throughout the world.
The other quick shout-out I want to give is, somebody left a really great review for the
show here in the past week or so and I want to share it. It says, “I’m an avid podcast
listener and have high standards for something to be listened to on a weekly basis. I
stumbled upon Lindsay, or maybe it’s fate, during quarantine 2020. I ended up listening to
every podcast within a few weeks. It felt like she was talking right to me. The amount of
actionable and free value she provides speaks to the kind of person she is. You can expect
actionable items with real relatable problems along with some storytelling. This show
kicked out another show listening spot that I have loved and listened to weekly “She’s that good.”
Thank you so much. This is a review from Kelsey. I just so appreciate it for you to take the
time and go and leave such a thoughtful review. Now, in the show, if you haven’t left a
review for the show yet, please go do so, especially if you’re on Apple Podcast because
that helps boost the rankings of the show and just get the word out there and when
people find the show. That’s the first thing I do when I find a show. I go and look at the
reviews and say, “Is this worth listening to or not?”
I go and look at the reviews if I’m asked to be on a podcast of, “How many listeners are out
there and what are they saying about the show? Is this worth my time?” If you want more
quality guys, if you want to just give your thanks for listening, go leave a review. It would
be so helpful. Thank you.
Let’s get into this week’s episode, the Value of a Coach. I must admit, I’m going to be
channeling my own coach, Stacey Boehmann, as I record this for you. She did a similar
episode, gosh, I think years ago, and it’s an episode I listen to on repeats, and it’s so
freaking good. Sometimes, we don’t quite know the value of what we do until somebody
else tells us that value. Now, Stacey used to be a life coach and now she’s turned into a
business coach for life coaches. She has a very interesting perspective in that she is able to
communicate very easily the value of a coach as being a coach, whereas for me, I know
that I can help people accomplish their goals and their dreams.
Some of the things that she said, I never realized truly the value in somebody doing that
for somebody else. When I think about my own coaching experience as a client, I think, “Oh
my gosh, she’s so right. Those things are so valuable and it’s just something that I easily
glance over.”
Today, I want to share this with you because I have been getting some feedback lately
from people asking about the price of coaching with me. I don’t give out publicly for one of
two reasons. The first is my pricing does change from time to time, so if put it out
everywhere in the world, it’s not going to be constantly updated. If I said on this podcast,
this podcast is going to live on for years and years to come, and so the pricing is going to
change. That doesn’t make sense to do that.
The second thing is I don’t put it out there because I want to make sure that I understand
your vision, where your life is today, and where you want to go because I really want to
make sure that I can help you and I want to make sure your vision is the one that you’re
ready to accomplish and ready to go all in for, and that the price justifies that. For
example, I had a consult, I think a week or so now ago. We were talking about her vision
and where her life is and where she wants to go. We were talking about what coaching I’ll
provide over the next 10 months and it really wasn’t that big of a change for her. She
really just didn’t have this huge transformation that she wanted.
When I say huge, I mean she just thought, “My life is pretty good. I’m happy making it
pretty good.” Most people, they feel like, “My life is pretty good. I want it great.” I’m feeling
the pain of it being pretty good even though things are good, I just like, “I have this calling
and I’m feeling fed up. I’m ready to go. Let’s do this.” Anyways, I really want to make sure
you’re at that place where you are ready to uplevel because then the price makes sense,
but for those of you who aren’t in that place, it doesn’t make sense.
We’re going to get more into that next week on the show. I’m going to talk about the ideal
coaching client and where you need to be and what qualities you need to have for
coaching to work very well for you because I’m getting to a place in my business where I’m
pretty much booked out. I’m becoming a little bit pickier with who I’m working with
because the core belief in my business is that this is the best investment in somebody’s
life, and I provide deep transformation for them and I help them accomplish their wildest
dreams of feeling better than ever in the process. That’s my big thing right now, my big
tagline.
I’ve gotten to a place where I know who’s really ready for that, whereas before, I take on
people who I thought that could be ready for it. Next week, again, we’re going to go deep
dive into that, so stay tuned for that one. Today, I just want to talk about coaching and the
value of it because, again, I’m getting these questions about pricing. Some people want to
know, A, how much it costs, but really you need to understand what the value of a coach is
because if you know what a value or the value that this provides for you, the cost is going
to make more sense for you when you get to that place where you may think about
investing because you are. You’re going to invest thousands of dollars to work with a
coach, either with me or with somebody else.
Now, is it going to be huge, huge amounts of money? Maybe for certain coaches. For me,
it’s not. We spend more on vacations than I charge for nine months of coaching. It’s a
perspective for anybody, but it is thousands of dollars. It is the cost of going on a vacation.
For some people, they don’t want to charge that. They don’t see the value in that. How in
the heck would you know the value of a coach if you’ve never experienced one?
Because to me, I know the value of one because I have seen the transformation and I have
been through a period of time where I had a coach for about nine months. The very first
time I had one, I got massive transformation and then I thought, “Okay, I’m good. All right.
I’ve trained to be a coach. Now, I’m going to go do that, and I’m going to be okay.” I would
have coaching sessions here and there but I didn’t make it a consistent thing. I didn’t grow
as much during those years. Then about a year ago, I just got to a place where things
started building up again and I knew I wanted to create more massive change. Since that
place, I have just decided I am never going out without a coach, again. I just grow so much.
