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OVERCOME OVERWHELM

I’m often managing feelings of overwhelm. But, I’m fortunate that when I get to feeling that way, I know how to pull myself out of it quickly and easily. If you’re someone who’s feeling overwhelmed or you’re like me and you experience overwhelm often, today’s episode is for you.

OVERCOME OVERWHELM

Dec 21, 2020 | MINDSET | 0 comments

“We always have control over our thoughts. We just have to be aware of them.”

Overcome Overwhelm

You may not initially believe this about me, but I’m someone who can feel overwhelmed often.  

I’m not naturally a detail-oriented person and lots of sensory things (like crowds, noise, etc) quickly drain me.  

I’m also someone who’s very growth-oriented so I’m consistently stretching myself to do more.  

I push my mind and body often to the extreme to see how much I can take so I can then learn how much was too much.  (Gotta love those go-getter tendencies)

With that said, I’m often managing feelings of overwhelm.  But, I’m fortunate that when I get to feeling that way, I know how to pull myself out of it quickly and easily.  

If you’re someone who’s feeling overwhelmed (as many people are during the holidays and throughout 2020) or you’re like me and you experience overwhelm often, today’s “Become An Unstoppable Woman” podcast episode is for you.  

IN THIS EPISODE, I SPECIFICALLY TEACH:

  • Why overwhelm happens (Spoiler: it’s not why you think)
  • The first step you MUST do when you feel overwhelmed that can help you feel better almost instantly at times
  • How to prevent overwhelm in your life
  • What to do to heal from overwhelm 

…and so much more

Listen via the link at the top of this page.

To accomplishing with ease!  

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

Apply to coach with me

Continue the conversation in my free online community

Get The 4-Day Accomplish Your Dreams Free Training 

What Does Overwhelm Mean?

Full Transcript

This is the Become an Unstoppable Woman podcast with Lindsay Preston Episode 91,
Overcome Overwhelm.

[music]

Welcome to the Become an Unstoppable Woman podcast, the show for goal-getting, fearfacing women for kicking ass by creating change. I’m your host, Lindsay Preston. I’m a wife, mom of two, and a multi-certified life coach to women all over the world. I’ve lived through enough in life to know that easier doesn’t always equate to better. We can’t fear the fire, we must learn to become it. On this show, I’ll teach you how to do just that. Join me as I challenge you to become even more of the strong, resilient, and powerful woman you were meant to be. Let’s do this.

[music]

Hey there, Ms. Unstoppable. If you’re listening to this episode, then you may be feeling a little overwhelmed right now, or you are just a smart cookie who says, “I’m going to learn how to not feel overwhelmed as much in my life because when I’m in that space, it kind of stinks.” I’m somebody who can quickly and easily get to an overwhelmed space. If you know the Enneagram, I’m an Enneagram 5. Anytime I get into my stress space, I get a
seven, and I’m just scattered, and I’m all over the place. I’m doing things halfway, and that’s just not the way my brain is built. I really think that I have a sensory processing disorder maybe, or maybe I’m on the autism spectrum a little bit. I know my dad definitely is. I just get overwhelmed really easily. When I get overwhelmed, it’s like this whole other layer because, again, I’m somebody who can get overwhelmed pretty quickly. If I go to a really crowded place or if I hear a lot of noises or I smell a lot of things, it’s very draining for me.

I’m a goal-oriented person. I’m somebody who’s constantly stretching myself and getting out of my comfort zone, and that’s a layer of stress. Then I’m a parent, and I have a two-year-old and a 10-year-old. They have their own struggles and things that I have to manage with them. Then I’m a wife, and then I have a business, and then we’re going through a global pandemic, all the things. I am here with you. I know what it feels like to feel overwhelmed,
but what I’m going to teach you today has helped me out so much because anytime I’m getting to that space where it’s like, “Whoa, I’m feeling really overwhelmed right now,” I know how to pull myself out of that.

Because I just believe that if you’re a growth-oriented person who wants big goals and dreams for your life, you’re going to sometimes have overwhelm because you just have to learn sometimes of how much you can take on at one time to then realize a little too much. Let’s back it down a bit. So it’s very important that when you do hit that space, you can get yourself out of there pretty quickly and easily.

