“Your life purpose is the center of everything you do. Every action you take (or don’t take) goes back to your purpose.”
Ever wonder what the purpose of your life is? Many women I talk to sure do.
They want to know what the meaning of their life is and how they can maximize that meaning during their precious years on Earth.
Most teach that a life purpose is centered around a career or family. This is untrue. Those are passions, desires and responsibilities.
A life purpose is the core intention for your life. You live your life’s purpose no matter what you’re doing.
As a woman who’s found her life’s purpose, I now can’t imagine my life without it.
I know every morning when I open my eyes what I’m here to do. I no longer snooze my alarm because I want to avoid my day, instead I take everything on in full force because I am driven to live out my life’s purpose in everything I do.
Even on the days that feel hard or boring, I feel accomplished and grateful to have lived it because I spent another day living a life of purpose for myself and others.
It’s an incredible way to live.
If you want to live a life of purpose too, join me for this week’s episode. I’ll walk you through the process I take my clients through to help them find their life purpose and share how it felt once as a client to experience this process too.
Listen via the link at the top of this page.
RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
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Full Transcript
This is the Become an Unstoppable Woman podcast with Lindsay Preston Episode 99, Find
Your Purpose.
[music]
Welcome to the Become an Unstoppable Woman podcast, the show for goal-getting, fearfacing women for kicking ass by creating change. I’m your host, Lindsay Preston. I’m a wife,
mom of two, and a multi-certified life coach to women all over the world. I’ve lived
through enough in life to know that easier doesn’t always equate to better. We can’t fear
the fire, we must learn to become it. On this show, I’ll teach you how to do just that. Join
me as I challenge you to become even more of the strong, resilient, and powerful woman
you were meant to be. Let’s do this.
[music]
Hi there, my friend. Welcome to another episode of the show, 99th episode. That means
next week, we’re heading a hundred and it’s actually the two year anniversary of the show
next week as well. That episode is going to be jam-packed with so much goodness as I
reflect on a hundred episodes and doing two years of the show. I’m going to share with
you my greatest learning lessons and some highlights over the past year, and especially a
hundred episodes. Be sure to stay tuned for that.
We’re also going to be doing something extremely special to celebrate a hundred
episodes, so you won’t want to miss all the details but today is 99 and we’re talking about
finding your purpose. It’s so interesting because so many people come to me and I’ll ask
them, what is it you want to gain from coaching to say it was one of the best investments
of your life.
So many of them say I want to find my life purpose. I want to find what it is I was sent on
this earth to do and I realized recently because I was going to guide someone to an
episode we were talking about life purpose and I thought, whoa, I have not talked about
this specifically on the show, what in the world. I added it to my list of podcasts because I
want everyone to understand the process of finding their life purpose and what a life
purpose can give you and your life.
I find it first off so interesting that people come to me and they say, I want to find my life
purpose because that was not even on my radar at all before I did coaching as a client, I
just wanted in all honesty to feel better, and as I’ve said in many podcasts, just experience
coaching as a client because I thought maybe I’ll do this whole coaching thing.
I love it when women come to me and they say I want to find my life purpose. That means
that they have done some deep work in my eyes. Maybe that’s even just listening to
podcasts where other people have talked about their purpose. Maybe they’ve read books.
Maybe they’ve done therapy or another form of coaching where maybe they’ve dug a little
bit to uncover something for them to have this desire inside of them. Again, I find it so
incredible when people are already on that wavelength of awareness.
In my coaching process, I help my clients find their life purpose and you would think you
have to go on this huge spiritual journey and backpack for months and have a moment
with God kind of thing. It’s sort of like that but sort of not. As my coaching process goes
through, gosh, I think we find their life purpose around month five of coaching, those first
three months is really meaty work. I know I’ve said this a lot on the show but those first
few months, we’re clearing out all the blocks that are holding them back from success. In
essence, we’re clearing out who they’re not.
Who has society programmed them to be? Maybe it’s their parents, the media, friends,
extended family, all of those things have come together to make them this version of
themselves, and many times it’s not truly authentic to who they are. To go in, we have to
uncover who it is they’re not, get really deep into that. We call it the inner mean girl voice,
in the psychology world, they call it the ego. We have to do some feeling, dealing, and
healing to get rid of that stuff so the brain just doesn’t stay in this loop of feeling like
being that inauthentic person of them is what’s going to keep them safe and secure in
their worlds.
