“Everything you’ve ever wanted to know is buried inside of you waiting to be discovered.”
What to do When You Feel Confused
By far the most common question I get as a life coach from my clients starts with “Lindsay, how do you ____ (feel better, grow your career, find the right partner, lose weight…)?”
Which when flipped around this question is the statement that says, “Lindsay. I don’t know how to do ____.”
While I do teach often in my coaching process and even mentor/consult/advise from time to time, many times I flip that question back on my clients pretty quickly to ask…
“IF YOU DID KNOW, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?”
And, get this….
Their answers are pretty damn good. So good in fact, it knocks them on their tush to realize they already knew the answer, but their brain secretly talked them out of it.
As humans (especially women), we are SO intuitive and SO much wiser than we give ourselves credit for.
Yet, our brains LOVE to spin in confusion about things.
This confusion costs us time, energy, money and our livelihoods. It stops us from ACCOMPLISHING OUR GOALS AND DREAMS.
Confusion doesn’t EVER need to happen and I’m teaching you why on the podcast today.
Join me as I teach you how to stop EVER feeling confused in your life.
IN THIS EPISODE, I SPECIFICALLY TEACH:
- How to spot when you’re confused
- What to do when you feel confused
- What confusion is a cover for
Listen in to this powerful episode at the top of this page or on your favorite podcast player and let’s cut your confusion once and for all so you can make your goals and dreams happen.
RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
→ Continue the conversation in my free online community
→ Get The 4-Day Accomplish Your Dreams Free Training
→ MAKE STRONG DECISIONS episode
→ MAXIMIZE YOUR RESULTS episode
Full Transcript
This is the Become an Unstoppable Woman podcast with Lindsay Preston Episode 82, Stop
Feeling Confused.
[music]
Welcome to the Become an Unstoppable Woman podcast, the show for goal-getting, fearfacing women for kicking ass by creating change. I’m your host, Lindsay Preston. I’m a wife,
mom of two, and a multi-certified life coach to women all over the world. I’ve lived
through enough in life to know that easier doesn’t always equate to better. We can’t fear
the fire, we must learn to become it. On this show, I’ll teach you how to do just that. Join
me as I challenge you to become even more of the strong, resilient, and powerful woman
you were meant to be. Let’s do this.
[music]
Hi there, Ms. Unstoppable. Welcome to another episode of this show. So happy to have you
here. Want to give a quick shout-out to anyone listening in Brazil. I saw this week we’re on
the charts over there, which is the first time ever, so major shout out to all my Brazilians.
So happy to have you. All right. Today we’re talking about feeling confused. In fact, I’m
going to teach you how to stop feeling confused. This is actually a lot more simple than
you think. I have so many people who come to me confused. They don’t know where to go
in life. They don’t know how to improve their marriage. They don’t know where to go next
in their career. They don’t know how to build a business. All of the things.
Today I’m going to, in essence, allow you to get all the answers you need so you don’t ever
have to feel confused again. Yes, never ever again will you have to feel confused. Get
ready. It’s an exciting episode. Let’s talk about confusion and why it happens to begin with.
All of us have these inner negative voices that I call the inner mean girl and we have a
voice called a doubter in there. We also have a critic, perfectionist, vacillator, avoider,
pleaser. Missing one in there, but there’s another one. Oh, controller. We’ve got all these
different voices inside of us, and this doubter voice that we have it likes to doubt us a lot.
In order to doubt us, it confuses us at the same time because it doubts that we can do
certain things that we want to do in our lives, especially if we’re breaking barriers. If we’re
doing things like our family didn’t do, or we don’t see in our immediate world around or for
a lot of us, just things we’ve never personally done, that inner doubt can pop up and say,
“Who are you to do this kind of thing? Do you really think you can grow your career and
make this kind of money? Do you really think you can leave your job? Do you really think
you can have a marriage that you say you can have?” It brings that doubt up. Now, this
inner doubter that you have, it thinks it’s helping you.
It thinks by telling you these doubts in essence it’s protecting you from getting hurt
because if it doubts you, then you won’t be as disappointed if you don’t get it.