I think about those years when I didn’t have a coach and was I growing? Yes, I was growing
a little bit but I wasn’t growing as fast as I am now. I wasn’t feeling as good as what I am
now. I was just letting these little things pile up. I’ve just decided that a coach is like a
dentist or a doctor that I have. It’s just in my arsenal of people that are on my team that
like my dentist every six months, I go and get a teeth cleaning. It helps to make sure that
I’m clean and ready to go with my teeth and my doctor, I go see my OB-GYN every year or
so and make sure everything’s going on there. All the things.
For my coach is like, “Okay, I have one to two sessions with my coach.” The coach that I’ve
had very much since the beginning of this whole coaching experience. Then I get 20
minute little mini sessions and this coaching program that I’m in, and that just provides me
so much amazing value and that I’ve talked about Stacy. Stacy is really my business coach
and in essence, I really haven’t even fully hired her to be my business coach. I’m just in one
of her big group programs. I just speak of her like we’re coaching one-on-one when we are
not. I just feel like she’s coaching me in my head all the time.
Coaching, the value of it to me it’s a no-brainer at this point but you may not know that
because you haven’t experienced it. Let’s talk about that. I’m going to go through all the
different points of what a coach gives somebody. When I’m talking about this, I’m talking it
from my own experience as a client and I’m also talking about it from a place of what it
gives to my clients. Remember, coaching is very general. There are many different
coaching styles out there. Obviously many different coaches out there. I cannot speak for
them. I can only speak for myself and my own experience. Don’t take this and say, “Well,
Lindsay said the value of coaches this, but I’m going to work with this person and she
didn’t give me that,” because I’m talking about me. All right.
The first quality or first thing that you will gain by working with a coach is the coach has
your best interest at heart, even when that’s scary and uncomfortable for you. For example,
I have a client right now who is making a big step in her career. She’s already grown a lot
in her career over the time that we’ve worked together but now she wants to take a leap in
a different direction.
All the time, I’m getting emails from her between coaching sessions, and during our
coaching sessions, she’s just spinning in all these decisions to make with this new career. I
keep telling her, “You are not confused. You know exactly where to go. If you had to decide
right now, where would you go?” Her brain is freaking out that she is making this leap,
even though she really wants to make this leap her brain is like, “What in the world do you
think you’re doing? We have gotten to a place now where we’re really safe and secure.
Comfort is what I’m all about as the brain why are we going to step out and do this?”
She is constantly self-sabotaging herself. She even sent me an email last week and said,
“Okay, I know I said I wanted to do this business, but I think I’m just going to take this, in
essence like little piddly side job instead because I can make money faster at it and here’s
why I want to make money fast and da, da, da.” I wrote her back from this really long email
that she sent me and I said, “Okay, what would be your ideal situation right now? If you
could have the best-case scenario, what would that be?” Of course, what did she reply
with? “Okay. The best-case scenario, I would go back to my original plan.”
I’m like, “Exactly. Your brain is still trying to convince you not to do this because it feels
really scary.” Sometimes as a coach, on my end, it’s hard to have to tell clients that over
and over again. In essence they come to me and say I want these goals and then their
brain as I said, keep self-sabotaging them, and I have to hold them accountable that and
bring them back to that and say, “Okay, but remember you said you wanted X, Y, Z and now
you’re saying you want A, B, C? Does that make sense?”
Sometimes clients will come back to me. I had a client a few weeks ago, who another one
that was shifting careers. She said, “Lindsay, I don’t want to shift careers at all, and said,
I’m going to invest more in the career that I have now.” She gave me all the reasons. I
wrote her back and I said, “What are you talking about? You have made it very clear you do
not want to stay in this career.” I gave her the reasons why of what she had told me and I
said, “Then based on the work we’ve done, this is why this other career is a better fit for
you that you have decided to take and move forward with.” She did not take my response
to her very well.
It was uncomfortable for her and she has not fully come around and seen where I’m
coming from for that. That is the power of a coach, my friend. A coach holds you
accountable to what you said that you want to do. Now, of course, the coach is going to
allow you to move and shift when things don’t make sense anymore, and they’re not in
alignment anymore. A coach is going to say, “Wait a second, before you make this change,
to something that you said you once wanted really, really badly, let’s figure out and make
sure why. Let’s get uncomfortable for a minute and really–” They call you out in your BS in
essence.
It’s like why would you even do that? Why would you even say? The coach, again, has your
best interests at heart here of like, they’re an essence, holding space for this future self
that you said you wanted. This future self is saying you want X, Y, Z career, this future self
is saying it wants to make this much money. This future self is saying, “Hey, I want my
ideal family. Let’s go.”
You at one point, dream that up and you are so excited to get it but then when you had to
actually get down and get into action of it, the brain freaked out. A coach helps you stay on
that pathway, even though it feels really scary. A coach is also your number one
cheerleader, and that builds amazing momentum. In my coaching process, we have a tool
that we call wins. Every day my clients go into their journal, and they’re writing down the
things that happened well the day prior. It’s little things too sometimes of like a shift in
awareness. I felt my feeling of da, da, da.
