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STOP OVERTHINKING

Learn how to quit sabotaging yourself from success and feeling wayyyy worse than what’s necessary by stopping the pattern of overthinking.

STOP OVERTHINKING

Jan 25, 2021 | MINDSET | 0 comments

“Stop overthinking. Get out there. Get dirty. Get into action. Go fail, because failure is the pathway to success.”

Overthinking Disorder

In the past 10 years of my life, I’ve created great success.  My life vision has come true.  I’m the mother I want to be, I have the partner I’ve always wanted, my family is complete, I love my job, I’m healthy, I’m spiritually connected, I know I can confidently get through anything life throws at me and I feel great (most of the time).  

There was one area of life though that I didn’t grow as much (until 2020) and that was the income in my business.

Granted when I started my business and made my 10-year vision, I wanted just enough money to minimally pay my bills and I got that.  But, I didn’t expand as much as some of my coaching peers did.

Looking back, it was because I was in a pattern of overthinking.

I doubted my offers, changed things up WAY too much, and I kept making excuses for why I wasn’t farther along in my business financially.

In the other areas of my life, I broke that overthinking pattern.  I trusted my intuition, made a decision and moved the heck on.  Sure, I “failed” along the way, but I was in action vs. sitting around thinking about things.  That action allowed my dreams to come true. 

If you’re someone who overthinks too, today’s episode is for you.  I’m teaching you how to stop overthinking.

IN THIS EPISODE, I SPECIFICALLY TEACH:

  • Why overthinking happens
  • How to know if you’re overthinking 
  • What to do to break the pattern of overthinking

…and so much more

Listen to this episode at the top of this page.

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

Apply to coach with me

Continue the conversation in my free online community

Get The 4-Day Accomplish Your Dreams Free Training 

MAKE STRONG DECISIONS episode

10-YEAR VISION episode

Full Transcript

Ways to Stop Overthinking

This is the Become an Unstoppable Woman podcast with Lindsay Preston Episode 97, Stop
Overthinking.

[music]

Welcome to the Become an Unstoppable Woman podcast, the show for goal-getting, fearfacing women for kicking ass by creating change. I’m your host, Lindsay Preston. I’m a wife,
mom of two, and a multi-certified life coach to women all over the world. I’ve lived
through enough in life to know that easier doesn’t always equate to better. We can’t fear
the fire, we must learn to become it. On this show, I’ll teach you how to do just that. Join
me as I challenge you to become even more of the strong, resilient, and powerful woman
you were meant to be. Let’s do this.

[music]

Hi there, Ms. Unstoppable. Happy to have you here on the show. I don’t know if you’ve
noticed this, but lately, when I start the show, I say Ms., M-S. Unstoppable. I realized for a
while I had said miss, and it was just something that came out of my mouth over and over
and over again. It was something that I didn’t even intentionally want to say. When I grew
up, I grew up in the ’80s and ’90s primarily, teachers had miss, Mrs., or, oh, my gosh, God
forbid, and Ms.

I remember one of our teachers in elementary had one, and we were all like, “What the
hell?” [chuckles] Which is so f’d up, right? As women, it shouldn’t be that we’re leading
with our marital status. We should be like men, and just be Mr., and everybody has to guess
unless they see our hands, if we even choose to wear a wedding ring.

I am intentionally making sure that I’m saying Ms., M-S, because that’s what I really want
to believe in and that we all go to that, even though I do enjoy being Mrs., M-R-S, Preston
from time to time. Again, it’s like, “Why do people need to know my marital status?”
Anyways, total side tangent. Today, we’re talking about overthinking. Now, I have had
great success in the past 10 years of my life. I’ve talked about that on the podcast
specifically, in the episode called 10-year Visions.

