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OVERCOMING SOCIETY’S SETBACKS

If you want to be the best YOU you can be so you can accomplish your dreams no matter how the stats of life may be stacked against you, then join me for this episode.

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OVERCOMING SOCIETY'S SETBACKS

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” – Maya Angelou

Generally speaking, white men rule the world.

Stats back me up on this claim. 

Like…

  • The average lifetime earnings for a white man is 2.7 million. A black man is 1.8 million. A hispanic man is 2 million. A white woman is 1.5 million. A black woman is 1.3 million. A hispanic woman is 1.1 million. White men make more hands down especially when compared to their white female and POC counterparts doing the same job with the same background.
  • Out of the 923 Nobel Prize in Science winners 94% have been awarded to white males (thus possibly showing an argument that white males obtain a “better” education and are more accepted to thrive in the field to receive this award as compared to their POC and white female counterparts).
  • For every female character in a movie or TV show, there are 2.24 men. Women make up 32.9% of film leads and POC make up only 19.8%. (Proving we see more white males on screen than we see of anyone else. Plus there are additional stats not listed here showing that the primary people creating and directing what we consume are white males as well.)
  • In the US, 97% of elected Republican officials are white (with 76% male) and Democrat officials are 79% white (with 65% male). (Showing that most policy decisions are made by white males)
  • 1 in every 15 African American men and 1 in every 36 Hispanic men are incarcerated in comparison to 1 in every 106 white men. (Adding evidence to that POC are discriminated against in the legal system.)

….I could go on and on and on.

Unless you’re a white male, it can feel defeating to see stats like this over and over again. You may think things like, “No matter how hard I try, the cards of life are stacked against me.”

And, statistically you’d likely be proven true. 

But, it doesn’t have to be this way.

Now granted we can’t change others to stop their conscious and unconscious bias (if not discrimination) against women and POC but we CAN change ourselves. 

I believe one of the primary reasons why white men are currently the primary ones in power is because they’ve been handed out a stronger mindset. They’re able to thrive more from birth because they have less in their minds to overcome.

If you want to be the best YOU you can be so you can accomplish your dreams no matter how the stats may be stacked against you, then join me for this week’s “Become an Unstoppable Woman” podcast where I’ll be teaching you how to overcome society’s setbacks.

IN THIS EPISODE, I SPECIFICALLY TEACH:

  • The primary ways women and POC are holding themselves back without knowing it
  • The mindset of a white man (generally speaking) so you can accomplish goals like they do too 
  • How to thrive in a world that’s not fully set-up for your success

…and so much more

Get ready this episode will challenge you to grow in massive ways.  Listen via the link above or watch the video of this training below.

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

Apply to coach with me

Continue the conversation in my free online community

Get The 4-Day Accomplish Your Dreams Free Training 

Watch a video of this live training here

Full Transcript

POC Training

This is the Become an Unstoppable Woman podcast with Lindsay Preston Episode 76,
Overcome Society’s Setbacks.

[music]

Welcome to the Become an Unstoppable Woman podcast, the show for goal-getting, fearfacing women for kicking ass by creating change. I’m your host, Lindsay Preston. I’m a wife,
mom of two, and a multi-certified life coach to women all over the world. I’ve lived
through enough in life to know that easier doesn’t always equate to better. We can’t fear
the fire, we must learn to become it. On this show, I’ll teach you how to do just that. Join
me as I challenge you to become even more of the strong, resilient, and powerful woman
you were meant to be. Let’s do this.

[music]

Hi there, my friend. Welcome to this episode. As always, so honored to have you here.
Today we’re going to be talking about overcoming society setbacks. Like I’ve been doing
recently on the show, this is an audio from a live training that I did. Every Wednesday at
11:15 AM Central Time, I go live on my Facebook page. You can find me over there at
Lindsay Preston. Just search for it, my page should pop up. I also go live on Zoom. If you’re
on my email list, then every Tuesday or so I tell you what the topic is for the week. Then
Wednesday, you get a reminder email of, “Hey, I’m going live right now.” Also, if you’re on
my email list, you get the recordings after the training so you can watch.