Of course, it’s external things too of I was praised here, or I slowed down, or I made more
money or whatever. They’re able to be their own cheerleader, in essence. Then they come
to our calls and in our community and I’m saying, “Okay, what are your wins? That’s what
we’re starting with.” We take time, sometimes 15, 20 minutes, if it’s a 60-minute call, of
just holding space for all the progress that they’ve made. Whereas some people would say,
“Okay, that’s a waste of time. Why would you spend time doing that.” You have no idea
how much momentum that builds because your brain is like, “It’s working. It’s working. It’s
moving.”
It just builds this power. It goes back to the idea that we are who we are around, and we
are what we consume. If you’re consuming things that are building you up and build your
momentum, like practicing daily wins, and having somebody celebrate you for, 15, 20
minutes a week, by holding space for your wins and being like, “Oh, my gosh, and did you
see that when you said this story to me that there are actually more wins than you realize.
Before you used to respond like this, but now you’re responding like this. Before you used
to do X, Y, Z habits, and now you don’t even do that. That’s not even something that
crosses your mind. Are you seeing that?”
It’s amazing to sit back and say, “Whoa, yes, I’m changing even more than I realized.” Again,
it’s just like, “Wow, this is so powerful,” because our brain naturally wants to focus in on all
the negative things, all the things we don’t have, all the things that the brain sees as a
threat so it can keep us safe and secure. We have to intentionally go in there and every
day, show the brain, here’s what’s going well.
Then for somebody again, to hold that space for you, it’s just this ultimate power boost to
your brain of, “Whoa, look at all the change I’m creating,” and that in essence gives you
this– I said power boost just a minute ago but like a power boost, right of this electric
shock of, “Whoo, I’m ready to go in and tackle the next week so that I can have this boost
again of celebrating myself.”
Another thing a coach does is they have wisdom, perspective, and sound judgment. They
are trained to do this. Again, I’m saying they meaning like general coaches. I know I’m
trained to do this is to hold space for somebody for them to find their own wisdom, their
own perspective, their own sound judgment. Just the skill of being able to hold space for
somebody and ask questions in a way for them to find their own wisdom is a skill in itself.
Also, a coach has likely gone through the process that the client is going through. With my
clients, nine times out of 10, if not 10 out of 10, because I’m trying to think of a time it
hasn’t happened, but most times with my clients, I’ve been in their shoes exactly to a T
and I’ve already gotten over the problem that they’re facing.
Most times I’m not giving them advice or mentorship. I do throw it in there from time to
time, especially if it’s somebody who’s building a coaching business, because I do have
clients that are, but most times it’s just me holding space for them to find their own
wisdom. That is really hard to find in the average world. Because most times you’re going
to people and you’re saying, “This is my problem, or here’s what I’m thinking.” They just
start dishing out advice.
Whereas some of that is really great and some of that is needed from time to time, it’s
really tricky. Because you’re not finding your own wisdom. You’re not finding your own
perspective and your own judgment. You’re turning to all these other people to give it to
you versus finding it for yourself and not as powerful. Once you know how to tap into your
own wisdom, judgment, intuition, whatever you want to call it, you have that skill for
freaking life.
I don’t have to sit around anymore and wonder if I’m making the right decision on things.
Now, sometimes I do get tripped up from time to time. I’m not perfect, but 99% of the time
I know exactly where I want to go and I make that decision and I just know I have really
great judgment. Whereas before it was definitely not that. I mean, hello, I was in a
relationship with a narcissist. There’s no way somebody with sound judgment will be in a
relationship with that kind of person because it just wouldn’t align in any way. A narcissist
makes you doubt yourself a lot.
That is just a skill that’s worth thousands, if not hundreds of thousands, if not millions of
dollars because it just saves so much time and a coach allows you to create that for
yourself and continues to hold space for you for that and in essence, sometimes be a
mentor and advisor to you as well. A coach also comes from love and belief of who you
want to be in the future. They believe in what’s possible for you.
It is one of my values that I don’t take on clients that I don’t believe in that can hit their
goals. Again, this is why I have the free consult. They come to me and they tell me their
goals and I have to really sit there and say, “Can I give this to them and can we do some of
the stuff in nine months, if not all of it in nine months?” I have to really sit with that and
say, “Do I believe in them enough based on me just having this, in essence, one-hour
conversation with them, do I believe they’re emotionally stable enough? Do I believe in
their vision and all that stuff?”
If I don’t, then I will not work with that person. Again, it’s like, I need to be on board with
the vision, I need to be in this place where I trust the person enough. That’s why, again,
sound judgment. How could I ever have made decisions that quickly about somebody to
work with them for nine months after an hour? That’s craziness. It’s because I have such
sound judgment.
Going back to what I was saying is they have to believe in what’s possible for you. They
come from love and belief of holding that space once again of, “Okay, here’s where we’re
going. You’re ready.” Whenever you’re going through the journey of it, there’s going to be
hard points. Especially in the first month of coaching with me, at least. We go through
some hard stuff to clear out the crap, and I’m still holding that space of like, “Here we go,
this is where we’re going. Remember this is where we’re going to end up.”