I talked about how when I was about 25, 26, I had my daughter. From that place of having
her and realizing, “Oh, my goodness, I need to get my life together, because I’m now a
mother,” I then put in place some visions that I wanted for my life over the next 10 years. I
just wrapped that up recently as I turned 36 in August. Again, it’s like I accomplished
everything I wanted and a little bit more in those 10 years except for one thing. That one
thing has been the income in my business.

Now, granted, when I first had my vision, I just thought, “Man, I would love a job that I
adore, and a job where I don’t feel like I’m dying a slow death as I go to work.” I did
accomplish that. Then it became, “Okay, well, I definitely need to make some money,”
especially, when my divorce happened with my daughter’s father. I thought, “Okay, I just
need to make,” I think it was like 32K a year. I know I tell this story all the time.
I did accomplish that, but then it became, “Okay, let’s make more money,” and for a long
time in my business, I just wasn’t. It wasn’t happening.

I just had a lot of programs, a lot of different freebies. I just had offerings all over the
place. I was always thinking of the next offer, the next thing I could put together, the next
name change, the next way to improve, instead of maximizing what I had. I told myself a
lot of times that I’m new. I was just figuring it out. I was evolving.

When six years hit in 2019, which would have been April 2020, excuse me, then it was like,
“Man, Lindsay, you’ve been at this coaching thing for six years.” Now, granted, I took some
time off in there, about two years, so maybe four years. Even still, I was like, “Damn,
Lindsay, four years.” I had seen many of my peers surpass me greatly financially. I asked
myself, “Why am I not making the six figures that I want? Why do I see my peers making
six figures, if not millions? I’m just as smart as they are, if not smarter, but why am I not
creating the results?”

I started to blame my family. I was like, “Well, I have focused on my family. It must be that.
That’s what’s holding me back,” but then I saw other moms doing it. That put that belief in
my brain is total BS. Then in 2020, I told myself, “No more. It’s the time to get to work,
Lindsay. It’s the time to make it happen, even with the global pandemic.” I made some
choices from that place. Then in 2020, I hit that six-figure mark.

Something clicked inside of me, and I really got very clear on what overthinking is and
what it isn’t and how I was doing it and how I was not doing it in other areas of my life,
and how I saw success. Then I started teaching that even more so to my clients, because
we had always touched on it, but because I had worked on it so much, I started giving
them more and more feedback, and I could spot it more in them as they were coming up
with this overthinking thing.

Today, I want to share that wisdom with you. I want you to get to a place where you
recognize what overthinking is, and then you know how to pull yourself out of that until
you see the consequences of it, because a lot of women that I meet, be it in my personal
life, or especially in my coaching life, where they’re my clients, is they think that
overthinking serves them. I had a client recently that was just going back and forth on
whether she should stay with a boyfriend for months on end.

If you’ve listened to my episode, I think it’s called Start Making Strong Decisions. I’ll link it
in the show notes, because that is a great compliment to this episode, because we know
just in a few seconds where we want to go. If I said, “Think of a pink elephant,” you would
think of a pink elephant, right? If I say, “Do you want to stay with the relationship or not?”
The first thing is going to come to your mind, and you’re going to have this initial gut
reaction of where you want to go.

Then, a lot of times, our brain likes to talk us out of that because if it’s a decision that’s
uncomfortable for us, requires us to face feelings we don’t want to face, then we sit in this
limbo phase when the actuality is, we know where we want to go. Total other topic, that’s
again, a great compliment to this one about making decisions. Today is specifically about
overthinking. Are you ready to get in on this one? Let’s do it.

Let me tell you where I wasn’t overthinking in my life, and the results I got there, and
where I was. As I mentioned, with my business is where it came out the most. I was just all
over the place with different offers and what I should and shouldn’t do. I was making so
many excuses in my brain. When I’m looking back, it was total overthinking.

What happened for me to shift into not overthinking in my business in 2020, as I said, I had
some help, but one of the big things was, make a decision and go with it, Lindsay. Have
one simple offer that you offer your clients. That’s it. All you do is promote that thing over
and over and over and over and over again. You don’t really change the offer. If you do,
you make one small tweak to it, and then you promote the hell out of that and see where
that goes. Then you make another small tweak and promote the hell out of that. You don’t
change all of these big things.