I’m going to be doing this for the next few weeks at least, to just give extra value out there
in the world because gosh, we could all use it, right? [chuckles] We could all use some
help in our lives, and especially for many of us 2020 has been harder than normal. I like to
see it as a huge opportunity for growth. That’s why a lot of these episodes are called “solve
your problems” or “overcome something” or “seeing it as an opportunity”.

Today, specifically, as I said, we’re talking about society setbacks. What are society
setbacks? Well, they’re the things that necessarily not all of us are set up for, for success.
Statistically, white males are set up to thrive more than the rest of us. It can feel really
frustrating to know that even as a white woman, because I’m speaking for myself, that if
I’m compared to a white male doing the exact same job for the exact same background,
that I’m going to get paid less. Then if I’m a woman of color or– It just goes down from
there.

There’s so many other stats out there. I share some of those in the training, but yeah, it can
just feel like, “Man, how am I going to be able to live my best life even if society isn’t going
to support me in that?” I just want to offer you ways that you can. We can’t change other
people. Now, we can educate other people, and I love how so many people are out there
educating people and we’re putting out this information now, especially about not only
gender bias and discrimination, but race bias and discrimination. It has opened my eyes to
so many things in myself of unconscious bias. That’s been huge for me. I’m just so grateful
for the teachers out there that are doing that.

I want to make it very clear, is I am not somebody here to teach you about bias, especially
racial bias, but I am here to show you how you can show up as your best self and have a
mindset to be able to get what you want in your life even if other people’s mindset may be
where they have bias against you or discrimination, because that’s really all we can
control. We can control how we show up in this world. Many times, we are not showing up
as our best selves because I believe that white males, generally speaking, are given the
best mindset. They just have less to overcome. It’s been passed down for generation after
generation that they’ve been able to “thrive”.

We talked about this in the patriarchy stress disorder episode I did with Dr. Valerie Rein
months ago. I’ll link it in the show notes. If you haven’t listened, so fascinating. Her book,
so eye-opening. We talk about epigenetics and how, as women, we are passed down, in
essence, the traumas from past generations of other women, and that comes in our DNA.
We are experiencing some of this trauma of many generations ago where women were
definitely discriminated against and harmed in many ways. We just need to really make
sure that in our minds we’re not holding ourselves back in ways that we’re not aware of.
I believe a big part of that is that we’ve got to go in and we’ve got to process some of the
traumas of our past, especially if you’re in the US and you are a black woman or man.

Generally women are here on the podcast, so if you’re a black woman, you really need to
do this work because you have likely so much trauma in your DNA from your ancestors and
experiencing slavery and discrimination and harm. I know you’re still experiencing it today.
I’m going to give examples on this training of how I’ve helped other clients be able to spot
their beliefs that are holding them back and how they can process some of this stuff,
because man, I do not want this for you at all. I do not want future generations to have to
have a setback because of your mindset. We’ve got to build awareness with that.


Today, listen with an open heart, an open mind. I’m going to challenge you on this and
we’re going to hold hands together, virtually of course, as we go through this. It’s going to
be hard, but it’s going to be so worth it. I hope you enjoy this training and I hope you get
so much out of it. Here it is.

All right, let’s get into it. As I said, we’re going to talk about overcoming society setbacks
today. Really, the big thing that I want you to walk away with from today is this. Yes, there
are so many statistics out there that show that white men in essence rule the world. I put
some of these on my email. Basically I’m not going to go into the details of what I said on
my email, but basically we can see that white men earn the most out of any of us. If we
look at it even deeper, black men and Hispanic men earn more than even white women on
average over the lifetime of their– Earn more over the lifetime of their earnings.

Then if we look at black women, they earn even less. Hispanic women earn even less. Then
we look at people who are being rewarded things like Nobel Peace Prizes, or Nobel Prizes
in Science and so forth. It’s primarily white men. We look on our screens, we look on TV
and we look in movies. Primarily, we’re seeing white men. People who are directing those
movies and writing those movies, primarily white men. We look at politics. The people who
are making our policies, again, primarily white men. When we look at who’s being
incarcerated, we flip that and it’s not primarily white men. It’s primarily– The people we’re
putting in jail are people of color.

