“Playing it safe is the riskiest choice we can make.” – Sarah Ban Breathnach
For the past few months I’ve been in massive growth for one big reason: I learned how to go all in.
I’ve recently done things like doubled the revenue in my business and then doubled again in a 3 month span, my marriage has gone from average to above-average (which has been harder than making the money, lemme tell you), and I finally lost the last of the baby weight in just 2 months.
I’ve done all this (and more) while having my kids home almost 24/7 while we’re going through a global pandemic.
I’ve learned and applied this concept called “going all in,” and it’s been a game-changer.
To “go all in” means you’re fully committed to something. You’re prepared to give your ALL to it, and you’re not going to give up on it.
Have there ever been times in your life when you’ve gone “all in?” Maybe with a relationship, a job or business, making an investment, having a child?
The times that come to mind for me are when…
I got married, had my children, nursed my son from my body (with no bottles!) for 11 months, invested in life coaching as a single mom with no job, put myself out there to share a personal story, told someone I really wanted to work with them, tried out to be an officer on my dance team in high school, bet some big money on a table in Vegas and told a guy in high school I liked him.
These “all in” times each yielded different results. There were times when I got amazing results and there were times when I didn’t get what I wanted.
The times when I didn’t get what I wanted, I realize looking back how they held me back from “going all in” more often in my life.
It’s held me back in a lot of ways….but not anymore.
I want to teach you today how to “go all in” and find what could be stopping you in the process. I want you to experience the massive growth that I’m having now simply from making this shift.
TUNE INTO THIS WEEK’S PODCAST AS I SHARE:
- The feeling we avoid feeling the most from going “all in” and it not working out
- Why women struggle more than men with “going all in”
- What to do when you “go all in” and you don’t get the results you want
- Why “going all in” can yield such incredible results
…and so much more
Listen to this week’s game-changing episode via the player at the top of this page.
To you creating massive success!
RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
→ Continue the conversation in my free online community
→ Get The 4-Day Accomplish Your Dreams Free Training
→ YOUR INNER MEAN GIRLS episode
Full Transcript
This is the Become an Unstoppable Woman podcast with Lindsay Preston Episode 59, Going
All In.
[music]
Welcome to the Become an Unstoppable Woman podcast, the show for goal-getting, fearfacing women for kicking ass by creating change. I’m your host, Lindsay Preston. I’m a wife,
mom of two, and a multi-certified life coach to women all over the world. I’ve lived
through enough in life to know that easier doesn’t always equate to better. We can’t fear
the fire, we must learn to become it. On this show, I’ll teach you how to do just that. Join
me as I challenge you to become even more of the strong, resilient, and powerful woman
you were meant to be. Let’s do this.
[music]
Lindsay: Hey there, Miss Unstoppable. Thanks for tuning into another episode of the show.
So happy to have you here. Today, we’re going to be talking about going all in. This is a
concept that seems so basic and yet, it’s so complex at the same time. Before I get into
what going all in means and why we do it and why we don’t do it and all of those things, I
just want to share with you where I’m at and how this concept has really rocked my world.
I’m going to get really vulnerable with you for a moment. We’re going to talk about how
much money I make and all these other things.
In my business, I’ve been in business now since 2014, so 6 years. The first two years of my
business, I really wasn’t all in on it because I had a day job. It really was like the first year.
Then the second year, I was planning my wedding and all this stuff. After that, I had a
couple of months where I tried going all in, like making it a full-time thing even though I
didn’t have another job. Then I got pregnant with my son. From there, I got pregnant. I had
a lot of nausea and I was like, “You know what? I’m just going to take this time off. I’m not
going to coach at all and I’m just going to be pregnant, and then have the baby and then
I’ll go back to my business.” That was like a year and a half that I did that.
Then last year, gosh, about this time, I guess spring, really, 2019, I remember telling my
husband, I really want to go back into the business. I was weaning my son at the time and I
said that I’m so tired of not making the money that I want to make. I just feel like this next
year, if I don’t make it, then I’m done with the business. He’s so great. He is a wealth
manager so he knows about investments and businesses and he invested in another
business. He has this different mindset about it. Granted, he had this all in mindset, I didn’t
see this at the time, but he’s like, “Lindsay, you just have to go all in,” in essence. He didn’t
say that, but it was like, it’s fine. It’s fine that it’s not making money.