I was encouraged that my one simple offer was basically the best I could give my clients. If
you’ve been following me for a while, you know, in 2020, I made that shift. I have a ninemonth coaching process. It’s basically a one-on-one process. Then at the end, clients can
go into an ongoing coaching program, where they get ongoing support should they want
to. Okay. I cheated a little bit, but I do have two offers, but it’s either one offer right when
you start with me, and then one offer if you want to keep coaching with me. Okay. That’s
where I went.

Now, in my personal life, I did not have all of this overthinking and going in and out of
things and trying to change all this stuff. You could see that with my results. After I got a
divorce from my daughter’s father, I sat down, and I said, “Okay, what are my ideal qualities
in a partner?” I started writing them and making a list, and, boom, within weeks, I met my
now-husband. I didn’t really overthink it with him, because I had my list. My list came from
this place of my inner knowing that I always talk about here on the show, this intuition.

I didn’t question it. I just started putting things down on the list that made sense. Granted,
I would tweak things maybe a little bit here and there as I would start to date and stuff of
like, “Okay, maybe I should add this thing to the list or tweak this one thing a little bit.”
Then I would start to rank them in a priority. Like, I had in my list that somebody loves
music, and that was really lower on the list. When I met my husband– We have different
musical tastes. He likes country, I do not. I like pop. Totally fine. It wasn’t that big of a
deal.

Anyway, most men don’t like pop [chuckles]. Let’s be real. Again, with my husband, I didn’t
overthink it. It was just like, boom, here it is. Now, of course, did I have moments when I
thought, “Is this still the right one?” We talked about one time, or at least a couple of
episodes on the show, this inner mean girl called the Vacillator, where if something goes
“wrong,” your Vacillator will want to just completely pull out of something, goes into black
and white thinking of thinking something’s all good or all bad.

I’ve had to really work on my inner Vacillator with that, because there’s so many times
something happened with my husband, and I’m like, “F it. I’m out of here,” kind of thing,
when in reality, that wasn’t truly how I felt. Again, you’d be like, “Lindsay, didn’t you just
say earlier with decision making, we always know intuitively?” Yes, we do, but what’s tricky
is we have that inner mean girl voice that likes to come in and try and make it like it’s our
intuition when it’s really not.

That’s part of the coaching process, too, is we’ve got to clear out that inner mean girl and
get into that true authentic intuition inside of you. Totally other topic there. Let’s go back
to here. Again, as I said, with my husband, no overthinking, boom, it happened. With
coaching, it was the same thing. I was introduced to coaching, boom, made the decision
within days to sign up for coaching with my last few $1,000 that I had in the bank and
made that decision from there. There wasn’t overthinking with it.

Now, granted, after I made the decision, did I have that kind of, “Oh, what did I just do?”
feeling? Totally. That’s why most times when people sign up with me, I tell them that. I
say, “Get ready, you may have a little pushback from your brain for you just making this
investment.” Even if they do payment plans, because that’s not too big of a “uh” feeling,
but still, their brain will freak out, so I warn them on that.

Again, I took action. I didn’t overthink it. I just trusted that inner knowing, that inner
intuition, and I moved forward with it, and because of that, I found my job, my ideal career
a lot faster. I’m so glad that I did that. Okay. You see the variations here between the two?
It was like, I trusted my inner knowing, took action, boom, got it. I didn’t overthink it. When
I didn’t trust that inner knowing, I doubted the hell out of myself. I just spun in this
overthinking for years on end, whereas my peers in the coaching industry started to make a
lot more money than I did.

Okay. Why does overthinking happen? Well, it is in essence, a distraction. A distraction is
something you’re doing, but you don’t want to do it. Okay? It’s the same as eating for some
people. It’s the same as overworking or over-caretaking. Even love for some people. They
get those hits of those endorphins of love, and they’re addicted to that.