Believe whatever you want to believe about why that is. My biggest thing here is we can’t
control other people. We can educate them, and I love what’s going on right now in our
society as a whole, is we’re bringing forth so much of this information about gender and
race bias and discrimination. We’re showing people how they are having unconscious bias
toward women and people of color, which is amazing. That is not my role at all. I am not
here be an educator in that, especially a race educator, because I have not even walked in
those shoes at all. It’s obvious I am a white woman.

I can sit here, though, and I can present this information to you in two ways. First, as being
a woman. I have been discriminated against as a woman, but secondly, beyond that, I’m
here as a certified life coach. I’m a mindset expert. That’s what I do all day, every day. I
help people, especially go-getter women. It’s who I work with. I help them show up in the
absolute best way that they can, no matter what. No matter what society has as their
setbacks, that they’re showing up to their life as the absolute best version of them, no
matter what anybody else presents them with, whatever they’re having externally to them.
For whatever reason, I’m not with it with my words today. [chuckles]

Anyways, so what I’m saying here is that what I want to teach you today is I want to show
you, A, first, some things you may be holding yourself back in with your mindsets, because
what I have found working with women now in a coaching setting for, gosh, six or seven
years. Where am I at? Since 2014. I have found that women hold themselves back as a
whole, generally speaking. We’re generalizing. They have certain beliefs that male
counterparts, especially white males, do not have. I believe one of the biggest reasons why
white males are in essence ruling the world is because they have been handed a better
mindset. They’re not having to have as much cleanup in their minds. They just show up
and it’s like they innately know that they can, in essence, rule the world. Again, very
generally speaking. Everybody has their setbacks. Everybody has their nuances that they
have to overcome, but I’m just saying as a whole, white males tend to have less in their
mindset to overcome.

Today, I just want to bring forth some awareness of ways you may be holding yourself back
in your mindset because you’re a woman, and/or a person of color. We want to just bring
that out. Then I’m going to teach you how to start to overcome some of those things in
your mindset so that you can show up as the best you, because when you show up as the
best you and you come to things at a neutral place, especially when it comes to race and
gender in especially the workplace– When you come at it in a neutral way, not where
you’re angered or fired up, you’re able to come at it in an empowered way and a peaceful
way.

Think about, for example, Martin Luther King Jr. He was able to make so much change
because he came at race relations in a very empowered and peaceful way. I want that for
you. I want you to be able to go into your workplace or go into your personal life or
wherever and show up so strong and so peaceful and so empowered that– Again, it
doesn’t necessarily matter what happens external to you, because we can’t control that,
but you are so happy with the way that you’re showing up and you’re showing up as your
full self, versus, “Oh, I have to hide because I’m a woman or a person of color or I’m being
discriminated against,” and letting that seep into your bones and allow you to be held back
even more. Are you all following me on this? I hope that’s making sense.

Here’s what we want to start doing. We want to start seeing, “What is going on in my mind
that I may not be aware of that’s holding me back?” I want to present two things to you.
The first is this concept called epigenetics. If you have listened to my podcast, it’s called
Become An Unstoppable Woman, from time to time I have guests on there or I used to talk
about something called epigenetics. Epigenetics is really just showing that we pass on in
our DNA not just how we look and things of that sort, or even maybe some behavioral
traits, but in our DNA we are also passing on trauma.

For a lot of women especially, and especially people of color and especially black people
in the United States, they have been inherited a crap ton of trauma. They’re coming in on
life, this brand new baby, and already they have in their DNA this unprocessed trauma from
generations prior to that because, especially in the US, we have treated black people like
shit. They have gone through slavery, extreme trauma. Not only that, we look at so many
ways in which we treat other people of color around the world. We talk about women and
how they’ve been treated for generation after generation, and so that is seeping into our
DNA. Not only is it the experiences that we’ve had in our life to have that mold and shape
our belief system about being a woman or a person of color, but we also have our
generations before that. It’s really important that we do this work and we bring awareness
to the things that are going on in our mind that is impacting our body.

Let’s talk about that. Recently I did this exercise with a client where, in essence, what we
did is we just started with being a Hispanic woman on the top of the page. What does it
mean to be a Hispanic woman to her? We started thinking of, what are all the negative
things that are going on in your mind when I just say, “When you’re Hispanic woman, this
happens.” I want to share with you some of the beliefs that came out of us coaching
through that. I want you to do this exercise on your own too, and write on the top of it
whatever you are. I would say, I’m a white woman, being a white woman means da, da, da,
da, da. Start to think, “What are all the negative beliefs going on in my mind because of
that?” If you’re a black woman, being a black woman means da, da, da, da, da, as in this
case, being a Hispanic woman.