This is just part of the game. There’s going to be a day when it does and you’re just going
to be so glad that you kept with him. I was like, “Okay, I get it,” but I’m just at this point
where I’m just ready to either make money or get out. To be completely honest with you,
there was a part of me that didn’t really care that I made money because I love what I do
so much. When I came into coaching, really, the goal was I just want a career that I love. I
was so tired of feeling like a zombie at work and feeling like I was dead inside. I just
wanted the thing that would light me up and where I could use all my strengths and my
passions.
Then when I realized I was helping people by doing that, it was just like this whole other
layer of goodness, of like, “Oh my gosh, I’m changing people’s lives. I’m going to make
money at this.” It was almost too much abundance to take in. That’s a whole another topic
of upper limit problems for another day. Anyways, a year ago, I was just at this place where
like, “Okay, I’ve got to make money.” Even though my husband, was supportive there would
be times when he’d be a little bit resentful of, well, if you were making money or I could
just really feel the pressure from him in regards to his job and him wanting to do more of
the things like I get to do where I just love my job so much.
Anyways, I just really said, “Okay, I got to make money this next year.” I had this mentality
of like, “It’s got to work. Otherwise, I’m going to leave.” I started making money and I
started consistently bringing in 5K a month. I was really happy with that because I really
wasn’t working that much. Being a mom has really been my full-time thing and then I’ll
coach on the side. Again, I was helping people and all that stuff. Well, then it just got to a
point recently with coronavirus and all of that hit where I realized, “Okay, life is really
short.
If I were to die tomorrow, what would be the things that I would regret?”
The biggest thing was I didn’t reach my full financial potential. I’m just tired of it. I’m tired
of being what I felt like was broke of just not charging when I know I should have charged
and really expanding my clients on certain ways because I charge a certain amount and
things of that sort. I got to work. I hired Stacey Beaman who is basically a business coach
for life coaches. She really talked about this concept called Going All In and how you have
to go all in on your business, go all in with your clients, risk the relationship to tell them
the things that they need to hear, go all in for their goals and to this huge goal advocate
for them.
It just started to open my eyes and I started to see in ways in which I had gone all in my
life, and ways in which I hadn’t. Of course, one of the biggest ones was how I really hadn’t
gone all into my business in a while. Now, I had gone all in when I invested in coaching as
a client because I had no job and I just had a couple thousand in savings. It was like, “Okay,
I’m just going to take this money. I’m going to invest in coaching go all in on it and hope it
brings it back to me.” Of course, it did. It was so scary and so risky and yet, it works, thank
goodness.
After that experience, I was just like, “Whew, I’m glad that worked out. Well, I’m not going
to do that again.” I just started playing it safe and playing it safe. Now, granted, every once
in a while, I would go on and something. I really count anytime I’m making a podcast,
especially a really personal podcast. I’m going all in I’m sharing something and I don’t
know how people are going to interpret that. I go all in, no matter what. There’s just been
a lot of other things I didn’t go all in on.
I’m seeing this huge difference in when I go all in and when I don’t go all in in my life, and
I’m seeing this more and more with clients because I’ve opened up this awareness of this
concept. Right now, I’m doing a launch for a very, very small group of clients that I’ve had
for a while and to my program called Living the Dream. We’re spending the next year where
they’re taking two goals that they really want to achieve, that almost feel like a little
impossible and we’re going to make it happen. I’m guaranteeing the results. I’m saying, “If
you don’t get these results, I’m going to refund your money,” and I’m teaching them in
essence how to go all in.
Obviously, they have to show up and they have to do certain things to hold their end of the
bargain with the guarantee. It’s also making me show up 100% as a coach. Together, we’re
really going to be going all in on this. I’m just thinking about this concept more and how
amazing it is because as I mentioned, I got my business to a place where I was making 5K
a month. After I learned this all-in concept or just brought it to my awareness, I doubled
my revenue. I brought in I think like $11,000 and some change, one month, $12,000 and
some change.
This month, it’s August 18th currently so the month isn’t over, but I’ve brought in
something like $32,000. It’s been crazy. It’s again one of the biggest things that’s just been
going all in and now, has it all been rainbows and daisies? No, but it’s just opened up so
many doors for me. I know my clients who I’m starting to teach this concept to, it’s going
to open up so many doors for them. I want to open those doors for you too.
Today, we’re going to talk about what going all in means. We’re going to talk about why
we do it, why we don’t do it, the things that hold us back, the biggest feeling that stops us
from going all in, how to process our feelings, all that stuff so that you can really start to
use this concept more in your life because the results, my friend, are just so different when
you do it. Jump on board. We’re going to talk about it. Are you excited?