So many different things can be distractions. For a lot of people, it’s social media or TV.
Shopping, even, can be one. Gossiping can be one. Sex can be one for some people. Really,
at the end of the day, it goes back to that basic definition. I’ll say it again, a distraction is
something you’re doing that you don’t want to do, but you’re doing it anyway. Okay?

As you’re doing different things throughout your days, start to ask yourself after you do it.
“Did I really want to do that? Did I really want to go eat that cupcake? Did I really want to
scroll on social media? Did I really want to get another kitten?” That was a distraction I
had for my early 20s. I had four cats by the time I was 21. Yes, total problem. Those are the
things you’re doing, but you don’t want to do them anyway. Okay, overthinking is one of
them.

I’ll give you an example of when to catch when you’re overthinking because, for a lot of
people, they don’t know when it crosses the line from just thinking about something to
overthinking. They’ve likely done it for so long that it just feels like a normal behavior to
them. Okay? Recently, I had a client who reached out to me, and she wanted to terminate
the coaching relationship.

The reason that she wanted to was because she initially told me she wanted to work on
these two goals as we were going to work together over the next year. Then she decided
about, gosh, I think two months into the coaching agreement. She was an old client, too.
This is in my ongoing membership program. She decided, “No, I’m actually going to go and
invest in the career I have now. I’m not going to work on my other goal at all. In fact, I’m
going to do this whole other thing.”

I know her well enough, and I know how the brain works well enough that I came back at
her, and I said, “Listen, you’re totally talking yourself out of this stuff, because your brain is
freaking out. You say you want to go and invest in the career you have now. You hate the
career you have now. You have been talking about making the shift for a while now. You’re
going to do that, and your brain is freaking out, and it’s no big deal. Please don’t give up
on yourself.”

Because she even told me, “I’ll just keep paying the payments.” I was like, “No, you’re not
going to just keep paying the payments and not go after your goals and dreams. Not going
to happen, okay?” Well, I thought I handled it in a way that was really firm but really loving
and kind. The way that she took it, I guess, wasn’t very well, because she never replied to
me. She unfollowed me, unsubscribed from my stuff. She even blocked me on Instagram.

Then I ended up writing her back again. I said, “Listen, I’ve seen some of the actions you’ve
taken. I understand you’re upset. That’s just the way it goes. That’s why you hire me for. It’s
to say the things that nobody else is going to say to you. I know what you’re wanting here
at the end of the day, and what you’re saying you’re wanting now is just not it? It’s not
even in alignment at all.” Because sometimes people do shift their goals, and it makes
sense. This one did not make sense at all.

I said, “Listen, I’m not going to charge you any more, because that’s not what it’s about. It’s
about you going after your goals.” Still no response.

What happened is my brain just kept thinking about this over and over and over again. I
just started over-analyzing. “Did I say something wrong? Should I have said this
differently? What were my thoughts when I was writing those words? Had I come across as
angry?”

At that point, when I had written emails to her, I was checking in with myself. I was saying,
“Okay, Lindsay, intentionally, what are your thoughts here? How do you want to, in
essence, emote to her, even though it’s on email?” I kept checking in and making sure it
was coming from this authentic place. It wasn’t like I just reacted, and then later, I was
like, “Oh, my gosh.” I knew what I was saying was good stuff. Okay? Yet, my brain just
couldn’t put it down.

The reason why is, because she did react in a way that I didn’t think she would at all, at all.
We even had kind of a friendship among us, and she just poof, was totally gone. I started
just catching myself thinking about it over and over and over again. I knew at that point it
had gone into overthinking, because I was thinking about it when I didn’t want to, because
remember that distraction is you’re doing something, but you don’t want to do it. I’m like,
“Dang, brain, I’m over it. Let’s move on. She’s done. She’s moved on. Move on to the next
thing.”