Some of the beliefs that started coming out for her is, “I won’t to amount to much. I have
to hide who I am and my culture.” She was specifically thinking of memories from her past
where she had to hide her culture, like speaking in Spanish and things of that sort. She
also said, “People are watching me,” because she felt like as a Hispanic woman, people are
watching her more to see her mess up or to do bad things. She also felt more as a Hispanic
woman, the world is unsafe or others are unsafe. Even it could go as far as, “Others are
against me or they’re out to get me.”

Again, statistically, could we say some of these things are true? Absolutely. But if we’re
going in to our world and we’re believing these things, we have to start asking ourselves,
“Does it serve us?” Does it serve us to continue to show up in a world and think, “I’m not
going to have as many opportunities? I’m going to be discriminated against. I’m going to–“
because what happens is, what we think about is what becomes our reality. If you follow
some of these other free trainings or you listen to my stuff closely, I talk about this all the
time. We’ve been talking about the self-coaching model a lot, and how our thoughts in
essence become our actions and then our results.

Again, as I keep saying, we can’t control other people. Yes, you still may be discriminated
against in certain ways. Yes, there may still be bias against you with other people, but we
want you to come into those situations thinking, “I have all the opportunity. I’m going to
be able to thrive. I’m going to be able to be myself.” If you are discriminated against, or
there’s bias against you in those situations, you’re able to handle those in a really great
way versus coming at them in a way where it’s only going to cause more separation
between people and it’s going to take the person who is discriminating or having bias
against you and make them have even more bias.

We’re seeing this a lot right now in the US with people who are deemed racist, and then
people who are maybe in the middle, and then there’s anti-racists. We’re actively working
on trying to expose everybody and their unconscious bias. So many people are so stuck in
this mindset that they are just not racist. We’re seeing this time and time and time again,
and they won’t even explore it. I’ve had to do this with my own family and some friends of
mine, and just having them open their minds just a little bit of like, “Hey, have you ever
thought about this unconscious bias?” If I were to come at that and come at it in a way
where I’m really angry and really fired up and just da, da, da, I’m not going to be taken as
seriously. I have to come at it in a very strategic way. I have to feel very neutral about it,
very empowered in my beliefs, because that’s what’s going to change people’s minds.

They’re going to say– In essence what we talk about in coaching is they have a thought
about you. Maybe it is a conscious or unconscious thought of, the example of my client
here, of being a Hispanic woman. Maybe it’s that she won’t amount to as much as her
white counterpart. But if you show up in this great way where you feel like you’re giving
your authentic self, your 100%, then it’s going to start poking holes at their belief that
Hispanics maybe aren’t as good, or black people aren’t as good, or women aren’t as good.

It’s going to start poking holes at their belief. They’re not going to consciously know this
yet, but they’re going to start to see, “Okay, this is an exception to the rule,” and they’re
just going to constantly– Their brain is going to be starting to process of how you are
different and how you’re going to get more of the results that you want because of that.
Hopefully that’s making sense. I know this is– It’s a big topic. That’s why I said today,
today is really going to challenge you because I’m trying to open your mind to seeing how,
again, the power is all in your hands, and how you can show up in the best way.

Let’s go back, though, to that exercise I told you about where you’re going to write on the
top of the page, as a– Like my case, as a white woman, that means da, da, da. For my client
it was, as a Hispanic woman, that means da, da, da. As I said, “I won’t amount to much. I
have to hide who I am, my culture. People are watching me. The world is unsafe. Others
are unsafe. I’m dismissed more often. I have to be super good because I have to overly
prove myself.” That’s a really tricky one. I catch this a lot with all women that I work with,
no matter what the color, is we feel like we have to perform at an even higher level than
our male counterparts, which statistically would be shown true. They have shown that
women have to be 2.5 times smarter than the man to be able to have the same role or
something like that. It’s freaking ridiculous.