Disappointment can make us feel sad and sadness feels weak. That inner doubter also
deep down doesn’t want us to leave our comfort zone. Why? Because anything outside our
comfort zone, even if it’s good stuff, stuff that we want, feels scary to that primitive brain
where that inner mean girl or your inner doubter lives. It will instead just spin in this
confusion, in essence for you to stay confused and to stay stuck.
It’s very sneaky how it does this. Today again, I want to bring it forth very direct for you so
you can spot it any time. It’s this simple. Anytime you’re asking a question of I don’t know
how to blank. That is the sign that you are in your inner doubter. There’s many, many other
signs of that but the very direct one of saying I don’t know equals inner doubter. I’m saying
that very slow for you because I want you to soak that in. Again, you’re saying, “I don’t
know how to blank.” Inner doubter. Anything with I don’t know really. I don’t know why soand-so does blank.
I get this question, as I said, a lot from clients. I will spin this question back on them so
fast, and I will say, “If you did know, what would you do?” You know what? They know. It’s
pretty incredible. I’m going to give you some examples. The first example, I just had a call
last night with somebody. “Lindsay, I don’t know where to go next in my career.” I said, “All
right. If you did know, what would be the qualities of this career that you have?” All of a
sudden, she starts listing them. “I want this and I want this and I want this and I want this.”
I said, “Okay, great. How much money do you want to make?” “I want to do this. I want my
schedule to look like this. I want to have this and this and this and this.”
I said, “You know what? You always knew all along where you wanted to go in your career,
you just didn’t believe you knew. Because you just kept telling yourself I don’t know, your
brain has to spin in that instead of writing it all down on paper and then saying, “Wow, this
is what I want to do.” I saw this just recently happened with another client who was
leaving, in essence very slowly and gradually, her day job, and she’s building a business. It
became this question ofI don’t know where to get clients. I said, “If you did know, what
would you do?” All of a sudden, boom, within seconds, she told me the answer.
I said, “Great. Why don’t you go do that?” The third client that I had recently, “Lindsay, I
don’t know how to get closer to my marriage.” I said, “If you didn’t know, what would you
do?” The answer out of her mouth, “I would start communicating more.” Great was my
response. “What does that look like for you?” “I would start listening more and I would
start telling him my feelings and I would do dah, dah, dah and dah, dah, dah and dah, dah,
dah.” I’m like, “Great. Awesome.” You see here, my friend, you always know. This is one of
the big things of coaching. As a coach, we’re always telling our clients you know the
answer, you just don’t trust it.
We had a whole other episode on this on the podcast. I think it was called Make Strong
Decisions. I was talking about that within seconds, your brain gives you the answer that
you truly want. We know this is true because if I say, think of a pink elephant, you’re
probably thinking of a pink elephant, right? It brings it to the surface. If I said, “Where do
you want to go in your marriage?” The answer comes up within seconds. Boom. the
problem is that you don’t trust that. Again, it goes back to that inner doubter.
That inner doubter who’s giving you the story of I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if
you can really do these kinds of things. I don’t know if you can really be the kind of person
that has XYZ, and so you just spin in it. It’s called an indulgent emotion. I’m going to do a
whole podcast on indulgent emotions coming up, but really an indulgent emotion again is
something that’s keeping us comfortable. Even though it makes us uncomfortable to spin
in confusion, we’ve likely been doing it for so long that it’s become like a warm blanket to
us.
It’s like, “Oh, I love spinning in confusion. I do it all day long,” versus what happens when I
get these clients out of confusion, likely within minutes, then what comes up? The true
emotion and 9 times out of 10, it’s fear. If we go back to the client I had last night and I
said, “Where do you want to go in your career? Let’s list all the qualities.” She did. Then the
true thing comes out. “Lindsay, I’m really secretly scared of success.” I’m like, “That’s what
we need to coach on. That’s the thing that’s holding you back. It’s not that you don’t know
where to go. It’s that you deep down have this fear of success and we need to figure out
why.”
Because she was fearing success, which so many of us do, I had this fear for a very long
time of success that it took me months and months to chip away at to really figure out the
depth of it and overcome it. Then that’s where the hard work is. If we look at my client
who is transitioning from her day job to a business and she’s like, “Okay, now I’m going to
go out and I’m going to go to these groups and present my services.” All of a sudden,
boom, fear. What are people going to think about me? That was what we really needed to
coach on.