We have to go in, as I said, clear all that out, and then once we clear it out, I have to get
them to a place where they’re able to take in joy in abundance. Because since they’ve been
on this loop of being someone who they’re not, once we get rid of that crap, and as I said,
feel, deal, and heal, then what happens is this script that they’ve had in their mind for so
many years, upon years, upon years has diminished if not gone away. It’s crazy to the
nervous system a little bit of, wow, those problems that were once so huge aren’t problems
anymore and all the things that I once feared in my life, I don’t fear as much anymore.
They have to just in essence stabilize their nervous system and be able to say, wow, I can
actually now go after my goals and dreams at a whole new level and I get to be myself
without feeling as scared to do them. We spend about a month or two, really just
stabilizing that. We just take some time and we integrate what, as I said, joy and we learn
about something called the upper limit problem. They know what’s going to come next
because they have in essence escaped a lot of their former problems. Now, they’ve got to
just regulate as I keep saying the nervous system so they don’t fall back into old habits in
new ways.
Meaning even if they have escaped a pattern of overworking, they may then turn
overworking into over caretaking, just so then they’ll stay flatlined at the same place in
their life instead of growing because even if they’re growing in a positive way that they
want to grow, it freaks the brain out. We have to, in essence, let the brain know there’s
nothing to be scared here and we just take some breaths. We do a little meditating, I teach
them about that too and just really calm things down. I intentionally slow them down just
to make sure that they’re able to take in that abundance.
Then after we do that, we start building something called the puzzle of you. In this puzzle
of you, you are looking at all these different areas of your life. Meaning your top strengths,
your top desires, your way of thinking, your motivation, your child self, your values, your
passions. I think we have like 11 or 12 different things we have on this puzzle. They spend
a few weeks doing that and building that puzzle of you. Then they bring their puzzle to me
that they’ve designed and I sit with it and on a call, we talk about the patterns in that
puzzle.
I say, okay, based on these strengths and your way of thinking and your values, you need a
life where you’re doing X, Y, and Z. You’re going to feel really good if you’re doing things
like A, B, C in your life. If I’m looking at this puzzle as a whole, I’m really seeing somebody
who is really great at communicating and able to feel people’s feelings and then
communicate it to them. I just go on and on and on about whatever patterns I’m seeing.
This is where I get in my zone of genius and so I love doing this. Then after we do that
puzzle of them, they sit with it, we do something then called an authentic self-interview.
On this authentic self interview is when we create space for them to hone in on their life
purpose. It’s interesting because when they create that puzzle of you, they have, as I said,
all these puzzle pieces but as they’re building their own puzzle that they designed
themselves, I have them leave a piece in the middle for their life purpose. I tell them, your
life purpose is the center of everything you do in your life. Every puzzle piece, every action
you take in your life, that all goes back to your purpose.
So many people teach a life purpose as, oh, that’s your job and it’s not true. Many times
things that we do for a job or different hobbies we have, those are passions. For some
people, they don’t even have a job that’s a passion, they just have a job that makes money
and that’s fine. A passion is something that comes and goes in your life. For me, for a
while, one was dance. I love dancing. I had a dance studio but in time, that passion started
to fade and grow into this desire to want to mentor my dancers more than teach them to
dance. Then eventually that led into this profession I have now which is coaching.
Right now, coaching is a huge passion of mine but I know at the end of the day, even if
coaching fades in time, I lean on my purpose for what I’m going to develop next in my life.
Hopefully, you’re following me on that. Again, a purpose is one thing that you have ideally
for your whole life, now you can fine-tune it and you can make it stronger as time goes on,
but it’s something that you just show up as. This is your most intentional way of being.
It’ll make more sense here in a minute, but that’s how I create it for a client. We clear out
all the crap that’s holding them back. They feel, deal, and heal, they then regulate their
nervous system to be like, whoo, okay, I’m stepping into this new version of myself and I
can take in this kind of abundance. Then they start building the puzzle of them and they
also get into more action with their goals. I left that part off. We do something called
manifesting, which I know can sound very woo-woo to some, but it’s actually a very
scientific process once you break it down.