That’s when you catch it. When you’re just thinking about it over and over and over again,
and you’re like, “Brain, listen, I’m done.” Now, even if you are thinking in that moment– My
example there, I did show up in a way that I was really proud of. There are times, granted, I
do show up in ways that I’m not really proud of, and I think, “Oh, damn, Lindsay, you could
have handled this, this, and this better.”

What used to happen is I used to spin in this cycle of beating myself up because of that.
Now what I’ll do, is I’ll just say, “I did the best that I could in that moment. I’m learning
from it, and I’m moving on.” If my brain brings it up again and starts trying to beat me up
again, I will say the same thing back to it. “Brain, I did the best in the moment. I’m growing
from it, and I’m moving on.” Because spinning in that beat-up mode, where you’re beating
yourself up over and over again, is a big problem for overthinkers.

It’s like they just keep saying the same negative stuff to themselves over and over and
over again. It’s not needed. I have some clients that are really deep in that right now, and
it’s so hard for us to dig past all that self-judgment and get to the stuff that really needs
healing, because anytime we’re pulling something up, they have so much judgment about
that.

Then we have to coax their inner mean girl, is what we call it, enough to just calm it down,
and be like, “Okay, it’s okay that you’re thinking this. It’s okay that you’re doing this and
feeling this, but calm it down. We don’t need the judgment there.” I’m going to do a whole
nother episode on stopping self-judgment, because we really need to talk about that,
because again, it holds so many people back. Again, side tangent.

This overthinking thing, it’s catch yourself when you’re like, “Man, I don’t want to think
about this, but I am,” and say whatever you need to say to yourself to move the F on. If I
think about Lindsay back in the day, oh, my Lord, I used to overthink like crazy. I even have
a shirt that said, “Hold on, let me overthink it.” I was the queen of overthinking. I would
overthink, oh, my gosh, so many things like, “Oh, I should have said this, or I should have
done this.”

I would especially overthink relationships, people I was dating, and how I could have
handled things differently and better. God, the movies would just play in my head over and
over again. Movies, meaning the scenes of the relationship, over and over and over and
over and over again. I wish I would have just had this advice of somebody saying to me,
“You know, you can stop that, right?” You can just say to your brain, ‘That’s enough. We’re
moving on.” Then I would intentionally tell my brain, “Hey, we’re going to think about this
instead.”

If my brain brought me back to that place, because it’s going to, I would intentionally bring
it back. If I’m thinking about Lindsay in college, my God, I thought about boys so much. I
would have intentionally brought it back and said, “We’re going to focus in on our studies
right now.” I would focus it there, and if I lost my focus, I would bring it back. I would say,
“No, we’re studying whatever course in psychology right now. Boom, boom, boom, boom,
boom, we’re focusing on this.”

Again, so many times people think they just are victim to their life or their brain. This is
what brains do. We have to train it otherwise, which is crazy. It’s like we have to be bigger
than our brains, is what I always say, because the brain is in the driver’s seat, and yet, we
have to intentionally have this other higher being of us almost take over and be the driver
seat. It’s crazy, and that’s what you have to do.

Just know, too, we overthink because it’s a distraction, as I said. It’s a distraction because
our brain doesn’t want to feel the feelings, doesn’t want to feel the fear and the sadness
and the anger, but that’s really the good stuff that we need to feel. If I go back to my client
example, and I was overthinking it, again, I know enough to know what overthinking is, I
would catch it, and then I would also ask myself, “Lindsay, what is it that you really need to
feel here?”

I needed to feel sadness. I was so sad that our relationship at this point has ended the way
that it has. I said, “I loved working with her. She loved working with me at one point. We
almost had this friendship we were blossoming, and for whatever reason, she didn’t want
to continue, and she didn’t want to continue in a way where we could at least even just be
friendly with one another and talk to one another.”