Again, if we’re having to believe those thoughts of like, “I have to be even better and prove
myself even more,” it’s not going to work in our favor. Then we’re just going to be having
overly perfectionist tendencies, having a high inner critic, or we’re just never going to feel
good enough. This is why a lot of women experience a ton of burnout and a ton of selfcriticism in the process of that. In essence, yes, we have been unconsciously told that we
have to perform better. We have to be smarter than our male counterparts to just get the
same equal treatments, but it’s not serving us to go in with that mentality.

Again, some of the beliefs that she had, “I’m not going to be believed as much as others.”
This is a big one for all women. I was just working with a client with this earlier this week
about how something happened to her and the male was believed over her. This is coming
to light a lot in our society right now with the MeToo movement. All these males get
believed over women. Granted again, statistically that could be proven true, but we’ve got
to start to change our mindset with that. The other belief she had is, “I have to play small
and be quiet. I have to stay in my place of the box of Hispanic woman, and I’m seen as less
because I’m a Hispanic woman.”

Again, let’s all take a deep breath. I want you to do that exercise. It’s very powerful, it’s
eye-opening. I’ve done this with many clients. This was just one in particular, and I
remember the experience of doing this with her a few weeks ago. There were a lot of tears
of bringing all this to the surface. I do this with women that I work with. We do a whole
call where we’re talking about the patterns of their thoughts, and we specifically go into
women’s patterns. I want to share with you again some of the patterns that they’ve been
able to bring up as we’ve done that call together, because I want you to just start to see
things that you may be thinking about yourself and the world as being a woman.

Again, you’re going to have even more if you’re a person of color here. Women’s patterns
that I’ve seen with clients, the first is, “Being sexy is bad. I have to be pretty but I can’t be
too pretty. I need to take care of others. That’s my role. I need to be on the go, go, go. It’s
not safe to trust my intuition, or my intuition is just seen as woo-woo. I need to trust facts
over that. I need to be nice and be liked. I’m here to serve men,” which is a really deep one
for a lot of us that we don’t even know is there. “A woman must be all the things. She must
be able to do all the things and be well-rounded and balanced. You must be great in the
bedroom, but you must also be conservative. Then you must be great at your job and you
must be great at home, and you must be a great businesswoman and a great mother.” It
goes on and on. That’s a big thing for women is that deep down belief.

“You need to speak up but you can’t be too loud.” That’s a thing I see with a lot of my
clients often, with women, is that we have been told in our society often, is to show up and
be seen, but don’t be too seen. Say what you mean, but don’t say it too loud. Be pretty, but
not too pretty, as what I said earlier. Be smart, but not too smart. We’re constantly in this
push-pull of like, “Okay, I want to show up and be seen, but then I don’t want to overstep
my bounds and I don’t want to overpower any boys or whatever.”

Just start to bring to mind what resonates with you as I’m speaking here. “Playing dumb
makes life easier” is one. My husband caught me on this a few years ago. I was talking
about something and I said, “Well, I went back to that person and I just asked a question of
da, da, da, da, da.” He goes, “What? Why would you ask it as a question, Lindsay? You knew
exactly what that person meant and da, da, da.” I said, “Well sometimes I like to play
dumb.” He’s like, “Don’t ever play dumb, Lindsay. You need to quit playing dumb. You need
to just say what it is and say what you know it is.” I remember in that moment being mind
blown of like, “Oh my gosh, you’re totally right.” I play dumb a lot because I think, a lot of
times as women, we don’t want to come out and just say our truth or say what it is because
then people are like, “Oh, what a bitch. Too much,” right?

That moment in time of him calling me out on that, it was powerful. I remember, as I said, I
was mind blown. It took me some time to really sit with that, of like, how often am I
playing dumb? That has changed a huge trajectory in my life, especially in the way that I
coach, because I don’t sit there and play dumb with my clients most times. I’m like, “Hey,
did you notice this about your mindset? Hey, did you notice that when you did this
behavior da, da, da, da, da?” I call it out, and they’re getting so much better results from
that, so much faster results. It’s changed the game in so many areas in so many ways, so
think about that one too. That’s a big one, is playing dumb.

“Men are more powerful, smarter, and in charge,” which again, statistically can be shown
that that is the truth, but if we’re thinking that then we’re always going to be
unconsciously giving our power away to men and saying, “Well, they’re the ones in charge.