It just keeps the journey moving versus if somebody is doing this kind of work on their
own, which I don’t know how they would do the coaching work I do on their own. If they
were, then it’s very easy to talk themselves out of it. It’s very easy for them to quit
believing in the dream. Again, this is why I just said, I don’t know how they do it on their
own, but at one point, my coaching process or a part of it at least, because it’s changed
over the years was self-study. You could pay a much lower fee to do the core self-study. I
just found that people just talk themselves out of finishing it.
Now, sometimes people would finish it, but they would just be like, “Ugh.” Their brain
would just be like, “Oh, okay. I don’t believe in the vision anymore and this is too hard.”
Just doing what a normal brain does, but a coach has you keep showing up and keeps you
keep believing in that vision. Because what’s cool is that at some point, you’re going to
cross over. It’s usually within the first three months of me working with a client, they start
to cross over, and then the momentum starts to build like crazy, especially for the external
results.
They get internal results for a while before that, but then the external results come and it’s
like, “See?” It looks so cool and they held that vision during those first few weeks, when it
felt really hard, when everything in the brain was like, “Get out of here. I don’t want to do
this.” That’s powerful. As I said, it’s not just the first three months. Any time you’re setting
a new goal, the brain is naturally going to do this.
I have a group of clients right now who I’ve worked with before and we’re working
together again. We set these two really big goals for them for the next year. Once we set
those goals, then the brain just immediately goes to all the things of like, “Get out of here.
We don’t want to go make the goal because we’re going to have to put ourselves out there,
and we’re going to have to change things up and it’s going to be uncomfortable.” All the
things.
I’m just sitting there and I’m like, “Keep doing it. We’re going to get there.” They’re like,
“But Lindsay, I didn’t hit my goal this month. I said I was going to get X amount of dollars.”
Don’t worry. We’re going to get there. I hold that calmness for them as they’re, in essence,
a little bit on a rollercoaster ride when they’re setting this goal and in essence, in a few
weeks, there’ll be on the calm too. The results will start coming and everything will be
good and they’ll believe in it in the more. It’s like, “Wow, that’s so amazing.”
As I mentioned earlier, in this episode, I worked with a coach. Then I took a couple of years
off and then I worked with a coach again. Even though I knew how to coach myself and I
knew how to set goals and go after goals and I did achieve goals, I didn’t, as I said, achieve
as much as I did when I had a coach. Because when I had my coach, especially that first
time, I remember telling her what my goals were. I thought I was crazy for my goals.
One of my goals is, find my ideal career in the next year and get to a place where I make, I
think it was $35,000 or something like that. Because I just wanted to have the minimal
amount that I could survive on and be in my ideal career. Because I just thought if I can
just be in my ideal career and pay my bills, oh my gosh. That was mind-blowing to me. I
remember her saying, “Oh, you can absolutely do that.” I thought, “Really, is she just
feeding me a load of shit right now?” Then I went and I did it. It just was amazing.
Even now when I tell my goals, there’s a part of me that’s like, “Can I really do this?” My
coach is like, “Yes, absolutely.” She just continues to hold that space for me of the finish
line of you’re going to get there. The other thing that I love about the value of a coach is
they help you make decisions for the person you want to be and the life that you can
create. In essence, they’re teaching you how to make decisions from your future self. I am
really incorporating this more and more in my newly revamped coaching process. We
spend a whole week in the coaching process about their future self and creating that.
Before I teach that to them, I am asking them when they’re coming to a place of making a
decision or they’re freaking out about something, I’ll say, “Okay, what does your self in nine
months say about this or what does your future self who has the goal,” because if it’s a
really big goal beyond the nine months, “what is she saying about this?” “Oh, well, she’s
saying not to freak out. It’s not that big of a deal and da, da, da.” Exactly. Or what would
she decide in this moment? “Oh, she would decide to go and make this choice instead of
this choice.”
It sounds so simple when I tell you that, but our brains love to make everything so
complicated and freak us out that it’s hard for us to see those things sometimes. Even me.
That’s why I get coached all the time. I totally get in client mode when I get coached. You
would not even believe that I’m a coach sometimes when I’m getting coached. Because I
have a human brain, this is what human brains do.
I even told my group of clients that I have right now, that I’m working with, again, in my
Living The Dream program. I said, “Do you guys want to see my coaching calls?” Because I
record a lot of them, especially my little 20 minute ones. “Would you like to see me as a
client?” And most of them are like, “Yes, I would totally want to see that.” I said, “The
reason why I want to share it with you is because I want you to see that I’m just a human
being like you are with a human brain and when I’m coaching you, in essence, on certain
things, I have likely been coached on that thing already. I’ve already been told all the
things that I was missing. I was reminded of all the things that I want and all of that stuff.”
I can’t wait to share it with them. I’m getting it all prepared right now to start to put those
out there for them, but it’s just so important to know that of like, even when you’re
listening to this podcast and stuff, you may be taking notes or just mental notes. You may
be incorporating some of the stuff of like, “Ooh, that’s good. I’m going to ask questions for
my future self. Yes. I’m going to start to celebrate my wins and yes I’m going to hold space
for myself, like Lindsay says to do.” You can go do that and you’ll get progress, but it’s not
going to be the same as when a coach does it, it’s just not.