Again, they’re building more abundance, building more abundance, and then I say, okay,
let’s make sure you’re living the most intentional life ever. They build that puzzle and then
we create space in something called an authentic self-interview where I ask them
questions and I create a container for them to tap into what’s considered their highest self.
For some people who are Christians, they will say, this is the Holy Spirit, almost living
inside of them, which is so fun, and we are just tapping into what is it that they were
meant to do in this world.
I swear it’s not woo-woo. It’s really just me asking questions and because they’ve just been
able to clear out so much crap in their mind and create this space for abundance and I
create a container in that interview for them to feel comfortable to come forth and share
all these dreams and things that they have, it just is magic and it works.
I remember when I was a client and I experienced this, it was incredible. It was incredible,
I had never felt so much like the best of me within that hour that my coach did my
authentic self-interview. When we got to the point where she asked me a question along
the lines of something like, what is your purpose here on earth? Something came out of
me that just felt so, oh gosh, how can I describe it? So true to me that I had no idea was
even inside of me.
It just came out of my mouth and I remember telling her what it was and I’ll share with
you what it is here. I said, “My purpose is love.” She said, “Okay, tell me more.” I just started
spewing like it was spirit talking through me or something. I don’t know. Then I just said,
I’m here to cultivate, love in other people and to help them love themselves, and then it’s
going to be this trickle effect where they’re spreading love and all the things.
Mind you, if you are a self-help junkie, a lot of people talk about how our highest self is
love, we can choose fear over love and things of that sort and Marianne Williamson even
has a book called Return to Love, I believe. She talks about things where most of our
purposes are generated around love, but at the time, I hadn’t read any of that stuff. To
know that this part of me came out of me in this interview when I didn’t know that for
most of us, our purpose is centered in love, felt so crazy cool. That was my experience
when I had my authentic self-interview, but as I said, I do this for clients now and it brings
forth in them the container for them to bring forth.
Now, for some of them, even when I asked them directly on that interview, what do you
believe is your life purpose, like I had an interview last week where I did this, and she kind
of skirted around it. She’s like, “I don’t know, I think it might be this, or it might be this, or
it might be this.” That’s when I can tell they’re more in like their logical brain and what
sometimes I refer to as like their human self, and so I’ll guide her back a different way in
the way that I ask questions and creating that space again, and then I’ll come back to it
and I’ll say, if you had to decide right now, what would be your life purpose? 10 times out
of 10 that’s when they start getting it out there.
Because a lot of times, too, for some women, they have trouble making decisions, and
granted, as I’m coaching with these women, I’m teaching them to trust themselves more
and make those decisions, but for some, it’s just a muscle, they have to build more. For me,
I’ve always been really good at making decisions so much so that I make them too quickly,
and so it was easier for me to get to that information.
That’s where having a coach can be so valuable because I know again, for some of my
clients, I’m like, I’m going to have to really pull this out of them and really work with them
on trusting themselves and listening to themselves so they can find this purpose because
my goal is on that one call that we have, they find their life purpose. Now, it might not be
perfectly packaged from that call, but they have enough to then have something to lean
on.
For the client I had last week who I said was skirting around getting to her purpose and I
brought her back. I said, decide right now, it came out around joy. “I’m here to cultivate
joy,” and then she had a couple of different in essence sub-bullet points of how she was
going to do that in everyday actions. Then she walked away from that interview and she
was like, “Okay, I know where I’m going to go now. I have something to lean on and as I
move forward with this purpose of my life and living in this way of being, I’ll know that
this is my highest, most authentic self first off, and two, I’ll be able to fine-tune it of, okay,
did I hit it on the mark or is there more there?”
I must admit for my own purpose, I do this all the time. I’ll check back in with it and say,
okay, is it still a love Lindsay? Because sometimes you feel like it’s empowerment or
maybe it’s resiliency or something else, and I’ll just keep going back. For me, my truth
comes back to time and time again, no Lindsay, it’s love, no Lindsay, it’s love, no Lindsay,
it’s love, and I’m like, okay, okay, it’s love. Again, I’ve just learned to tap into that part of
myself and trust myself to know what my purpose is.