That was sad. I had to mourn that, and I had to let that go. I even felt some self-judgment
coming up, and that would come up as, “Oh, Lindsay, you got too attached to a client. You
shouldn’t have done that. You’re supposed to always be in a neutral state with a client.”
I’m like, “Listen. Sometimes I do get a little attached. Sometimes we do build a little bit of
a bond beyond just the coaching relationship. That’s okay. It’s human, Lindsay. Feel the
sadness of it.”

As the time has gone on, because now this has been, gosh, like four months since this has
happened, it’s not as sad when I think about it. I have a little bit of lingering sadness of
“[sighs].” There’s still a part of me that’s like, “Man, I still wish I was working with her. I still
wish this is happening,” but then I let it go. I go back to different spiritual beliefs to help
me let it go. I’ll say things like, “She’s on her journey. She knows what’s best for her. She
knows she can always reach out if she needs me.”

If I have thought otherwise of that of like, “Well, she should da, da, da, da,” because that’s
what my brain will present sometimes. Like, “No, she’s on her journey, Lindsay. Just be so
grateful that you got to help her during the time you did, and let it go. There’s something
bigger out there working in our favor, potentially. Let it go. Let that higher being figure it
out for her. She’s got this, okay?” Those are the things that will calm me.

I’ll even turn to some of the tools that I use, like journaling, like, “I feel sad that this
relationship is over,” and I let it go, kind of stuff. Okay? All right. That’s why we overthink.
It’s because we don’t want to feel those feelings, but all we need to do is just go on and
feel them. It feels a little uncomfortable, and our brain is sending off sirens when we have
to go feel them. It’s like, “Sadness, sadness, get out of here. Get out. This isn’t powerful.
This is bad. Last time we felt sad, we never pulled ourselves out of it.”

It may be true for you. You may not know how to pull yourself out. That’s why doing
something like coaching can really be so valuable to learn how to fully process your
emotions. I say this all the time, but I wish we were teaching this kind of stuff in school, is
just fully being able to sit in a feeling of, “I feel sad,” and just let it wash over us, maybe
journal it out, talk it out, and just let it go through our body. If we feel anger, “I feel angry,”
and hitting a pillow and getting that out and talking out loud, even.

Like, “You’re stupid, da, la, la, la,” and say all the things you need to say. Get all of that out.
We really are just very toddler-like at the end of the day. I have a two-year-old right now.
You know why he gets over stuff so quick? Because he processes his emotions. When I tell
him, “No, you can’t have that cookie,” he gets mad, and he gets sad. That lasts a few
minutes, and then he moves the f on.

Whereas the rest of us, things happen, much bigger than just saying no to a cookie, and
we’re just stuffing it along like we’re these little robots, doo, doo, doo, doo. We wonder
why we’re so robotic feeling all the time. Well, it’s probably because we don’t know how to
process our feelings. We’re trying to act like we’re robots when we’re not. Pretty crazy,
huh? All right. That’s my little spiel there.

The last thing I want to cover with you, and this goes back to decision making, and that is,
many times, people will come to me, and they’ll say, “Okay, Lindsay, I know that I
overthink. I know that I don’t want to overthink.” Especially when we go through the
coaching process, I have them take a distractions’ assessment. One of the segments in that
assessment is if you are an overthinker or not. They pretty much know in black and white
terms of like, “Are you an overthinker, yes or no?” They’ll know.

They’re like, “Okay, Lindsay, I don’t want to do this anymore. How can I just trust my
decisions?” I know I mentioned that other podcast episode of Make Strong Decisions, and
that’s a great complement to this one, but I’m going to give you an exercise right now to
help you, too. That is, not only just tapping more into that inner wisdom and that inner
intuition, which I know is a process. Okay? You may not be there yet. You may not know
what is that intuition or not, and that’s okay. What you can do, is you can just start to think
about the decision at hand. Okay?