The next point I want to get to it’s an hour just for you and your highest good. To me there
is no better self-care and growth than the time I spend getting coached. I could sit and do
bubble baths all day long and even journal and read self-help books and listen to podcasts.
It all gives me a little boost here and there. When I get a coaching session, woo wee. It is
like I have a brand new battery for the next week or whatever, until my next session.
I just feel so powerful. That doesn’t mean that a coach is like pouring into me all of this
love and goodness. Sometimes I’m getting called out big time on my coaching sessions.
Like I had a coaching session last week with a coach and these little 20 minute sessions
that I’m getting, it’s typically coaches I’ve never had before. I never had this girl before and
this girl was tough and I came to the session and I sat, I’m starting to question a decision
that I made or that I’m about to make.
I just want to make sure that I’m not talking to myself out of something. I’m starting to tell
her this decision and what it is and things of that sort. She’s like, “You know what? You
really don’t believe in yourself, do you?” I was like, “Excuse me. It was what I was thinking.”
She’s like, “Because it’s just really showing that you don’t believe in your ability to do da,
da, da, by you talking yourself out of the decision.”
It was tough for her to say that to me because my natural reaction was kind of like, “F you,
who do you think you are?” It was really what I needed to hear and I didn’t fully set in until
hours, if not like days later of what she had said, because at the time it stung a little. I
remember another coaching session I had recently where we brought up the point that I
have this belief that I’m not worthy. I remember when we brought it up and the coach
bring it to my eyes. She said, well, really you think that you’re not worthy.
I remember being like, screw you and my brain wanting to naturally push back and be like,
I am totally worthy but then the other part of me was like, “Oh man, she’s right. I still need
to do some healing around that.” It felt like crap, but it was so good at the same time. I
know some of my clients feel that way when we get off on sessions, especially the clients
that I have that I’m working with again, because my style has changed in the past year or
so.
Especially longer than that and so they’re coming back to me and they’re like, “Whoa, this
is different. Your coaching style is different,” and I told them it was. I told them, it’s like, I
call you out more, but it’s for your absolute highest good. If I’m saying, “Hey, this is going
to be the best investment of your life and you’re telling me you want these goals. I’m all in
with these goals. I’m not going to just set you passively, give me money and half ass this
stuff anymore.
We’re going all in and we’re making this happen.” Again, it’s a bully kick sometimes, but
then after you take away the shock value of it, it’s like, “Man, I am so glad that she called
me out on that, because that has been something I’ve been needing to see for a long time.”
On that next point is hearing the truth, even when it’s hard and someone’s saying you’re
wrong because if you’re wrong, then that opens you up for new possibilities and new
growth and new results. If you decide to just stay right about whatever you’re believing,
then you’re just going to stay stuck and you don’t change.
I actually watched a coaching session just a few days ago. It was so funny because a coach
was coaching another coach. The coach that was the client in this situation, she said, I’m
just not getting the clients that I want and I can’t overcome the money objection when
people are coming to me. The coach who was coaching her on it and she was calling her
out on some of the staff and the coach that was the client just kept fighting back and was
like, “No, you’re wrong.
No, no, it’s not that. No. It’s not that.” I sat there and I thought, “Girl, you signed up for
coaching, and yet you’re not really opening yourself up to getting coached. You really want
to hold onto the belief that you’re right here, but yet you don’t have the results you want
and this coach is showing you, “Hey, here’s what the problem is based on what you’ve been
telling me, and you’re not believing it.” What happened when she left that call, you could
tell she was kind of dissatisfied with her coaching.
The coach didn’t really get it and something bad had happened. It was just a bad mix or
something kind of thing. In my mind I thought it totally wasn’t the coach’s fault. She was
giving you some great coaching, but you just don’t want to change. Because of that you’re
likely going to stay with the same results versus hearing, “Hey, you’re wrong here, and then
having all these possibilities open up for you to see where you need to grow from.” That,
again, it can be really uncomfortable. A coach sees what you don’t want to see and tells
you sometimes what you don’t want to hear, but you need to hear it and nobody else in
your life is, A, going to recognize it because they’re not trained to see these kinds of things.
Two, even if they do see it, they may not want to tell you. In my personal life, I see
people’s patterns and blocks and beliefs all the time that aren’t serving them, but I’m not
in that role to tell them those things. When people are telling me their problems, I’m just
like, “Aha, aha, aha. Oh, I’m so sorry. That’s so hard. Yes. I’ll be thinking about you and da,
da, da,” and kind of like feeding into their thing and that’s likely what’s happening in your
life too. Everybody’s just there to support you because that’s their role. Yes, you may have
the friends that call you out on things from time to time, of course, but they’re not going to
call you out like a coach and they’re not going to do it as consistently as a coach.
Because if you think just changing one belief is powerful because maybe somebody calls
you out on one habit you’re doing and you saw that they were right in it and it changed
things. Imagine getting that every single week over and over and over and over again, it’s
crazy. Which brings me to my next point of a shift in one single thought can change your
entire life. When you have a coach, you have belief shifts over and over again.