That’s how I create it with clients. It’s a really cool, amazing fun experience. You can do
this for yourself by just asking yourself those simple questions. If I had to decide right now,
what would be my life purpose, but it’s probably going to be really hard for you to find that
core answer of what it is because you just haven’t done the work yet to clear out all the
crap that is blocking you from, as I keep mentioning this higher, most authentic self and
it’s really powerful when somebody does create that container for you in a call and allows
the space for that part of you to come forward.
It’s really like why would anyone want to short change that I always say. I used to make it
optional for clients to do an authentic self-interview and I don’t make that optional
anymore. It almost makes me sad about the clients who did not opt in to do the authentic
self-interview because I think in my life, that moment that I had that interview with my
coach is top 10 one of my best moments of my entire life.
When I’m on my death bed, I will look back at that moment I had with my coach and be
like, “I am so glad I did that.” Because that just, it changed the flipping game for me and I
was able to tap into this higher part of me that I keep mentioning and I had never felt that,
and me being in that space was then I was able to create that being or that part of me like
bring her forth in me more and more. Because I could say, oh, this is what it feels like
when I’m in that part of me and so how can I cultivate this feeling more and more and
more inside of me.
Two, that that allowed me to strengthen even more of my decision making muscle because
when I had to sit with a decision, especially a hard decision, I could say, okay, what does
this feel like in my body? Because I know the difference between when I’m in my most
authentic self and what that feels like versus when I’m in what we call that inner mean girl
voice. It just makes such a difference, this is how I’m able to trust myself and just make
faster and faster decisions so I can keep moving forward into massive action in my life so I
can get all the results that I want.
Already going into some of the benefits of doing this purpose work is that you get to
experience that experience. You get to then trust yourself even more because you know
what that authentic being is, but then when you actually have your purpose, you have in
essence, this compass for your life. For me, every day, I’m waking up and I am thinking
maybe not intentionally, but I am thinking, okay, I’m here to love. How can I cultivate that
in everything that I do, and any time I steer away from that, it’s like, Lindsay, how can you
get back to this place?
I talk about this all the time on so many posts that I do and so many things that I do, even,
I end every post that I have with a pink heart, the pink emoji heart with little sparkles on it,
just because that image alone, as silly as it sounds, feels like my purpose coming out in
everything that I do. Even when I coach somebody and maybe I’ll coach them kind of hard,
or my personal life, I’ll say something that may be hard, I will tend to end it with wrapping
it in love. Like, “Oh, you got this,” this is what I say a lot. Believe in yourself, you’re only as
unstoppable as you believe you can be, right, is what I say on the podcast on the outro. I
always want to just wrap somebody up in some kind of love as they move forward.
Now, granted, when somebody is feeling love off of me or somebody else in their life, it’s
because of the thoughts they’re having about that person. If we were to go back and look
at the tool of the model that I talk about a lot on the show is that circumstances never
create our feelings. It’s our thoughts about the circumstance that creates our feelings. I
could say something that I believe is rooted in love and somebody else’s like, “Ugh, that is
so rude. How can you do that?”
Trust me, my husband says this to me often or my daughter, “Mom, that was so rude.” I’m
like, “No, Blessing, I promise you, it’s wrapped in love.” [chuckles] I can’t always control
how everyone takes it, but I know for me and my truth, I am constantly looking at the filter
of, is this bringing somebody closer to love? It makes life so fun.
Before, it was always, I was chasing this next accolade and this next achievement, and
granted, I still have some of that, it’s like, how much money can I make this year, I want to
bring in this goal or do this thing, but at the end of the day, it’s like, I have my purpose and
nobody can ever take that away from me. Even if I don’t accomplish what I want to
accomplish, I feel like I’ve shown up, for the most part, the most authentic version of me
living this purpose and so everything else just feels like a cherry on top.
This is what has allowed me to go from waking up every morning and being like, “Ugh,
another day, ugh,” to, “Another day, I am so grateful to be alive and I’m so grateful I get to
move forward and live my purpose.” A purpose makes a big difference. I find no surprise
when people say I want to find this because again, it’s like they have seen maybe
somebody else talk about a purpose or live in a purpose and they’re like, I don’t know what
that girl’s got going on but, I want some of that. [chuckles] She says it’s this purpose thing,
so go ahead, I want to place an order, I’d like a purpose, too.