Just last week, I was feeling very overwhelmed, and I ended up having a little meltdown on my husband, which felt very nice to do that. I didn’t really get too mad at him, but it was just nice to let some tears fall and really realize that I was overwhelmed. Then when I realized it, I was like, okay, now I know what to do to get myself out of this space. Now I feel like I’m in a completely different place this week because I’ve done the stuff I’m going to teach you, so it works.

Take notes. Remember this. It’s so important because I hate hearing when women are in overwhelm for a long period of time, for years on in. Let’s face it. 2020 has been kind of a shit show in some ways of how much can we put on people’s plates, including working moms of little ones. Those are the ones that I’m seeing as having the most overwhelm because it’s not like– With my ten-year-old daughter, I can say, “Hey, go do your homework on your own. Go watch something on your own.”

With my two-year-old son, I’ve mentioned it more on the show before, but he’s like on a suicide mission all the time. I have to keep my eyes on him a lot. It’s another layer of stress to manage while working and doing all the other things that we do in our life while managing to take care of ourselves. I’m totally in here with you. I totally got it, but let’s learn together how to not get to that space and stay in that space. You’re ready? Let’s do it.

First thing I want to talk about is overwhelm does not come from our circumstances. It comes from our thoughts about our circumstances. Now if you listen to the show often, you know what I’m talking about. You’re a client of mine, you know what I’m talking about, but we forget this often. We like to blame everything else like, “Oh, I’ve got the Christmas party. I’ve got to do this at work. The kids are driving me crazy, and you’re not really helping around the house,” and dah, dah, dah.

Granted, yes, we may have a lot on our plates, and people may not be showing up in the way that we want them to, but again, it goes back to our thoughts. We always have control over our thoughts. We just have to be aware of them, first off. If you’re starting to think thoughts like, “This is too much,” even just a direct thought of, “I’m overwhelmed.” I can’t breathe is one that I tend to have sometimes of like, “I just can’t breathe.” If you’re having- I don’t know.

Everybody has their own thoughts they go to when they’re overwhelmed. For some of my clients, I hear them say a lot of times like, “I’ve hit a wall. I’m really stressed. I can’t even think.” They have their own go-to thoughts when they’re heading to that overwhelm. For me, the big thing is just like, “I’ve got a lot on my plate.” Even me just thinking that, I’ll find the anxiety creeping up.

Right now, I don’t feel that way, but me just saying that thought, right now I’m starting to feel a little anxiety. Again, start to realize, what are my go-to thoughts when overwhelm is coming or I’m already at that place, and catch yourself. Then catch yourself and say, “Is it really true? Do I have too much on my plate?” Because sometimes for me, it’s not really true. It’s just like for whatever reason, my brain just suspend in that and make it even
harder for me. I know brains are so– They’re so not helpful sometimes, right? I have to catch myself and say, “Okay, Lindsay, is there truly too much on your plate, or is this just a thought error in essence that your brain is serving you, and it doesn’t really help you out?”

Then I’ll say, “What does serve me?” Is like, “I have more than enough time to get everything done. I got this. I’ll have time at X-day, at X-time to relax, so right now I’m just keep moving and grooving, and everything will be good.” Maybe I’ll just say, “I’m going to take some time to breathe right now.” I have one client right now. Every time I get on the phone, she’s such a go-getter, and she’s like, “Dah, dah, dah.”

I have to tell her many times on our calls, “Breathe. Just slow down and breathe.” You better believe it, a lot of times she’s saying, “I just feel so overwhelmed. I feel so overwhelmed.” I’m like, “I know. Breathe.” If we can just tap back into our breath, [sighs] just take a couple of seconds and slow down, that’s a great way to stop those snowballing thoughts that are going to lead to feelings of overwhelm.

Just again, our circumstances don’t create overwhelm. It’s our thoughts that create the feeling of overwhelm. If we can catch what thoughts they are, we can then say, “Do these thoughts serve me or not, and what would serve me instead?” Seems very simple, and yet I have to do a lot of coaching on this with my peeps. My peeps meaning my clients. For some reason, it just takes a while for people to get this in our brains. We’re taught that our circumstances are what cause our feelings, and it’s not true. It’s our thoughts. Always look at your thoughts. What are my thoughts here, and does it serve me to think those things?