They can pound to become an entire new belief system, and when you change your beliefs,
you change everything. If you’ve listened to some of my other episodes, we’re talking
about the model and we talk about your thoughts and how your thoughts create your
feelings and your feelings are what drive your actions and your actions are what create
your results. At the end of the day, your thoughts become your results. I see the power in
this every single day in my life.
Even just, I was preparing for a training that you likely just heard, it was talking about I
think, growing your career. When the Coronavirus hit, I just had all these thoughts. “No
one’s going to buy coaching. This is going to be too hard to manage motherhood and
business, and I’m just going to give up.” Then I heard a podcast, again from my coach,
Stacy. She said, if you’re a mom right now, and you think the coronavirus going make this
too hard for you to work, I want you to think differently. She presented all of these
different thoughts that I could potentially think about it. She also talked about the
coronavirus and how so many coaches were like, “Oh, no one’s going to buy coaching now.”
She’s like, “No, let’s think about this differently.” Shifting just that from nobody wants to
buy coaching, this is going to be too hard, to I’m in high demand and I’m going to make
this work has shifted and made me over a hundred thousand dollars from the time I shifted
that thought in April might’ve even been late March to now in October. If I would’ve just
stayed with that thought of nobody wants coaching, it’s going to be too hard, I likely would
have made next to $0.
Just changing those two beliefs was huge. I’m changing beliefs all the time and I’m
changing beliefs of my client all the time. We’re pulling belief lists sometimes with my
clients that are pages long, and then we go in and we change them. Do you have any idea
how powerful it is? It’s huge. It changes everything. So many people then get scared. It’s
like, “Well, am I going to leave my marriage? Am I going to like totally blow up my whole
life?” I don’t know. I don’t know the quality of your marriage. I don’t know the quality of
your career, but what I find for a lot of people is it improves the things that matter.
For most people they don’t end up leaving what they had. They just realized it was just
their thoughts that were making them so miserable in the situation, or just uncomfortable
not having what they want, and so when we change the thoughts, it changes everything.
The marriage starts to thrive. The job doesn’t seem that bad and yes, maybe they want to
shift, but they don’t feel like they have to get out of there. I have a client right now when
we started working together.
Oh my gosh. She just would go on and on about her job and like how horrible it was and
how awful it was. I was really frank with her and I said, it’s not really the job, it’s your
thoughts about the job. As we’ve worked together, we’re now wrapping up our third
month, she has completely shifted her beliefs about the job. It’s not even that big of a
trigger for her. Because she’s been able to calm her thoughts about the job too, she’s even
been moved to a different team, that’s more in alignment with who she is now. She
thought it was like, oh, I have to find a new job. It was this big, huge up-level and shift.
No, it was just that we need to change our thoughts about it and do some healing work
behind those thoughts of why the thoughts were even there, to begin with. It’s huge. The
other value of a coach is it changes everything in your life. You may come in and say, well,
I want to work on my career and my anxiety levels or my self-esteem or my business or my
marriage or my weight or whatever.
You may have specific ideas of the things you want to change, but it changes everything
because most times how we do one thing is how we do all things. I just got off a call with
a client before I started recording this. She said, I don’t understand why more people don’t
do coaching. It’s just like, if your foot hurts, you go to a foot doctor and they help fix your
foot.
If your life isn’t what you want it to be, and you’re not feeling great, why wouldn’t you hire
a life coach? I’m like, okay, we could totally get on a totally different tangent about that.
But today we’re talking about you and your coaching and Volvo. We got her back. But she
was saying, she was like, “I have changed so much in the three months I’ve been working
with you, Lindsay, in ways that I didn’t even know that I needed changing.”
I said, yes, and that’s why people don’t hire a life coach because they don’t even know how
good it can be on the other side. They don’t even know some of the problems that they
have because they’ve just been living with them for so freaking long. That my friend is why
I say coaching is transformational, and I give transformations because it changes
everything. As I said, one belief can change so many things.
Imagine how many things you’re going to be able to shift from getting that kind of
coaching. A coach also shows you an example of what’s possible, and then it’s up to you if
you want to accept it. A lot of times I’ll tell my clients and I’ll have coaches say to me,
“This is just the beginning. This is just the beginning for you.” Because in essence, they’re
saying, there’s even more out there for you.
Because sometimes I get my own mind blown. If I think about what I’ve created in the past
few months, my business, it is a little mind-blowing, it is, because my business has not
made a lot of money for a while. I was cool with that. I was happy with that and I just blew
it off of like, “Okay, I’m not here for the money and da, da, da.”
Then to be able to just decide of, okay, I’m going to make this work. I even put in there, the
belief of, I’m going to make 200K this next year. The fact that I’ve made that in seven or
eight months, I think at this point, seven months of over 100K is like, “Holy crap, I can do
this. I am doing this,” and it blows your own damn mind.
Then when they say, well, this is just the beginning, it’s like, whoa, you mean there’s more,
I can just keep doing this? They can even say like, yes, once you do this, then you can do
da, da, da, da, da. I do this for my clients all the time because they can’t even believe of
like, wow, you mean I can just not have anxiety anymore or I can just lose the weight and
go think about other things, or I can finally just get the job and chill and relax and enjoy
my life?