Just know, it’s so fun, it’s so incredible to have a purpose and to find that purpose but it
does take a journey and that journey does take a little bit of time, as I said, for most of my
clients, it’s around month five in the coaching process that we find their purpose, and then
two, from there, it’s like they’ve got to build a trust in themselves that they have found
that purpose, and they have it then they’re having the courage to move forward with that.
After we find their purpose, then I’m getting them into massive action, getting them to
make more decisions and making sure that they’re living this life that they have talked
about that they want to live and they’re walking the walk of that, not just talking the talk.
That takes courage and they’re going to get beat up from time to time if you listen to, I
guess was the last episode of Speaking your Truth, Episode 98. I talk about that.
It’s like sometimes you’re going to go out there, you’re going to be courageous, you’re
going to say things and do things, and you’re going to feel like it’s so authentic to you and
in line with your purpose, and then you’re going to get beat up a little bit and you’re going
to learn and just get better and better and better and better.
That’s what I have for you in a nutshell about finding your purpose. Remember, it’s not a
passion, it’s not tied to something that you’re doing, it’s tied to who you are being. What is
that core word or phrase that you are just showing up as day after day after day after day?
For me, as I said, it’s love. I’ve heard so many different other words, along the years of how
other people have worded it. Some people have said, I’m a resource, some people say, it’s
joy, some people, it’s to teach, in order to be that teacher or be an example or inspire.
Again, so many different ways but at the end of the day, two, everybody’s purpose that I’ve
ever heard is I want to be here to serve others, I want to contribute not only to myself but
to the world and my purpose is the way that I’m going to do that. If you’re a spiritual
person, this just takes your spiritual life to a whole new level. I don’t think I’ve ever had a
client come in in the past now almost seven years of coaching that says, “Lindsay, I want to
improve my spiritual life with you.”
Because I don’t really put that out there. It’s not like I’m saying, oh, I’m a Christian coach or
a spiritual coach, but they come in and they will have their spiritual life fulfillment grow
over the time, we’re working together, simply because they’re doing exercises like finding
their purpose and they can’t help but feel some spiritual connection if that’s what they
believe in, because it’s like, wow, I finally feel like I’ve opened so many opportunities to
speak to my higher power just by me living in my purpose.
I know for me, any time when I feel like I’m leading with love and I get beat up a little bit,
then I’ll turn to that higher power and be like, okay, what am I supposed to learn here?
How am I supposed to get better, and the communication lines are just so open and
wonderful and beautiful, and it’s an amazing place to be. I encourage everyone, go find
your purpose, it’s awesome. Know, of course, this is what I do for a living, I would so love
to help you do this.
If you are interested in getting started in the coaching process, we start with a free 60-
minute consult call. On that call, we’re just going to talk about where your life is now,
where you want it to be when you’re in your 10-life, meaning your ultimate fulfillment, and
then we’re going to talk about what you want to gain from coaching so I can make sure
that I can guarantee those results for you because yes, I do guarantee results otherwise,
you get your money back. Then we’ll see if coaching together is right for you. Just go to
Lindsay, L-I-N-D-S-A-Y epreston.com/apply to apply for that free consult link in show notes
as well.
That’s all I have for you on Episode 99 of the show. I’ll see you next week for our
celebratory 100th episode. See you then.
[music]
Hey there, Miss Unstoppable. Thanks so much for tuning into this episode. If you enjoyed
it, share it with a friend. Send them a picture of this episode via text, via email, share it on
social media, I’m sure they would be so appreciative to know these strategies and tips on
how to accomplish your dreams. If you are ready to guarantee you’re going to accomplish
your goals and dreams, then it’s time to start coaching with me.
In my nine-month simple success coaching system, I am going to walk you every single
step of the way to ensure that you get the goals and dreams that you want. The first step is
to apply for a free 60-minute consult call. Just go to LindsayEpreston.com/apply to get
started. As always, my friend, remember, you’re only as unstoppable as you believe you can
be, so believe in yourself. You got this.
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