If you’re thinking about, “What is it going to look like if I, for example, take this job or I
stay at my job now or if I date this person or I date this person?” whatever it is, it doesn’t
matter. Just play out in your mind how you envision it going, making that one choice and
making that other choice, and make the vision that you have out of fricking possibility, not
out of worst-case scenario, because that’s where our brain is going to go. Okay.

If I’m thinking about my client recently who just could not make the decision about staying
in the relationship or not, and she knew deep down it was time for it to go. She totally
knew. We were in an ongoing coaching relationship for me to continue to coach through
her. I would just reach out to her ever so often on email, and be like, “Hey, how’s life?
What’s going on?” Then she would tell me, “I was deciding on us.” I’d be like, “Oh, my
gosh.”

Anyways, what she envisioned when she would leave him, even though she knew deep
down it’s time for us to part, was this life of, “I’m too old. Nobody’s going to want me.
Nobody’s out there. It’s a bunch of losers out there.” It was like, “Oh, my gosh. If you
envision that out there, then that’s what you’re going to create.” Versus, “My ideal match is
out there. This is going to be so fun. There are hundreds of thousands of millions of people
waiting for me. This is going to be the adventure of my life.”

Those are the visions and thoughts she could have going into that. Your brain will try and
tell you, “Oh, but that’s not realistic. That’s going to set myself up for hurt. That’s going to
make failure feel even worse. What if I am making the wrong decision?” Then you just go
back to, again, of, what do you want to believe here? What do you want to think?

I mention this story often, but when my divorce happened, I didn’t really have a choice. He
had moved on, because there was a part of me that had those thoughts of like, “Who’s
going to want me now? I’m a mother.” That was in my late 20s. “I’m a mother. I’m not at
my peak anymore,” was another thought that I had, and “Who’s going to be out there?”

When it became just obvious that I had to move on, I remember my mom saying some of
those thoughts to me. Even worse, actually, of like, “Lindsay, don’t get your hopes up. I
don’t know if any guy is going to want you now,” da, la, la, la.” I actually like it when she
goes to that extreme. Some people are like, “Oh, my gosh. That’s so mean.” It’s actually
really been good for me over the years when she goes even more extreme than my mind,
because I see it playing out in somebody else, and I’m like, “Damn, this is really negative
thinking. Do I want to think that?”

I started to think and said, “Who’s going to not want me? I’m a catch. This is awesome. This
is going to be so fun. I’m only going to be with somebody if they meet these qualities,
because that person is out there.” It became a really fun experience. That’s what I got. I
started dating in April of whatever year that was, it would have been 2013, and I met my
husband in August, so just a couple of months later.

In that period, I dated somebody else for a couple of months. He ended up being a jerk. I
wasn’t actively dating a ton of people. It just happened to be that. Then I found my
husband. A lot of that was because of the great thoughts that I had about myself and about
how the experience would go, and so that’s what, again, I created.

Start to play that out as you go into these two scenarios, and if you still are just, “Oh, my
gosh. I can’t break this pattern of overthinking. I catch myself doing it all the time and just
still doubting myself,” again, that’s where you need to start to really ask yourself, “What is
this costing in my life?” If I think about where my overthinking was coming out, which is I
said my business, that’s likely has costed me hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Again, it’s not like I fully saw that I was overthinking. My brain was really sneaky to be like,
“Oh, no. I’m just new, or it’s because I’m a mom,” and make all these excuses. I catch that
shit so fast. Once it was presented to me now, I’m like, “No, brain, we’re not going there.” I
catch it even more in my clients.

I am helping this really small little batch of some of my ongoing clients builds businesses,
and they are building them so fast, because I’m coaching them hard on that stuff of, “Quit
overthinking it. Stop. If you knew right now, what would you decide? Go. Go test it. Don’t
come back to me until you test it.” Then, if she’s testing it, and it doesn’t work out right,
“Okay, let’s tweak one little thing. Then, go test that again. Get out there. Boom, boom,
boom, boom, boom.”