That’s what we have been coaching on week after week about what her family’s going to
think about her, what her friends are going to think about her, what society in a whole is
going to think about her, what she thinks about herself because in essence, she’s leaving
part of her self-identity behind. She has known herself to be somebody in this role for a
really long time and that’s what she’s been raised around and everyone’s like, “Damn, girl.
You’ve made it. Why the hell would you change?” She’s even asking herself, “Why would I
change?”
She has talked herself out of making this transition time and time again over the past few
weeks with me and I keep bringing her back like, “Is something inside of you that says you
want to do this?” The real work, as I said, again, has been that fear of what other people
think and that’s the work. We go back to the client who says, “I want to improve my
marriage.” Then so we say, “Great. Where do you want to go?” “Oh, I need to communicate,”
dah, dah, dah. Then what pops up? The fear of being vulnerable. The fear of rejection. The
fear of giving it her all and it not working out. That’s the core issue here. It’s not the
confusion. It’s never ever, ever, ever, ever the confusion.
Two more examples I want to give you here. Had a client months ago. Very similar thing
about the job thing. “Lindsay, I don’t know where to go.” She was spinning for months if
not years at this point with this job that she just did not feel good about and just went
back and forth. Within an hour, I had that girl on an authentic path for her because again, it
wasn’t the confusion. She knew where to go. She just needed somebody to bring it out of
her and say, “No. No more confusion.” That’s, again, the value of a coach, my friends. It
kicks your butt because your brain just wants to stay and spin in that. It feels good to just
spin in the confusion instead of getting to work.
Now, that girl I coached months ago, she’s gotten that job that she wanted but now a
whole new level of crap has come up for her because I only got to coach her that one time.
It was this weird little special thing I was doing at the time versus a longer package. She’s
emailed me and she said, “Now I feel really crappy in the job even though I know this is
what I want.” I’m like, “Yes, that’s the real work. That’s the work that you were avoiding
because you just want to spin in confusion.” So many times too, we think, “Oh, if I just have
this thing in my life, if I have this job or if I have this relationship or I just feel this, then
I’m going to “be better or feel better”.”
What happens is if we don’t deal with it now, we just bring it to the next day. I saw this
when I left my former relationship with my daughter’s father. I always get that confused.
My daughter’s father. I just thought it was all him. I knew I had some stuff to work on and I
worked on that. Then what happened was as I got settled into my marriage now with my
husband, some of that crap popped up. Its little ugly head came out. It was like, “Lindsay,
here you are again acting the same way you did in that last relationship and you thought it
was his fault but it was really on you. This is the work that you didn’t really know that you
had.”
Again, that’s going on a different tangent there. Then I’m going to bring you back to, again,
it’s never the confusion. There’s something deeper there that’s really the core issue.
Another example I’m going to give you. Had a client that I worked with last year, about a
year and a half ago now, I guess. The one thing that she wanted to know where to go with
communication with her family. She knew right away where she wanted to go. I wasn’t at a
point yet in my coaching where I coach her hard enough to get it really quick because I
was coming back from maternity leave.
My coaching style was a lot more hand-holding, I guess, at the time. Anyways, we spent a
couple of months on getting her to really figure out where she wanted to go when she
knew the whole time that she wanted to cut off communication with this part of her
family. She made that choice and she felt really good about it and I’ve been coaching her
through it whenever she felt unsure about it. Then the next thing came up where she’s
like, “I don’t know what to do with my relationship, with my dating relationship.” At this
point, I’m at a different place in my space as a coach. I said, “You do know and you’ve
known this whole time. You need to make a decision from that place and go.”
She did not like my answer. You know why? Because she likes spinning in confusion. She
liked taking months and months and months to just spin in it. Again, you know where to go
right now on whatever question you have that starts with an I don’t know. You know where
to go but there’s something deeper there and that’s the work. For a lot of people, as I said,
it’s that fear that comes up for them. For a lot of them, they think, “I’m scared of looking
stupid. I’m scared what if I get it wrong? What if I should have made the other choice?”
That’s the beauty of life.
Sometimes we do get it wrong. Sometimes we do mess up but we don’t know until we try.
What’s going to eat you more is not ever having tried. One of the quotes that stuck out to
me even as a young kid from the show Frasier and it was the dad’s character on the show.