It’s like, yes, yes. Then after that, you’re just going to build your wealth and then you’re
going to travel the world. Then you’re going to be able to do da, da, da. You’re going to
give back to charity more than you ever imagined.
It’s like mind-blowing, a coach shows you those things. A coach, then when you have those
momentous changes, a coach celebrates you and make sure you take pride in
accomplishment that your brain is going to try and discredit it by saying it’s not a big deal.
This goes back to something I said earlier about finding those wins and being your
cheerleader. We do this in my coaching process with a lot of different tools. We’re doing
the wins as I mentioned.
We’re also talking about goals and we’re checking with goals all the time so we can
celebrate those changes. We do a tool called Brags where in essence, you were claiming
something powerful about yourself, and a coach is giving you space for that, and having
you take pride in that and showing you that thing and taking pride in you for doing that,
which is so powerful, especially for women because we are taught very softly and innately.
I don’t know what the word is, but in a very way we don’t really understand, unconsciously,
there we go. There’s the word. It’s later than ten o’clock at night. I’m losing my words here,
but we’re taught as women in a very unconscious way to be small and to play safe and to
be nice, and to brag and claim something about you is really big. Then two, the coach is
always keeping track of your growth. I have, it’s called a Client Relation Management
system, I believe, CRM.
I keep all these notes of my clients. I’m constantly looking over those notes to spot
patterns in their growth. I just have honestly, a crazy weird memory where I memorize so
many things about people. Most of the times I don’t even need the notes. I’ll tell them all
the time, it’s like, hey, did you spot this and hey, did you spot this, and hey, did you spot
that?
Your brain again is going to be like, “Oh, that’s no big deal.” But when we take the moment
and we celebrate it, then it shows that the brain is like, wow, this really is a big deal. It just
allows you to calm down, enjoy the journey of life more.
This is why I say in my marketing, I’ll help you accomplish your wildest dreams while
feeling better than ever in the process because the brain is just going to naturally be like,
next, next, next, next, next, what’s the next problem that I need to solve? We slow that
down. Now, the other thing a coach does most times, now we can’t save everybody, but a
coach keeps you from not quitting.
It keeps you in massive action. That’s the only way to get results is to constantly make a
decision, take action, make a decision, take action, versus being like, oh, I’m going to take a
break or I’m not really going to do that, I’m just going to quit for a while.
A coach is like, no, we’re going to do this, and then we’re going to keep going. Okay, what’s
next? What’s next? What’s next? A reason most people don’t stay in massive action is
because they don’t stay inspired enough to stay in massive action. I really realized this
again when I didn’t have a coach. Yes. Was I taking action? Absolutely. Was I getting some
of my goals? Yes. I did have the tools for success. I was a coach.
I knew how to do those things, but my coach wasn’t there to cheer me on. My coach wasn’t
there to hold space for my future self. My coach wasn’t there to show me things that I
wasn’t seeing in myself, to get me into action even faster. I wasn’t in massive action. I was
an action, but massive action makes such a difference, such a difference. It’s huge.
I’ve made more money in the past year in my business really, like I said, six or seven
months than I’ve made in my entire first five years of coaching. Crazy, right? Now it’s just
opened up so many more doors for me. It’s insane. I really want to just end with this,
before I had a coach I played the game that everyone else is playing in life.
It was working. I checked off the boxes, I graduated high school pretty well. I went to
college. Then I met the guy that I’d be with for a while. I had a baby, we got a house and
built a career and all that stuff. But granted, I had the big setback of the divorce and his
double life and all of that, which was such a blessing because would have just kept
checking the boxes.
But inside, I just kept thinking, is this it, is this really what life is all about? Because it
doesn’t feel that fulfilling. It felt like even though I was moving forward and checking the
boxes, I really wasn’t getting anywhere because I just felt like the same person, but getting
older and getting more external accomplishments. Now, where I am now as a person after
coaching, I’m not even in the same arena as my former self was, what, in 2013, so six or
seven years ago.
Working with a coach saved me the most valuable resource there is, time. Grant Cardone,
he has quote that says the most expensive way to learn is through experience. I learned
through experience the first 29 years of my life before I had a coach. I wasted a lot of time
and a lot of money, and there was a lot of heartache. After coaching, has it been all
rainbows and daisies?
No, of course, because too I had that break where I didn’t have a coach in there, but I feel
like I’m at a place now where most 50 or 60-year-olds are of just like, wow, look at what
I’ve done with my life. God forbid if something happens to me, but if it does, I just feel so
at peace with who I am and what I’ve created. To think that I’m just getting started, it just
feels incredible. It has saved me so much time and money because I know where I’m going.
I don’t spin in indecision. I don’t spin in What-Ifs. I don’t attract things that are “harmful”
for me. I just keep moving forward. Too, I don’t spend money on things that are in essence
distractions like shopping or food. This is what’s created a lot of savings for my husband
and I. This is what changed the game and then me being able to have those coaching tools
to take to him and passively coach him because he’s not into coaching. So funny, isn’t it,
he’s married to a coach and he doesn’t quite see the value of coaching to each their own,
of course. It’s allowed for us to create huge momentum in that way, because we don’t
spend our time and money on things that are taking us away from our goals.