They’re the smarter ones. I’ll just sit back and take what I can get,” kind of thing. That’s
what I want you to start to see is, start to see what you’re creating and your result line of
your life because of these thoughts. It’s likely little bitty things that you’re doing that
you’re holding yourself back because you just think, “Oh, well, men are just going to get it
better, or they’re just going to get more opportunity and I’m not.”

When I have this call with clients and we’re catching these women’s patterns, I ask them
specifically is like, “Do you feel like these beliefs are serving you?” They usually say no.
Then I say, “Okay, how can we start to change it?” One of the big things that comes out on
many of those calls for many of those women is, “It just feels like so much, Lindsay. I just
feel like, well, that’s just the way the world works.” I have to come back at them and I say,
“Yes, it’s the way the world may work right now, statistically speaking, but we have to be
the ones to change it.”

I know sometimes it can be really frustrating. I can’t tell you how many days I’ve had
where I have cried and I’ve gotten angry about certain things that I’ve realized that I’ve
been held back on as a woman. It’s hard stuff. I can only imagine what it may be like as a
person of color, but that’s the work we have to do. We have to go in. We have to be willing
to feel the feelings. We have to be willing to process those things. I know for me it does–
It feels like a burden that I don’t want to have sometimes. It’s like, “Why do I have to do
this work? Why is it that I have to feel these things?” It’s like, “I just wish I could have been
born a white male. It’s so much easier for them.”

Then it’s like, “This is what it is, Lindsay. You’re a woman for a reason. How are you going
to use this and your power? How are you going to take this and be the agent for change?”
I’ve got to do the work to release all of this stuff every time it comes up for me and it’s
very emotionally triggering. It’s like, “It’s not going to serve me to go out there and
continue being emotionally triggered because I think men don’t have to be as smart as
women.” I need to release all my feelings from that, so all the sadness, all the anger from
that, so that I can come in and just be completely neutral and be empowered and be ready
to go and, again, be that agent for change.

Again, I always am thinking about Martin Luther King Jr. and this is like, “How can I be
more like that?” I even think about– I don’t know if you’re a spiritual person or not, but I
even think about Jesus. I think about– He was saying some stuff at the time when he was
out living in the world and people were like, “What is up with this dude? [chuckles] He’s a
little cuckoo right?” He had his people, but he had the other people that were like, “This
guy is out there.” He just kept showing up as his best self, speaking his truth, doing his
thing. Came at it with peace and love and forgiveness and all that.

I know it’s so hard to come at things in that way of, like this person definitely has some
bias against me and they may even be borderline, if not racist. Right now, especially in our
country, we have an election. The two parties just seem like one is being deemed as racist,
and the other one is not racist. It can be really triggering time right now for people. I’m
working with a lot of clients right now on this, of how they’re being triggered by certain
things with the election, and people that they love not voting in a way that’s going to
support them, be it their race or their sexual orientation or being a woman. It’s very hard.

This is our work, and it stinks, and it sucks. It sucks sometimes to realize that we can’t just
always play the victim card and be like, “Well, this is just the way the world works and I’ll
sit back and take it as is.” That we have to show up and do our work, even when it’s like, “I
don’t really know if I want to do this work.” I always go back to my spiritual beliefs and
think, “I was born as this person for a reason.”

I don’t know why I came in this world as a white woman. I could go even deeper in that
with the certain privileges that I have and the ones that I haven’t had. I don’t know why. I
don’t why I was chosen for this life as this person right now. All I know is I have the tools
to make this the best life ever, even if sometimes that feels like I have to process things
and do some work that I know my male counterparts don’t have to do, especially my white
male counterparts don’t have to do. Instead of just being resentful and mad about that, I
take it as, “All right. I’m going to trust in something bigger here, that I am just here to do
this work,” and just let it go. Am I making sense, my friends? I hope so.

Really, what I’m wanting you to see here is, bring forth the awareness of what beliefs you
have about the world as a woman and/or a person of color and start to think, “Are these
beliefs serving me?” and, “What do I need to do to process the feelings of these beliefs?”
Likely those beliefs have been wired in with a lot of feeling in your brain. Your brain really
wants to hold on to those beliefs. They really do, but moving forward in your life, if you
want to be the fullest expression of who you are and be able to show up in the absolute
best way in your life, you got to go in and heal that stuff. You just got to.