Now what if you really are in overwhelm? You catch these thoughts. You are like, “Yes, I definitely have too much on my plate, things going on.” What do you need to do? Number one is you need to constrain. Overwhelm is coming from a place where you’re, again, just taking on too much. You need to ask yourself, “What are my top priorities?

When I get to this space, especially where I feel like I’m just pulled everywhere, I’ll say, “What’s my number 1?” 9 times out of 10 for me, my number 1 is showing up as authentic Lindsay. Not showing up as half-ass Lindsay because if I’m doing a podcast, and then I’m mothering, and then I’m doing client calls, and I’m being a wife, and blah, blah, blah, and I’m showing up and I’m all sporadic, what’s the point? It’s not the way that I want to show
up in the world.

Then for me, it goes back to, I’ve got to take care of myself. My number one priority is taking care of myself so I can be that best Lindsay when I show up. It doesn’t mean perfect Lindsay. It means where I’m showing up in a way where it’s actually going to be helpful that I’m doing the things that I’m doing. There are times when you have so much on your plate where it’s just like, again, you’re slopping things together. Then you do all these things but it’s sloppily done, and not in a way where it’s not perfect again, but it’s just not done well. It would even be better if you just didn’t do it.

Again, it’s what my number one priority? For some people, they’ll say, “It’s my family and showing up for my family.” Or, “My number one priority getting this project done at work that’s due on Friday.” “My
number one priority is taking care of my aging parent or my child who’s sick.” I don’t know, but you just figure out what’s your number one priority and even make a priority list from there like, “Here’s number one. Here’s number two. Here’s number three.” Then when you see some of the things near the bottom of the list, it’s like, “Can I cut this stuff? Why am I doing this? Can I let this stuff go?” This comes back to setting boundaries.

Sometimes for people with high people pleaser, this is very hard for them to go in and set the boundaries. This is a common pattern for people pleasers is to take on too much and not perform well, and then they feel resentful, and they feel overwhelmed in the process. Then again, everybody’s left a little feeling funky at the end of it because nobody really got what they wanted. It just goes back to what I just said of like, when you half-ass things,
if you’re like, “Oh, I’m so glad she did that,” but really, they’re like, “I wish she almost wouldn’t have.” Start to set boundaries. What can I cut here? Also ask yourself, “Where can I ask for help?”

It is so hard for women, especially go-getter women, to ask for help. I know because I am one. I’ve really had to just get used to the fact that sometimes it’s just too much for me. It’s just that I need other people to help me out, even just little things. My mother-in-law was in town for Thanksgiving week, and as I’m cooking and stuff, she’s always like, “Hey, Lindsay. Do you need help with anything? Is there anything I can do?” I used to be like,
“Nope, I got it. I’m okay. I’m okay.” Last week when she was here, I was like, “Yes, come on. Help me out. Do you want to cut the pepper? That would be so helpful.” Even though, again, it’s little bitty stuff, it helps me reserve my energy a little bit more so that I don’t get to that space of overwhelm.

I might get tired. I might feel a little drained, but overwhelm is like, “Wow, you have completely emptied the bucket of any kind of energy that you have, and your head is likely spinning.” You just feel like, “Oh my gosh, I don’t know how I’m going to continue on,” kind of feeling. You feel so worn out, you’re probably going to get sick. You don’t want to get to that place. You want to catch it before that.

I listened to a parenting podcast. She talks about this on the podcast where she says, “Don’t let your kids get to meltdown phase. Catch before they get there. You know. You’ve seen the pattern over and over again. Get to where they’re at like level three on their almost meltdown versus level 10.” That’s where you want to get to is, “Okay, where am I at in my energy?”