I really feel like coaching helps somebody be more alive and just be here to the fullest
expression of who they are, and really what is the value of that? What’s the value of not
just existing in the world. Working with a coach allows you to create a legacy that when
you leave this planet, you’ll say, damn, I freaking did it. You’ll have no regrets, and if you
do have regrets, coach teaches you how to feel the feelings, feel all the emotions and
coach helps you feel less alone in the worlds.
You can express all those emotions and not feel like a crazy person for feeling the way
that you do. You feel seen and you feel heard. Again, you don’t get spinning in this kind of
emotional drama anymore. You just let it out with a coach. Coach holds that space for you.
You feel the feelings, you have the tools to feel the feelings and you move that forward. A
coach sees you as your highest and best self, and they treat you in that way, so your brain
will believe it, because at first you’re going to be like, “Okay, I want all these things that I
want to be this person, but I don’t know.
I’m not there yet.” A coach believes that and hold space for you and then eventually you
just become that person. I had a client recently that when I met her, she wasn’t making
that much. I want to say it was like $25,000 a year. This girl is sharp and I told her, gosh,
you’re worth so much more than that and years later, she said, she’s making more money
than she’s ever thought possible. She’s like, “I never forgot the time when you told me
you’re worth so much more than that and I just kept that thought in my mind.” That’s the
power of a coach, my friend.
They’re showing you, “Hey, you could be this, you have the potential to be something
different.” Then you go and you do it. It’s a fun experience to have a coach. Granted, yes, is
it booty kicking sometimes? Is it not so pleasant in the way that it feels sometimes?
Absolutely. Truly it feels like your best friends creating magic in the universe when you’re
coaching. I can’t tell you how many coaching sessions or moments I’ve had, where we just
sat there and we laugh and I say, “Can you even believe this is happening?” They’re like,
“No, I can’t.” I’m like, “It it’s totally happening,” because they’ve done something amazing
that they once thought they couldn’t do and then they’ve done it.
They just end up creating this high vibe energy to make the best decisions, because you’re
holding that space for them time and time and time and time again. I look forward to my
coaching sessions all the time, even when they’re uncomfortable, even when my brain is
like, I don’t want to do this. I still look forward to it because I know the power of being on
the other side. Again, you may be at a place where you haven’t seen the other side, you
haven’t seen the value of coaching, and that’s why I say if you feel inspired, reach out, take
action, get moving.
There is no need to sit in indecision. I can’t tell you how many clients come to me and say,
I wish I would’ve done this sooner. I’m glad that I did coaching when I did. I was 29 as I
said, and I wish I would have been introduced to it at 25, before I even had my daughter
and had made different decisions during that time of those four or five years. Heck I wish I
would have even had it in college, but most times our brains aren’t quite ready for it then.
Yes, 25 is really the starting point where your brain has evened out from a neurological
perspective and you’re ready to go. You get moving. I never ever regret the money I spent
on coaching ever and it was so scary at the time to invest in coaching. I didn’t have a job. I
only had a couple thousand in savings and it was going all to coaching. It’s the best payout
ever. It’s made me now a lot of money and it’s allowed me to have my husband and to
keep my husband and allowed me to be a completely different parent from the start with
my son. It’s just changed so much more than I ever thought possible. When I came in and I
just thought, okay, I just want coaching to help me find my ideal career.
Who knew it would have ended up being coaching. Then it’s just opened everything. The
whole trajectory of my life has changed because of coaching. It’s amazing. I hope you see
the value of coaching. I know when I’m telling this to you, you’re like, “Well, Lindsay you
sell coaching?” That’s why sometimes I think, “Damn, I wish I didn’t end up a coach,
because I would just sit around and sell it all day long because it’s so amazing.” To each
their own, right, you may still not be ready to move forward, but if you feel called to and
like, okay, this is it.
Now I know the value of coaching. Let’s go, let me get on the phone with Lindsay. Let’s
see. We’re ready to work together. Let me find out this whole cost of this and let’s see if
we can get moving, go and fill out a consult call form. Just go to
lindsayepreston.com/apply, I believe is the link. The link is also in the outro and always in
the show notes. Take that action. Let’s get moving. Let’s go. Let’s create some amazing
results. I can’t wait for you to be my next success story. All right. My friends that’s it for
today and I’ll see you in the next one. Bye.
[music]
Hey there, Miss Unstoppable. Thanks so much for tuning into this episode. If you enjoyed
it, share it with a friend. Send them a picture of this episode via text, via email, share it on
social media, I’m sure they would be so appreciative to know these strategies and tips on
how to accomplish your dreams. If you are ready to guarantee you’re going to accomplish
your goals and dreams, then it’s time to start coaching with me.
In my nine-month simple success coaching system, I am going to walk you every single
step of the way to ensure that you get the goals and dreams that you want. The first step is
to apply for a free 60-minute consult call. Just go to LindsayEpreston.com/apply to get
started. As always, my friend, remember, you’re only as unstoppable as you believe you can
be, so believe in yourself. You got this.
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