All right, where do we start? Let’s just talk about what going all in means. I just did a quick
Google search on it. I was like, “Okay, what would someone define as going all in?” It says,
“You’re fully committed to something you’re prepared to give your all to it.” I then started
thinking about times when I did go all in. I gave you the first example of when I invested
in coaching as a client and I had no job. I was a single mom and I just had a couple of
thousand in savings that basically I was giving in the coaching.
I felt like I was going all in that moment. I was giving everything financially that I had to
make that work. I was fully committed to making that work in my life. I feel like it also
went all in in my life when I got married and I stood in front of these people that I knew,
and I was committing in front of all of them that I love this person. I was going to be there
for better or worse and all these other valves that I chuck. I felt like I was fully committing
to that in that moment.
When I nursed my son, I fully committed that I was not going to supplement and I was just
going to breastfeed him. What happened was he wouldn’t take bottles and I didn’t push it.
I ended up nursing him from my body for 11 months, no bottles. I was basically an on demand lactation cow. I don’t know what you want to call me, but it was intense. I went all in on that experience of fully nursing him.
Also, as I said, put myself out there with different personal stories online or in podcasts,
I’ve also considered when I have consults with people or I just talk to people and I tell
them, “I can help you. I definitely want to work with you. Let’s go.” That, to me, is going all
in because I’m putting myself out there. I’m fully committed to giving them the results. I
mentioned, with my Living the Dream people, that very small group of my older clients that
I’m talking to right now, I am fully committed to them getting those results. I am going all
in. I’m prepared to give it my all to make those results happen in their life, and then
they’re going to fully give their all to make those results happen in their lives.
Also, just little things like trying out to be an officer on my dance team in high school, I
was going all in to put myself out there for that, which felt really scary at the time. When I
went to Vegas once with my husband, he put some big money on the table and granted, it
was his money, we weren’t together at the time, but I was like, “Whoa, we we’re definitely
going all in.” That’s even a term they use in Vegas, going all in.
That was another time. Another time that came to mind was I told a guy in high school
that I liked him. I wrote him this note. I don’t even know how I got it to him, a friend of a
friend’s, and then he got it. I just felt like I was so vulnerable and going all in and telling
him how I felt. Those are times in my life when I’ve gone all in. Are you starting to think of
times in your life? Hopefully. It’s just like a time when you’re just fully committed, as I’ve
said, and you’re prepared to give it your all. I really think it has this element of
vulnerability to it.
It’s like you’re just putting it all out there and being super vulnerable and just given all
your stuff, I guess, you want to call it, like just putting it out there. I will say that the times
that I’ve gone all in my life, they have yielded different results. Sometimes, it’s been great
results. If we just look at people that I have consults with or just generally talk to and they
tell me what they want from coaching and I feel like I can really help them, I’ll say, “Yes, I
am fully committed to this and I’m ready to make this happen. I would love to work with
you.”
Not everybody says yes to that. I even had a consult just a few weeks ago where she on the
phone was like, “Yes, I’m all in. I can’t wait.” I was like, “Awesome. I know I’m going to give
you amazing results,” and she’s like, “Send me over the payment.” I said, “Are you sure? Do
you have any objections? Let’s talk about it.” “No, I’m all in.” It’s been two weeks and I have
not heard from that girl ever again. I’ve even emailed her, like, “Hey, what’s going on?”
Nothing. I went totally all in and I kept going all in by messaging her every week or so and
just being like, “Hey, where are you at? Just tell me where you’re at. Do you have any
questions? You want to coach or anything? I’m here to support you either way.”
I’m just at the point now where I’m just like, “I’m done,” but I just kept going all in. I’m like,
“I’m here to help you. I’d still love to work with you,” but now, it’s gotten to the point
where I released the reins. I even think about when I told that guy in high school that I
liked him. I didn’t think I was like that dorky in high school. I look even back on it.
Obviously, I wasn’t the most popular, but I wasn’t dorky. Well, the guy, when he got the
letter, he’s like, “I would never date somebody like her,” and he just made fun of some of
the groups I was in from what I remember.
He didn’t even tell me to my face or it was just like it was passed along through this train
and so all these people knew that this guy didn’t like me, which is so funny now because
I’ve looked him up since then and that guy, and I don’t mean to say this in a really boastful
way, but that guy would be so grateful to need somebody like me now. Oh my gosh, I don’t
even want to be rude or judgy, but the high school part of you was like, “Ha-ha,” right? It
was humiliating what he did and how he did it. This is why we stop ourselves from going
all in because there have been times in our life when we did, we put ourselves out there,
we were vulnerable.