He said something along the lines once that he was talking to Frasier, his son, on the
show, and he said, “You know, son, it’s not the times that you mess up that you regret as
you get older. It’s the times when you didn’t even try.” I just remember as a kid hearing
that and it stuck with me ever since.
Every time I’m in these moments where I get this fear and I think, “Oh my gosh, am I going
to mess this up? Am I going to do this wrong?” I go back to that quote and I think, “I know
where to go and I’m just going to do it.” For a long time in my former relationship, I spun
in leaving that relationship. This is even before me finding out he had a double life and all
that. There were, gosh, at least a year, looking back, it probably was many years, where I
knew the relationship needed to end. Especially that last year I went to therapy week after
week just trying to find some sort of reason to leave the relationship.
Although it was heartbreaking when I found out about the cheating, it was so relieving too
because it was like, “Oh, I can leave this relationship,” because that is deep down what I’ve
wanted to do all along. At the same time, I didn’t want to feel the pain of just leaving the
relationship, the heartbreak of that because even if I wanted to leave, it’s still sad. At that
point, we had a daughter and I was scared to death to raise her “on my own” and be a
single mom and support myself. I didn’t have the belief in myself enough that I could do
that on my own.
Yet I knew all along and I wasted so much time and so much energy during at least that
year, as I said, but likely longer than that just spinning in the confusion of it because,
again, it’s not really about the confusion. It’s about the fear underneath that that you just
don’t want to deal with. I’m going to say this here and I know I’ve said it before in the
podcast. If you really think about it, the thing that we’re fearing the most is just feeling an
emotion that we don’t want to feel of something like sadness, disappointment, humiliation,
shame, anger.
Sometimes we don’t mind feeling anger because it feels powerful but some of those
“lower-level frequency emotions” that I just mentioned, they feel uncomfortable and they
make us feel powerless. Our brain goes to this very extreme place of those emotions,
again, make us weak and that can make us susceptible for death. A lot of times, they don’t.
Even then, when my brain will go there and say, “Oh, this is so scary. You could hurt
yourself or somebody else or death or whatever,” I then will call my brain in essence and
say, “I’m not that scared of death.”
Even though my brain is over-exaggerating and it’s like, “Death is a very extreme
circumstance,” even then I’ll take that off the table and be like, “Death isn’t really even that
bad.” This goes back to biology. In the very first hundreds of thousands of years, we were
cave people. If we didn’t get along with our tribe, then we were, in essence, shunned away,
and then it was likely death because we needed one another to survive. Now our world is
so connected, we can’t survive on our own. Say your immediate tribe says, “Peace out,” says
that I don’t want to be around you, there’s so many other tribes you can find online, you
can move. I experienced this a lot.
In the next episode or the episode that came up before this about processing politics, I
talked about some of this. I talk about I live in Texas. Texas, my entire life, has been a
republican state. I’ve grown up and mostly, all of my friends have been a different political
party than I’ve been. It has been so scary for me to even ever mention politics. In college, I
remember breaking that I was a Democrat. I went to TCU, which is, again, a very
conservative college with a lot of old money and that old money came from things like
ranching and stuff.
When it came out I was a Democrat, they were like, “You can’t tell anybody else, Lindsay. If
you put any stickers and stuff on your car–” because at the time, it was an election year, I
think it was Bush and Kerry at the time, they were like, “Your car is going to get
vandalized. Don’t tell anybody else,” kind of thing. Of course, that fed my anxiety. I was so
scared to come out and say that kind of stuff to people because I was scared of the
rejection. What does rejection mean to the brain? It means potential death. This is just
what happens and we have to be aware of it.
We have to be bigger than our brain and we have to say things like, “I’m not confused. I
know exactly where I need to go. I trust myself.” That’s one thing I’m working on a lot right
now with clients. So many of them are building these beliefs in themselves that they trust
themselves. One client specifically that I have right now, she has been really working on
this for a couple of months with me. Her wins last week that she posted are things like, “I
stood up in this meeting, and everybody’s taking more seriously, and this and this and this
and this.” I said, “Oh my gosh, are you seeing now how you’re trusting yourself?”
The benefits of just changing that one thought in your brain of you doubting yourself to
you now trusting yourself, now you’re getting this place of even more massive action.