I mentioned earlier in this podcast I’m an Enneagram 5, and so I’m constantly doing this. That’s one of the big things of 5 is managing the energy at all times. I do this to an extreme, but you want to do it too of where am I at with my energy levels? Am I heading in this space where I could get to overwhelm? Because when you do get to overwhelm, let’s face it, it takes a lot longer to recover from it, then it gets into almost like burnout. Sometimes you may even be having fun.

I had a launch in August. It’s for my Living the Dream program. I was doing a ton of consults for it. I love doing the consults, and I love doing the launch. It was so much fun, but it was also very draining on me. At the end of August when it was over that my body was like, “Whoa. Lindsay, you are way more tired than you even thought.” It took me a good month to recover from that and to really get on board and even longer, to be honest. It was like I really almost burnt myself out from that.

Again, start to manage where your energy is at, where you fall, and start to think, “Okay, where can I start to ask for help? What are really my top priorities?” This is, again, like a priority list, it’s going to be changing all the time likely of just different things that are on your plate, but I know for me, since I’m somebody who can be so work-oriented almost to a point where I’m a little addicted to work, that I’ve had to intentionally program in my mind that my family is number one. It comes before work no matter what.

That was something I really did this past year in 2020. Even though work and my family are pretty even on the priority list, I still intentionally tell myself, “My family is number one,” because otherwise, work would just take over my life. I just love it too much. I’m sorry. I do. I love it, but my family deserves the best of me, and I want to give that to my family too. It’s not just like I should be showing up in that way. I truly, truly want to show up that way. It’s just, for whatever reason, I’m programmed to be a little bit addicted to work. Again, find your priority list, see what you can cut, ask for help, set boundaries.

The other thing too is I really want you to incorporate in your life so you don’t ever overwhelm, but even if you do hit it, how to pull yourself out of it, is you go and do selfcare. I call this do-you-time in my coaching process. It’s really just doing the things that are going to fill your bucket. Some people think, “Oh, maybe it’s scrolling on my phone.” I
will tell you, most people they do not find they get energy back from scrolling on their phone. Get the F off devices. Even if you’re watching TV, it will maybe fill you up a little bit, but there are granted a lot more things you could be doing to fill up your bucket even more.

For me, one of the biggest things that fills up my bucket is getting coached. I’m the client, and I’m getting coached, especially for a whole hour with my coach that I’ve had forever because I just feel very comfortable with her. She does some energy stuff that I’m not quite aware of, and I don’t know if I quite believe in it, rekey stuff. I don’t know what it is, but afterwards on the sessions, I just feel like, “Wow.” I just feel like I’ve spent a whole day by myself. That’s how much energy I have. I also do things like journaling. That really helps fill my bucket. I take baths. I spend time in nature. I intentionally slow down. I intentionally take time to breathe. Those are things that recharge me and really feed into my soul.

This week, I just happen to have a hair appointment. Most times, going and getting my hair done doesn’t quite recharge me that well, but as I said, I was pretty overwhelmed about a week ago, and so just going and doing that gave me a boost. Find out what it is for you. Take time for that mental health. Really invest in your mental health, be it time, money, or both. That’s one thing I do love about coaching is it forces you to have time on your calendar for your mental health, and you’re putting your money where your mouth is.

You’ve got to show up and spend time with your mental health because you’re putting money there, and so you don’t want to waste your money. Those are the big things here to really cut your overwhelm.

I know this is one of those podcasts where there’s a lot more specific things based on your life of where to go with this because you may just listen to this and say, “How do I set better boundaries, Lindsay?” Or it’s easier for you to say to do self-care, and you’ll make excuses for you not doing it for yourself. This is where I wish we were in a one-on-one coaching session because we will be coaching through this if you are at a place of overwhelm and figuring out okay, what are the thoughts that are leading you there, what are the bigger patterns of behavior here that are leading you to overwhelm in your life. Because there’s some sort of belief that’s getting you to that place time and time again, you would be incorporating these tools. You would be filling up your bucket so you’re not as overwhelmed.