We put it all on the table, whatever you want to call it and we didn’t get the result we
wanted. We experienced things like disappointment, sadness, shame, humiliation, mess up,
fun stuff to feel, especially if we don’t know how to process feelings. What happens then is
we just start to shrink, we don’t shine as much, and we don’t put ourselves out there. This
is why we don’t continue to go all in as I said. It’s just like everything that happens,
sometimes, it just diminishes us more and more and more, especially if we have a bunch of
crap from childhood where we were just fed these beliefs or these thoughts about
ourselves that just held us back.
We all have them. Even if you had a great talent, we all have it. It’s just our human brain.
That’s the way it works. What happens is just these other experiences that happen, it feeds
into whatever, the thoughts or beliefs that you have already. For me, when that guy said,
“Oh, I don’t like you. I’d never date somebody like that,” I already had beliefs in my mind of,
“There’s something wrong with me. I’m weird. I’m different. He doesn’t like me because I’m
not curvy.” Those were things that just reiterated that belief and continue to hold me back.
Now, when I go in with a client or a potential client, I say, “I’d love to work with you. Let’s
go,” that one I told you about and she’s falls off the face of the earth, it seems like. I don’t
make it mean anything about me because I’ve done the work to clear out all those beliefs
and thoughts, biases, whatever you want to call them so that now, it just happens. I’m just
like, “Oh, it is what it is. Okay, how did I go wrong? What can I do next time to improve
upon that?” and then I move forward and I just keep going into action.
That’s the big thing I really want you to take in here is we don’t continue to go all in
because we’ve been hurt. Our brain wants to protect us. That inner mean girl we talked
about in the last episode wants to keep us safe and secure. That’s just where we stay, we
don’t shine as much. Just keep that in mind and start to think about what were times in
your past you went all in and you didn’t get the results you wanted and what that brain of
yours sorted to mean about it.
This is, again, work we do deeper in coaching. This is stuff that takes sometimes a coach
looking at it, it just takes a process, but you can start to do this on your own too with us. If
you feel like you’re overwhelmed and in way over your head, just know if we work together
and the coaching process, it feels so much easier to do all of this with a process and the
support of a coach. Those are the times, as I said, is why we don’t go all in. The other thing
I want to talk about here is there’s a difference that I’ve seen with men and women about
going all in. It just seems like men do it better and do it more.
I really started thinking about why that is, and it’s a lot of conditioning. Men are typically
taught that you take the lead in relationships, that you put yourself out there for a girl.
They also really promote that boys and men, that they take risks and that’s a sign of
masculinity to do something like that. Whereas for women, it’s, “Okay, we need to sit down.
We need to be quiet. We need to play it safe because if you put yourself out there too
much, that might be too showy and you may get unwanted attention. Then that could lead
to something really bad potentially so you don’t want to do that.”
You need to really be safe because the world’s scary out there for women and you need to
be nice. If you put yourself out there too much, you may offend people. Also, if you put
yourself out there too much, people may have thoughts about you, about you being bossy
or pushy or too much or desperate, or even if we look at it sexually, a fast or whore.
Luckily, when I told that boy in high school I liked him, I didn’t have any kind of reputation
like that, but if I had even an inkling or someone had thought an inkling of that, I could
totally see ever being like, “Oh, what a whore. She’s such a slut.” Then that would have
been like a whole another layer of prop that would’ve held me back from shining.
I just want you to realize this is that this is just the BS conditioning we get as women and
it’s just holding us back in so many ways, especially professionally because men just
continue to put themselves out there. There’s a stat out there like men apply for jobs when
they’re 60% to 80% qualified or something and women feel like they have to have a 100%
of the qualifications to apply.
Well, it’s just because men put themselves out there. They’re okay taking the rest. They’re
okay being somewhat vulnerable. They’re okay with the gap, where they’re at, where they
want to be, and making it happen no matter what. Whereas women, we want to play it safe
more. We’ve just got to put ourselves out there more. The other thing I want to talk about
is– We talked about when you go all in and you don’t get the results you want. You feel
those feelings like sadness, disappointments, gosh, shame, humiliation, so many things,
right?
Those feel like the primary ones that I see a lot and I experience a lot. The thing is is that
when you start to realize that A, you can process your feelings no matter what happens to
you. Your feelings don’t have to hold you back, you’re not afraid of feeling certain feelings
anymore, this is when you become flipping unstoppable. Because really, if you think about
it– Okay, you put yourself out there for something, what’s the worst that can happen? You
feel something you don’t want to feel. Yes, you may lose some money. Yes, maybe certain
things will happen, but really, all those circumstances are neutral.