You’re getting even more of the results that you want. You’re feeling even better in the
process. You’re feeling authentic and great. This is it. It goes back to trusting ourselves. If
we don’t trust ourselves, then, oh my gosh, that’s where again that inner doubter comes in
and we just spin in that confusion over and over and over and over. Then what? I see with
people all the time. They spend years upon years of just the same shit different day.
Just like I said, the client I talked to last night, she was a former client from years and years
and years ago. She’s coached with me before but swore didn’t. Anyway, I didn’t get to give
a really great result. She came to me last night. I was like, “What’s been going on?” It’s the
same shit different day. Yes, of course, little things have changed here and there but it’s
not been this huge, massive shift of like, “Oh, I’ve done this. Oh, I’ve already done this.” It’s
just like, “Oh my gosh, it’s been years now where it’s just been the same thing over and
over again.”
I called her out and I said, “Listen, you want to change these things in your life, words are
not enough. How many more years are you going to go on like this? The reason why you
don’t have this stuff isn’t because of the economy isn’t because of this thing that happened
or that thing that happened, it’s because your mindset is crappy. If you want to change that
stuff, then we’ve got a sit-down and we got to get to work. Do you want to make this
happen or not?” She’s like, “I’m really thinking that I’m ready.” I’m like, “Great because I am
so ready for you.” I am tired of seeing people who are living the same damn life year after
year.
It’s one thing if you love your life, and you’re like, “Oh, just let me ride this wave.” Great.
Awesome. Ride that wave, baby. Go for it. If you’re riding a wave where it feels shitty, stop.
It does not have to be that way. It does not have to be that way. I’m thinking of another
person. Again, like I had a consult call with her about a year and a half ago, she ended up
not signing with me. Then we reconnected earlier this spring. She’s fine with me. At the
time, it was the very last few weeks that I was offering self-study. She signed up for selfstudy. She started that sort of, and then she’s flaked off. She reached back out to me. She’s
like, “Oh, I flicked off on this and dah, dah, dah, dah.’
I said, “Okay, do you really want to go on? Here we go.” She’s like, “Oh, no, I can’t. The
money and dah, dah, dah.” I’m thinking in my head, and I even told her this. I was like,
“What’s the cost of you just spinning in the same shit every freaking day? Because at this
point during the period that I’ve known you, you’ve stayed pretty much the same. You’re
not any closer to these goals that you say you want. You’re not any closer to being the
person that you say you want to be, your next level of you, and yet you’re sitting here just
like no big deal, which again, is fine if you want to be there. If you don’t want to be there,
you really want to go after your goals and dreams, you got to stop with the confusion.”
The way that it stops is quit saying I don’t know and start saying, “If I didn’t know where
would I go?” Follow those breadcrumbs. Like I said, with all those examples I gave, I want
to improve my marriage. Great. Where do you start? Boom, start with communication. Then
what trips people up to is they’ll take those first few steps, and then it feels really
uncomfortable and “hard.” Then they give up. Then they go back into the doubt again. The
brain says, “See, it’s too hard. You can’t do it. He’s never going to change,” or you see,
you’re never going to get that job. You’re never going to get the client. See, see, see.
I even got called out on this on my own coaching, is I was talking about how last month in
my business, I did not hit my goal. You’ve heard me on the podcast recently, especially, I’m
talking about like, “Yes, April, I hit this and May, I hit this and June and July. August was
huge and September was good and then October, shit.” [chuckles] I did not even come
close to my goal. Then I had some weird setbacks. I had a client who quit, which has never
happened. I had one client who signed up and then immediately wanted a refund because
she freaked the eff out. Again, never had that happened.
I went to the coach, and I said, “I have this October, and it just didn’t go as planned. My
fear now is this isn’t going to work. Straight up, I’m done. End of the story. I’ve had a good
run. See you later, Lindsay. You’re on to the next adventure.” As we’re coaching, I start
catching in myself that really deep down, I still don’t believe that I’m going to be able to
be a coach forever and ever and this is going to just continue to grow. It took my breath
away. I was like, “Oh my gosh, I’m still doubting this. I’m still thinking that it’s done.” I told
the coach, I said, “I’m realizing that the past few months my doubter has been more quiet
because I’ve hit the results, I have not exceeded the results.”