It stinks and it sucks, and it doesn’t feel good. I was just on a coaching call with my coach
last night. We were talking about some of the things that I’m growing in. I told her– I said
the F word. I was like, “F.” I was like, “Every time I think I’m done growing, I have another
layer of growth to go.” She’s like, “I know, Lindsay, but you’re here for it, right?” I’m like,
“I’m totally here for it, but it stinks sometimes to know the growth that we have in store.”

Here’s what the cool part is. Once we do the growth and we’re on the other side of it and
we are past those beliefs that we wrote down of things that just felt really strong at the
time, when we heal it, they don’t have power over us anymore. We feel so much freedom
and so much weight has been gone, and that’s when the results of our life start to change.
That’s when we start taking massive action. It’s a term I talk about a lot where you’re just
in this place of, “Here’s my goals and I’m going to go after it and I’m going to get it no
matter what. I’m here to do the work to get it.”

I talk about recently how my life has changed so much in 10 years. I had a podcast last
week called “10-Year Vision”, and I talked about when I was 25, 26, I was all over the place
in my career. Yes, I had had some success, but I had my daughter, and I unexpectedly had
her, and I just didn’t have the right insurance at the time and I ended up having her on
Medicaid. In the past 10 years, I’ve completely changed as a person, and my financial
situation has completely changed in a way where by the time I’m 40, I’m going to– If we’re
saving like we’re saving now, I’m going to be a millionaire. Then we’re just going to keep
going from there.

That’s craziness, right, to be able to go from those kind of differences in a 10-year span?
That’s the beauty of doing this kind of work. I would not be where I am today had I not
hired a coach, gosh, what was it, six years ago in 2013? Is that six, seven years ago? I
would not be the person that I am today. Yes, it stinks and it sucks. You’re going in and
have to pull these beliefs and then feel through them and all that stuff, but man, on the
other side of it is the good stuff.

That’s what allows me to, in essence, be a light for other people. To be an educator for
other people, not just in my professional sense of here with you as a coach, but in my
personal life. What I was coaching on with my coach last night is something going on in
my personal life that I want to show up as the best expression of me and my most
authentic self. It feels really scary to go do this in this one situation, but I know on the
other side of that growth, it’s so worth it. It’s so worth it.

It doesn’t mean that everybody has to get me and everybody’s going to treat me well and
I’m going to get all the results I want when I want them. Many times we’re like, “I want my
results exactly when I want them.” It doesn’t mean that that’s going to happen, but it
means that I know that I can show up as my best self. Me doing that is going in and
pulling, “What are these beliefs that are holding me back?” Again, I really encourage you to
sit down and write, as a white woman, or as a Hispanic woman, black woman, or black
male if any guys are listening to this. Write down all the beliefs.

It’s going to feel really hard to write them down, but start to see what’s going on in your
mind. Then start to ask yourself, “What is that I want to change here? Because I want to be
an agent for change, and I want to be able to live my best life no matter what society as a
whole believes about me, consciously or unconsciously, because I’m going to be the one
that’s going to prove them wrong.

Now, if you’re like, “Lindsay, that’s a really big task to do on my own. I don’t know if I can
do that.” This is what I do with my clients all day everyday. We go through a nine-month
coaching process. We start out with a free consult call and I’m digging into, in essence, all
the areas of your life. Where you’re at now and where you want to be when you’re at your
10 life, that ideal, most fulfilled life for you. We’re getting really clear on it, on what it is
that we can do in the next nine months of coaching. Then I guarantee results from there.

If you’re somebody that’s like, “Lindsay, I don’t want to be held back anymore because of
my race or my gender. Here are the results I want from that. I want to make more money. I
want to feel at peace in my world instead of anxious all the time. I want to do all these
things.” Then we can sit down and really talk about, “What is it that I can guarantee will
happen in the next nine months.” We can make a lot of change in the nine months, and
then from there you’re going to learn the tools for success to continuously up-level your
life.