It’s your thoughts that create your feelings about them that then put you in the cycle of
not feeling great and then creating future actions or results from a place that you don’t
want. I just want you to realize this. It’s really that you’re trying to avoid certain feelings. If
we go back to putting myself out there with potential clients is– There are times when
somebody tells me no and I feel disappointed. I think, “Oh my gosh, I really wanted to work
with them. I knew I could really help them and I could already see the vision and what I
was going to do with them and all of these things,” and then they tell me no.
It’s just this feeling of disappointment and I will feel it for a while, to be honest with you.
I’m still working on this. I know there’s some deeper work to do here, but I still feel it and
then what happens is that I feel the next layer which is sadness, usually, of, “Man, I just
really wanted to work with her.” Some people may be like, “Oh, Lindsay, you probably just
wanted the money.” No, it’s truly what I feel deep in my core is, “Man, I just really wanted
to keep working with her or just work with her.”
As I mentioned, I’m in this Living the Dream launch and there has been three or four clients
that I reached out to via email and I said, “Hey, I see you haven’t applied. Why? What’s your
thinking right now? I really thought this would be great for you and I’d love to work with
you.” They’ve come back to me and just said different reasons why and I just got that wave
of, “Whew, man, I’m disappointed,” and then it’s just this wave of sadness and I just kind of
let it linger there because I know now it’s just part of the game and I know I can feel
anything and I can get through it.
Then I process it and then I move on, but then I’m so glad I put myself out there versus
thinking, “I wonder why that person didn’t sign up. Was it something I said?” I start making
up these stories and then I just always wonder versus just putting myself out there, getting
the answer, and then moving on. Then they know where I’m at, I know where they’re at,
and then we can just keep on moving and grooving. Then, too, we create a connection in
some ways where it’s just of all honesty, right?
I just really encourage you to think about that and listen to some of the recent podcasts
like on the Inner Mean Girl one where we’re talking about those voices that hold you back
and then the Feel the Feelings episodes. You really can learn how to process your feelings
because, again, if you don’t fear feeling these “icky feelings,” you can do anything.
Anything. You can just keep putting yourself out there. As I said, with this Living the Dream
launch, I’m guaranteeing the results. There’s a part of me that’s so excited and I can’t wait,
and I know that we’re going to create something magical together and amazing.
Then there’s a part of me that’s like, “Whoa. This is next-level, Lindsay. Are you ready for
this? What if? What if you can’t give them the results? What if you’re not a good enough
coach to get them the results? What if you can’t get them motivated enough to show up
100%?” but I’m going all in on it, right? I’d rather do that, I’d rather give them my all as a
coach and tell them how to give their all versus being like, “Yes, I think we’ll get those
results. It’ll be so-so.” “I’m just taking it to the next level.”
With all this to say, I hope you start applying this more in your life. As I said, it’s been a
game changer for me. It’s been so amazing to just put myself out there in this way and
realize that no matter what happens, I’m not attached to the results either. Really, the
experience is me just fully expressing myself in the most authentic way and really
claiming my power and claiming my presence and really saying, “Yes, I can get you those
kind of results,” or kind of speaking, in essence, in a really strong certain way in a lot of my
messaging lately.
Before, I’d be like, “Oh, we can do this,” or I’d be kind of beating around the bush about
things and now, I’m just like, “Hey, here’s what’s going on. Do you see it or not? Here’s
what it is. Here’s the bottom line.” It’s just made me such a better coach, a better person.
It’s made me, again, just have so much better results in my life. I hope this episode helped
you today. It’s always a little bit weird for me when I start talking about a new concept.
I must admit, the first time or two I do it, I think, “Does this make sense? Are they getting
a-has from this? Are they going to get results from this?” I’d love your feedback on this
episode. If you haven’t left a review for the show, please go do so. I love reading your
reviews. They mean the world to me. That’s all I have for this week, my friends. I’ll see you
in the next one. Bye.
[music]
Hey there, Miss Unstoppable. Thanks so much for tuning into this episode. If you enjoyed
it, share it with a friend. Send them a picture of this episode via text, via email, share it on
social media, I’m sure they would be so appreciative to know these strategies and tips on
how to accomplish your dreams. If you are ready to guarantee you’re going to accomplish
your goals and dreams, then it’s time to start coaching with me.
In my nine-month simple success coaching system, I am going to walk you every single
step of the way to ensure that you get the goals and dreams that you want. The first step is
to apply for a free 60-minute consult call. Just go to LindsayEpreston.com/apply to get
started. As always, my friend, remember, you’re only as unstoppable as you believe you can
be, so believe in yourself. You got this.
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