It calmed her and she’s like, ‘Okay, you proved me wrong, Lindsay. I’ll go sit back in the
corner.” The second the result doesn’t happen the way I want it to, she’s back rearing her
ugly head again, “See, Lindsay, it’s not going to happen. It’s not going to go the way you
want it to. You better be prepared. That’s the end of this journey.” It was so enlightening to
me of, “Wow, I still deep down, believe more that this isn’t going to work versus it does
work.” Luckily, I know how to coach myself through that and get through that. For other
people, A, they won’t even recognize that’s there, that it’s just a thought and it’s not the
truth.
So many people think their thoughts are like the news and they’re facts, which anymore,
we know the news is not even fact. They just think it’s fact when it’s just a thought that
this isn’t working. It’s just a thought that I’m not going to get the career I want. It’s a
thought, “I’m not going to have the marriage I want.” It’s not a fact. Ever. Even if you look
at the stats, and the stats may be against you. I talk about this all the time on the show.
You can still be the one that goes against the grain. Somebody has to do it, why not you?
These are the people who get what they want. They don’t let anything external to them
stop them.
They just decide this is what I’m going to create out of my life and then they go and effing
do it. That’s the power of decision. We think sometimes that decision is not that important
or it’s silly for us just to decide ahead of time before we see the results in our hand, but we
have to decide beforehand. Otherwise, the results are going to be that much harder. The
example I’ve been giving lately is I decided at the end of March when the whole
Coronavirus thing hit was I’m going to make this my 200k year. This is the year. Then all of
a sudden, I just started making decisions from that place.
Since then, I haven’t sold in a month or so but I’ve made 117K. That was basically April,
May, June, July, August, September. In six months, I made 100k. Oh my gosh, crazy, right?
Because I just decided. I’ve realized in the past few months time and time again how many
times I get something or somebody else gets something just because they decide. It goes
back to that self-coaching model I keep teaching on the podcast. If you’re a client of mine,
you’re nodding your head. Yes. Our thoughts are the things that eventually become our
results but we have to diminish that inner doubter in the process even when things don’t
go away and still go back to the beliefs we want to believe.
If I go back to my example of I didn’t hit my October goal. Then that belief comes up,
“Lindsay, this isn’t going to work. It’s done. You’re dried up. See you later.” Now I know, it’s
like, “Oh, those beliefs are still there. I just need to do more work on believing what I want
to believe and giving more airtime to that and programming that in my brain longer and
stronger so that those brain wires will be stronger than the wires who tell me this isn’t
going to work. I want to believe those beliefs no matter what my circumstances are. I need
to just focus in there.” Let’s do a quick recap real fast.
First thing, if you’re asking, I don’t know, or you’re stating it, you do know. If somebody is
asking you the question, imagine you and I are coaching here. If you did know, what would
you do? Make a decision from that place and start taking action from there. Then watch
the next level of emotions come out. The true emotions, which is likely fear. Then start to
say, “How am I going to get over this fear?”Because anything is figureoutable, it’s a quote
from Marie Forleo. Anything. You can overcome anything, but you have to believe in
yourself enough to know that you can overcome it.
I can absolutely get you over anything for sure for the most part. [laughs] I feel like that’s
really broad claim. For the most part, I can get you over anything, but you have to believe
in yourself enough to do it. That’s why, again, some people are like, “Oh, the money,
Lindsay, the money. I don’t know about the money in coaching.” It’s like, “You don’t believe
in yourself enough, or maybe you don’t believe in me or you don’t believe in the product
enough because otherwise if you got the results that you say that you want, the money is
nothing because the results that you want are so much more valuable than whatever the
money is.” Think about that.
I’m letting you pause to really set that in because that’s why they say no. It’s like, “Oh, I
don’t believe I can get it.” That’s why I start guaranteeing results my friend is because I
want you to start to go into anything that you invest in. Money-wise, time-wise, whatever,
and say, “I’m going to get this result.” It’s a mindset thing more than anything else of just
deciding I’m going to make this happen. I did another podcast episode. I think it was called
guaranteeing results maybe. I’ll put it in the show notes. I talk about this of you go in and
say, “I’m going to make this the best investment. I’m going to get X result from this.” When
you decide like that, that’s when you’re going to get the result.