Because another thing I’ll tell you about overthinking is, as I said, overthinking is like, “Oh,
I don’t want to feel the feelings of sadness and whatever.” One of the big things of
overthinking is not getting into action, and not putting yourself out there, because it’s so
much more comfortable when you’re just sitting in our little house with our cozy blanket
and drink our tea and overthink and read our books, and overthink about concepts in the
world instead of getting our butt out there, taking action, getting no’s, getting a failure.

Yes, it’s not a comfortable experience even if you’re an introvert, because I am definitely
an introvert. I am definitely somebody who loves reading and being alone and doing all
the things, but I realize that part of the game of going after my dreams is getting freaking
uncomfortable very often. Like, putting myself out of social, doing this podcast, opening
myself up to haters, potentially, who are like, “Lindsay, this overthinking shit, it’s total BS.”
That’s just part of it.

People telling me, “No.” Did I mention the client that blocked me on Instagram recently?
Just part of the game. I’m so glad that I’m out here in the game, though, as Brene Brown
refers to it, at the arena out here getting blooded something but learning and getting
better instead of sitting at home overthinking shit. Yes, does it hurt sometimes, but then, I
pick myself up, and I keep going. I promise you, on the other side of this overthinking, life
is so much fun. I’ll get in.

It’s still 50/50 right? You’ve got a different set of things you have to deal with, but I would
choose this 50/50 all day long, and the reason why, too, is because I know how to process
my emotions. Anything that’s presented to me, yes, it’s going to sting, and it hurts. My
brain doesn’t really want to feel it, and then I process it, then I move on. Okay? This whole
feeling feelings life, deeply feeling all the crap, and deeply feeling all the good stuff is
good stuff. Really, really good stuff.

I know for some of my clients, they’re like, “Lindsay, you’re always telling me to feel more
neutral, though.” I’m like, “Neutrality is a great thing, too, baby.” That’s really what I’m
teaching here. It’s this neutrality that you’re up, and your down and you’re feeling all the
things, and you’re just staying at this neutral place, which may be over some of your heads
if you’re not at that place of coaching yet.

Goodness. So much that you can take from this episode. I hope you took a couple of
nuggets. Let’s stop this overthinking, my friend. Get out there. Get dirty. Get into action. Go
fail, because the failure is their pathway to success. Trust yourself. Feel those feelings. You
got this. I believe it in the core of my soul. Even though if you and I have never met, I
completely believe in you. You don’t even have to tell me anything about you. I know you
have inside of you whatever it takes to accomplish the dreams that you want to
accomplish.

I’m not just saying that so that you pay me money. I don’t really care if you even pay me
money. It’s just that I want you to believe in yourself enough to go out and do this stuff.
Okay? Whatever is stopping you for going out and doing that stuff, like overthinking or
whatever, go heal that shit. It’s not as hard as it needs to be or what your brain is thinking
it needs to be. Okay? All right. That’s all I have for you this week. I’ll see you in the next
episode. Bye.

[music]

Hey there, Miss Unstoppable. Thanks so much for tuning into this episode. If you enjoyed
it, share it with a friend. Send them a picture of this episode via text, via email, share it on
social media, I’m sure they would be so appreciative to know these strategies and tips on
how to accomplish your dreams. If you are ready to guarantee you’re going to accomplish
your goals and dreams, then it’s time to start coaching with me.
In my nine-month simple success coaching system, I am going to walk you every single
step of the way to ensure that you get the goals and dreams that you want. The first step is
to apply for a free 60-minute consult call. Just go to LindsayEpreston.com/apply to get
started. As always, my friend, remember, you’re only as unstoppable as you believe you can
be, so believe in yourself. You got this.

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Hi! I'm Lindsay

Hi! I’m Lindsay Elizabeth Preston. I’m a certified & trauma-informed life & leadership coach who has spent the last decade helping successful women create lives that feel as good on the inside as they look on the outside by using my neuroscience-backed coaching process called, Awakened Woman.


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