Then from there, after the consult, we get to work. I just had a call with a client. It was her
very first call after the consult. We’re putting together her 90-day goals. What is it you’re
going to achieve in the first 90 days? Then from there, we’re looking at all the stuff that
I’ve told you today. All of these beliefs is the next call. All the things that are holding you
back. Then we go even deeper to the things that are holding you back. We spend a couple
of weeks doing that.

Then I teach you the process on how to feel, deal, and heal that stuff. This stuff doesn’t
have power over you anymore. All that crappy stuff that happened to you in your past, and
even happened in your ancestors’ past that you may not be fully aware of that you have
inherited, starts to go away. Then after that, those first 90 days, you start showing up in a
whole different way and you’re able to live as your most authentic self. You’re able to go
after your goals and your dreams, and we paint a huge life vision for you. Then you start
achieving that stuff.

Again, you start showing up as your best self. That’s where the results start to change. You
become one of those barrier breakers even more so in your life, because you likely have
already been that, especially if you’re a go-getter woman. We know how to break barriers.
It’s like, “You’re going to set me back something, uh-uh, I’m going to figure out a way over
it,” but you’re going to do it even more, and you’re going to do it in an even more peaceful
way and in a more empowered way where you’re not so anxious.

For a lot of my clients they feel like they’re on a rollercoaster ride. It’s like, “Some parts of
my life I feel really great. I have really great days. Then some days it’s like I just crash and
burn.” What I want for you is to have a really smooth, easy life and be able, yes, to have
those ups and downs, but feel like you’re constantly moving forward in life. Feeling, again,
like your best self.

I hope you’re walking away with a lot today. I feel like this can be a lot to take in in your
brain because it’s just poking holes at maybe some things that you weren’t fully aware of
in your mind. Just know, I’m here as a resource for you. I would love, love, love to help you
if you feel called to, “Now is the time. I’m ready to step into my best self.” I have just a few
spots left for coaching for clients in 2020. Then it goes to 2021 packages. The rate
increases a little bit and then we can’t get started until January. Now is the best time to
get started if you feel called.

The next step to get in that process of potentially starting to coach with me is to fill out an
application. You just answer a couple of questions about yourself and what you want out
of life. From there, I’ll reach out to you and we’ll schedule a free consult call. Let’s see, my
mouse isn’t working. To go and– I don’t know why my mouse is dead. To go and fill out an
application, you just go to lindsayepreston.com/apply to go and apply for that consult call.

If you’re watching the recording of this, the link is right below this video. I encourage you
again, you don’t have to go through this process alone. You can have somebody that holds
your hand through it and challenges you along the way to step into that best self. You
don’t have to sit and think, “How am I going to do this on my own,” or, “Maybe one day.
Maybe one day I’ll achieve all my life’s goals. Maybe one day I’ll be that person I want to
be even more.” We can create it now. We can start doing that immediately, right out of the
gate. Time is the best resource there is. It’s the most precious one that we have.

If you feel called, it’s like, “Let’s go.” Let’s start making those changes in your life. Let’s
heal this crap. Let’s get you to be one of those people who is like those people that just
defy the odds, is the word that’s coming to mind of like, “Wow. How did she do all of that
in her life? How is it that she was in that very small percentage of people that just went
against all the statistics of life?” Such cool stuff.

I hope today inspired you. I hope it opened your mind. I hope you feel motivated to go out
and make changes in your life and to make a difference, because you absolutely can, my
friend. You can show up as your absolute best self. Thanks for joining me today. I hope to
see you next time on one of these trainings or in a free consult call soon. I’ll see you then.
Bye.

[music]

Hey there, Miss Unstoppable. Thanks so much for tuning into this episode. If you enjoyed
it, share it with a friend. Send them a picture of this episode via text, via email, share it on
social media, I’m sure they would be so appreciative to know these strategies and tips on
how to accomplish your dreams. If you are ready to guarantee you’re going to accomplish
your goals and dreams, then it’s time to start coaching with me.
In my nine-month simple success coaching system, I am going to walk you every single
step of the way to ensure that you get the goals and dreams that you want. The first step is
to apply for a free 60-minute consult call. Just go to LindsayEpreston.com/apply to get
started. As always, my friend, remember, you’re only as unstoppable as you believe you can
be, so believe in yourself. You got this.

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