One thing I’m doing in my life right now is my marriage. I decided I’m going to have a 10
marriage. That’s what I’m going to do. I’ve put a timeline on it. If this next year I want to
get to a 10 marriage, but I’m open. If it takes longer, great. I’m pretty committed to that
one year though and so I have brought up all the fears with that of, “Oof, what if I get
rejected? What if I don’t end up having a 10 marriage? What if it makes me realize I need
to have a divorce instead.” I’ve just decided I’m going to make the marriage I have with my
husband Jason a 10. I’m going to do everything in my power to make it a 10.
I’m getting to work and it is uncomfortable. Let me tell you, it is uncomfortable because
it’s so easy for us to blame everything else. As I said earlier, with jobs and stuff, Oh,
Coronavirus, economy, whatever. When you put it on yourself and say, “I’m actually the one
that’s holding myself back, I’m the one that has the power here,” it’s so freeing and yet so
scary at the same time. Here’s the thing. There’s no such thing as confusion. You always
know where you need to go, but it’s just you don’t want to deal with the underlying
feelings of them. Start to ask yourself, how am I going to deal with those feelings? Know
I’m always here to help you.
If you’re ready to take the step and make these changes happen, I would love to work with
you. I would love to give you the results that you want in your life and more. I said it on
other podcasts, on a consult call with me, we’re going to talk about where you’re at now,
where you want to be in your 10 life, what do you want to get from coaching that makes it
the best investment ever? Then what I do is I’ll say, “Okay, here’s what we can guarantee,
and here’s what I’m going to give you on top of that.” Pretty cool. 100% success rate or
happy client success rate although I did have that one client quit, but she was once a
successful client who is very satisfied.
She’s just in a funky headspace right now. I’m hoping she comes out of it. Oh, I miss her so
much, but her inner mean girl has really beaten her up on some stuff. Yes, I would love to
work with you. I would love to make this the best investment of your life. I would love for
you months from now to be like, “Wow, that was the moment in time when everything
changed. Lindsay got me out of my confusion. She got me into action. I dealt with all the
things that I once thought were so scary and now they seem like nothing. Now I have the
results that I want. Now I can move on to the next thing.”
How cool is that? Never have to be stuck again. I tell my clients that all the time. Once
they learn, especially that first 90-day process that I teach them, that’s the process where
you never, ever, ever have to be stuck again. That’s why we call it become unstoppable
woman because you’re constantly overcoming anything. It’s so much fun. It’s hard work at
times and it’s uncomfortable at times, but, man, does it feel good to know you never have
to feel stuck. I hate feeling stuck and confusion to me is a stuck feeling. It sucks, doesn’t it?
As I said, with my former relationship, I was there for years. I hated it. I just felt like,
“Damn, I just want to move forward with my life,” but I was just too scared to listen in on
where I needed to go. Man, it was so great just somebody ripping that band off for me and
saying, “Listen, you can’t stay in this relationship even if you tried. He’s done, he’s moved
on and he did it in this really nasty way.” Thank God I found coaching after that to help me
with all these other decisions and support me along the way. As I keep saying, I have a
coach in my arsenal all the time because I love just somebody looking at my brain in a
different way.
Like I said, the session I had last week where she was like, “Hey, you realize that you don’t
really believe in this as much as you think you do.” I’m like, “Oh my gosh, thank you. I
totally did not sweat that.” That’s it, my friends. Today I helped you stop feeling confused. I
hope this is helpful for you. I hope you now know you never have to be confused again. I’m
sending you so much love as you break through your confusion and know I’m here to help
you however you need it. All right. That’s it for now. Bye.
[music]
Hey there, Miss Unstoppable. Thanks so much for tuning into this episode. If you enjoyed
it, share it with a friend. Send them a picture of this episode via text, via email, share it on
social media, I’m sure they would be so appreciative to know these strategies and tips on
how to accomplish your dreams. If you are ready to guarantee you’re going to accomplish
your goals and dreams, then it’s time to start coaching with me.
In my nine-month simple success coaching system, I am going to walk you every single
step of the way to ensure that you get the goals and dreams that you want. The first step is
to apply for a free 60-minute consult call. Just go to LindsayEpreston.com/apply to get
started. As always, my friend, remember, you’re only as unstoppable as you believe you can
be, so believe in yourself. You got this.
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