I had a coaching client last week, the one I was mentioning where I’m telling her to breathe often. She came to me, and she’s like, “I’m moving. This business is taking off. My boyfriend this,” and dah, dah, dah, all these things. It’s just everything’s happening at one time. Everything’s happening at one time. I hear that. That’s another good thought that I hear a lot from people with overwhelm. Everything’s happening at one time, because I hear that with another client right now too. I don’t know if that thought’s really serving. I brought that to her attention. I’m like, “Everything’s happening at one time. Does that really help you to think that because it seems like it’s causing a lot of anxiety.”

We coached through that. We brought it to her attention. Even though I kept trying to bring her out of a space of anxiety and overwhelm throughout our session, she kept going back there, and I had to coach her hard. She would go back there with her thoughts and stuff, and I’d be like, “Nope, you’re not catching it. You’re doing dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah.” She’d be like, “Okay.” Then she’d go there again with her thoughts, and I’d be like, “Nope, you got to bring yourself back there.”

I was like, “This is what needs to happen in the next 24 hours.” I was very strict with her. I was like, you need to go do dah, dah, dah, dah. Of course, she authentically agreed to that. It’s not like I’m just bossing her around. She’s like, “You’re right. Those are the things that feel authentic for me to do as well.” I said, “Okay, I need to see an email from you in 24 hours that you’ve done these things.” Part of that was cutting boundaries too because she’s
kind of a people pleaser, and she had to tell some people, “Hey, I’m not going to do blah, blah, blah, blah, blah like I said I would. I need to do this other thing instead.” That really helped her, in essence, stop the pattern of this overwhelm that she’s in.

Just know, you don’t have to live in a space of overwhelm. Life doesn’t have to be hard. I know with 2020 we’ve all just given each other a pass and just said, “Oh yes, we’re all overwhelmed, and oh well, that’s the best I can get.” Yes, has this year have a lot more on our plate? Absolutely, but you don’t have to suffer in the process of this. There are outlets for you to get help and to not feel overwhelm and to not feel like there’s so much on your plate. A lot of that goes back to mindset work and taking care of your mental health.

It’s just part of the game. Even if I wasn’t in this industry in coaching, I would be telling people all the time to go and take care of their mental health, if that’s with a therapist or with a coach. The thing is though what I hear a lot with people who go to therapy, and, of course, this is generalizing, is they go, they vent and then they leave, and they don’t really feel that much better. It was just like a venting session. Now, granted, the venting sessions can
be great. I love a good vent from time to time, but in coaching, people are venting in some way, and then they’re also changing patterns of behavior. Again, you can do that in therapy, but generally speaking for a lot of my clients are like, “I just felt like I was going and talking to a friend every week, and we weren’t really doing anything.”

Just know in coaching, at least coaching with me, it’s a totally different experience. We are going to break these patterns of why you even go to that place to begin with, and you’re going to be held accountable to not get to overwhelm again. Now, of course, it’s going to happen. Of course, it’s going to happen. I still get overwhelmed, like I said, but then I know how to pull myself out, and I’m very fortunate to have things on my calendar built in of,
“I’m feeling overwhelmed. Good. I’m glad I have a coaching session.” Or, “I’m feeling overwhelmed. Okay, good.” I’ve already built in that I do a certain amount of self-care every week so I can pull myself out of it.

All right, my friend. That’s all I have for this episode. I hope it helped you, and I will see you in the next one. Bye.

[music]

Hey there, Miss Unstoppable. Thanks so much for tuning into this episode. If you enjoyed it, share it with a friend. Send them a picture of this episode via text, via email, share it on social media, I’m sure they would be so appreciative to know these strategies and tips on how to accomplish your dreams. If you are ready to guarantee you’re going to accomplish your goals and dreams, then it’s time to start coaching with me.

In my nine-month simple success coaching system, I am going to walk you every single step of the way to ensure that you get the goals and dreams that you want. The first step is to apply for a free 60-minute consult call. Just go to LindsayEpreston.com/apply to get started. As always, my friend, remember, you’re only as unstoppable as you believe you can be, so believe in yourself. You got this.

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Hi! I'm Lindsay

Hi! I’m Lindsay Elizabeth Preston. I’m a certified & trauma-informed life & leadership coach who has spent the last decade helping successful women create lives that feel as good on the inside as they look on the outside by using my neuroscience-backed coaching process called, Awakened Woman.


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